PROLOGUE
Her mind flashed to Jake, who was nothing but nice to her, and cared about her, and she promised herself that she would never hurt him, that she would always be there for him. And look at her, driving off and giving no explanation. But today was different, today was the worst day of her life, happening once every year.
Sonya started crying again, not carrying that that her tears made the lights blurry, and other cars on the free way look fuzzy. There wasn't that much traffic between 12 and 5 in the morning.
TRYING
ONE
SONYA GREEN just wanted to go home. She hated feeling like this around people. She hated feeling as if she was only physically there, and no one really cared. She hated feeling angry about so many things, but she couldn't help it.
"Dude your retarded!" Jake Englewood remarked after his best friend Luke Dune sprayed the Coke in his mouth all over him.
"Wow, what is this? Seventh grade?" Sonyas best friend Holly Bauer asked sarcastically. Luke laughed, slinging his arm around Hollys shoulder.
Ugh.
Sonya thought; she hated how some people just got that, how guys liked them like that. Sure, Sonya had had boyfriends but none of them had really mattered to her. And obviously she hadn't mattered to them because none of them had given a rats ass when she dumped them. But Holly always had guys liking her, and when she dated a guy they were always so whipped. Like they would do anything for her, and when she dumped guys they became depressed.
It's not like Sonya was jealous of the guys because none of Hollys boyfriends were particularly attractive in Sonyas opinion, but hey, to each her own. Sonya had been so caught up in her thoughts she hadn't noticed them getting ready to go,
"Sonya... Are you coming...?" Jake asked,
"Yeah, sorry," she mumbled,
"Did you not hear us argue about who was leaving the tip? Jesus, lord knows that was a lot of shouting," Holly joked,
"I'm telling you, six feet under the stars," Jake said, smiling at Sonya. Sonya tried to smile back, Jake knew her so well. He was always telling her (because she ways seemed so distant and had a remarkable talent for tuning out everything and everyone) that she was living six feet under the stars.
As they walked out the door Holly let the guys get ahead of them,
"Ok you seriously need to get with Jake," Holly said, nudging Sonya. Sonya rolled her eyes, how many times had they had this conversation?
"I told you, were just friends," "Sonya.
"Come on now! Let's be smart! He's a 17 year old guy. I don't think friendship is on his mind when he's looking at you..."
"Well it better be, cuz that's all he's getting." Sonya replied, speeding up to the car.
In their small northern Minnesota town there was little to nothing to do. Most people went to the diner/bowling alley like they just had, and there was also a play ground right off the beach (of Lake Superior) that they liked to hang out at.
Sonya loved sitting on top of the play structure, because if you were tall enough you could climb on top of it and sit in the crevice between the slope of the tower on one side and the second tower that's less slanted, and lean back on the wall of the middle connecting the two towers and look out at Lake Superior.
Holly was being spun around on the tire swing and screaming like a banshee. Jake jumped up and sat next to Sonya on the bridge, which also faced the lake.
"Hey," he said as he sat down, flipping his dark blond hair out of his ocean gray eyes with a quick flick of his head.
He's so adorable Sonya thought, she wasn't saying she didn't like Jake, he was hot and she thought that physically they looked good as a couple. Him with his dark blond hair, gray eyes, tan skin, tall toned body. She had an elegant figure, not to skinny but not to curvy, dark mahogany hair, stunning green eyes. She smiled at him,
"Hey,"
"So you really like just sitting here?" he asked her with a grin,
"Definitely," she said, curling her knees up to her body and wrapping her arms around them, "I think the lake is so beautiful, I never get used to it. I love the breeze, it helps me think,"
"Hmmm. And what do you think about when your sitting here?" he asked, raising his right eye brow,
"Well I can't tell you, can I? Their my personal thoughts," the smile faded of Jakes face a little,
"Sometimes I don't understand you, Sonya Green," he said with a sigh, she smiled more, "I don't either," she said,
"I kind of like that though, it keeps me interested in you," he said, leaning in. He's going to kiss me Sonya thought, he's going to kiss me and I'm going to let him. And he did kiss her, and she did let him. She wasn't really looking to be in a relationship, but she wasn't really looking to reject Jake either, she did like him, and he had said he magic words, "it keeps me interested," those words stayed with her forever.
The next morning Sonya woke up on Hollys couch with Holly sitting on her, singing. "Oh my god. Can we not!" Sonya moaned, rubbing her eyes.
"Rise and shine sleepy head!" she said, putting on her biggest smile.
"Ugh. What time is it?" Sonya asked,
"Nine thirty," Holly replied happily.
"Its only nine- thirty?! Jesus Christ! I'm going back to sleep!" Sonya exclaimed, annoyed Holly had woken her up so early.
"Nope your not! I've been up since seven and we have things to do!"
"What do we possibly have to do on a Saturday at NINE THIRTY IN THE MORNING??!?!" Sonya asked, exasperated.
"Well first of all, your going out with Jake now?!" Sonya sat up, realizing Holly wasn't letting her go back to sleep.
"I don't know, we didn't really talk about it." Sonya said, yawning.
"But I mean you were making out, and then he held your hand!" Holly said, excited,
"I guess, I mean I like him, I just don't know if I want to be in a relationship right now."
"Why?! You have been before!"
"Yeah, and look how great they turned out,"
"Sonya, you can't say that you never really let those relationships go anywhere before you dumped them!"
"Well those guys just aren't what I'm looking for,"
"And what ARE you looking for?"
"Someone who makes me feel like I'm alive and I want to stay that way forever with them," Sonya replied. This she was sure of, she didn't know if it was normal for a 17 year old to want to settle down, but she did. Not really settle down in the technical sense. She didn't want to get married or anything, but she wanted to find someone who she loves and wants to be with forever and feels the same way about her. She wanted to fight with whoever this was, and have issues, because perfect relationships were boring. But she wanted to find that someone to be with forever.
"Hun, these things take time! You have to let them," Holly said, "I mean look at me and Luke. Who ever thought we would date?"
"Um everyone..." Sonya said, "Well whatever, we had been dating eight months before I knew for sure I loved him." Sonya sighed, "And I really am happy for you, I just haven't found that,"
"Well your going to start NOW, call Jake," Holly said, shoving a phone in Sonyas face. "What makes you think he'll be awake? Most normal teenagers aren't..."
"Call him!" Holly said. Shaking the phone,
"Fine, fine. Christ, don't wet yourself." Sonya scrolled through the contacts until she found Jake, called and it went straight to voice mail.
"Well I hate to say I told you so..." she said, smiling.
"Whatever, his phones probably dead," Holly said, rolling her eyes,
"Mhmm, I'm sure." Sonya said, getting up to get dressed.
Two hours later Sonya sat in her bathing suit, lying on her back on the rocky shore of Superior, sunglasses covering her eyes from the blinding sun. She had chosen to stay out of the water, she wasn't much of a swimmer, and she just didn't like water in general. Holly, Luke, and Jake how ever were in the water, laughing and splashing and having a blast.
Sonya smiled, Holly was so care free, and light hearted, sometimes Sonya wished she could be, but she over thought everything, analyzed everyone, noticed every little detail. She beard rocks crunching near by her, she opened her eyes, and sat up, and her hair was in a bun, in attempt to keep herself cooler in this hot July weather.
"You should come in, the waters actually warm- well for Lake Superior," Jake said, kissing her on the cheek and sitting down beside her on one of the twenty towels Holly and Sonya had brought. Sonya laughed,
"Yeah me and water... No." Jake shook out his hair, getting water on her, "Oh my god! You said it wasn't cold!" she squealed, punching him,
"Well it's either that or you come in with me..." he said, trailing off in his sentence, then wrapping his arms around her stomach trying to pick her up,
"Ahhh! No Jake no! Seriously!" he laughed,
"Nope! Your going in!" she laughed and screamed as she was slung over his shoulder and thrown in the clear water.
She took a deep breath at least before she plunged in, underwater everything was still, and silent. She opened her eyes, the water was so clear she could see all the little Cray fish peering shyly at her from behind rocks, she could see the algae on the slippery rocks rock back and forth with the waves motion, it was so peaceful. Then a pair of hands circled her wrists and pulled her up, she gasped when she hit the surface, surprised at how much she needed the air.
"What were you under for so long for?!" Jake asked, wrapping her in a hug, Sonya found her teeth were chattering.
"S-s-sorr-y, I w-w-as j-j-u-st e-e-xpecting the w-w-ater to be w-w-armer," Jake laughed, "My bad, let's get you back on land."
They walked back to their towels and bags and sunscreen and everything and Jake grabbed two towels and wrapped them around Sonya, then rubbed his hands up and down her arms, trying to warm her up.
"A-a-rent y-y-ou c-c-old?" she asked him, he smiled,
"Nah, my mom actually gave birth to me in this lake, I've never gotten cold in it,"
"So you aren't just trying to look cool when you swim when it's cold?" Sonya joked, "Ohhhh, you wanna go back in the lake?" he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, she laughed,
"Nooo,"
"That's what I thought," then he leaned in and kissed her.
"Awee you two are just so cute!" Holly said, as her and Luke walked over to them,
"Yeah sooo cute!" Luke said, mimicking Holly, she giggled,
"Shut up!" we all laughed, Holly and Luke were always going at each other, and it was pretty funny.
They sat there until the sun started to set talking and laughing and joking,
"The suns setting, we should get a fire going before the bugs get really bad," Jake said, getting up.
"Well you two gather wood, and well supervise..." Holly said. Sonya rolled her eyes, "Sure Hol." her and Jake wandered away from there spot, here was a river that flowed into the lake, and they started wandering towards it, since there wasn't a lot of drift wood. "Hey I found a ton of wood over here!" Jake yelled, Sonya ran over, and he sure had. It was as if someone had gathered all the wood for a fire then decided just to not make one. "Good job," she said, laughing, he gave her a fake surprised face,
"Am I sensing sarcasm?" he asked, Sonya stepped towards him,
"Me! Sarcastic! Of course not!" then she kissed him. This was the happiest she had been in a while, Sonya thought, Jakes hands around her waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, she loved the way he tastes. She could stay like this forever. Maybe Hollys right, she thought, Jake was cute and nice and he made her laugh and forget everything bad. "We probably should get this wood back..." Jake said, breaking off and smiling at her, Sonya sighed,
"Yeah I guess..." she kissed him one more time, then they gathered up all the wood they could and carried it back to Holly and Luke, who were making out. They dumped the wood at their feet, Holly and Luke looked up,
"Jesus man, did you guys get lost or somethin?" Luke asked,
"Whatever man I don't see you helpin us get wood" Jake replied, chucking a stick at Lukes head. Luke grinned,
"Alright now if you all will step back, time to let the master start this thing." he said, bending down to start the fire, he successfully got it started but we soon ran out of wood, "Well Hol since we got the first round of wood, you have to get everything to feed the fire." Sonya said,
"Ugh. Fine." she said, she got a good amount of wood, and we dragged a huge log over to sit on,
"You know, this is actually fun," Sonya said, leaning her head on Jakes shoulder. Jake laughed, putting his arm around her,
"Well I'm glad you think so," he said.
"Seriously like now that you two are dating we can finally go on double dates without it being weird." Holly said,
"You made us do that anyways..." Sonya pointed out,
"Well now it's official. To you two," Luke said, raising his beer, the rest of them did the same, and then took a swig.
Sonya tossed her head back and laughed, all their laughter echoing out into the night.
