just random words(:

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and just when you thought it was okay, the light strikes and then goes out. Once again you're plunged into darkness;

-Dalliance
The fluorescent moon leads us to another world; She tells us there are such things as forever; And looking at you, I believe it.




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Hey Dalliance! Welcome to YWS! :D

A very quick work that you've done, so this is going to be a very quick critique. ;) The main thing is that the "light strikes" doesn't really have too much of an image... what kind of a light? I'm assuming it's a match, but it could be lightning. So I would definitely say what kind of light this is so that it has more power in the description!

Still, neat idea! You should probably look into writing poetry. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Bonjour Dalliance, d'une part, les capitales utiliser pour vos commandes. Cela peut sembler assez d'avoir tout en minuscules, mais il ya des tas de ballots de ponctuation ici et ils pourraient obtenir aggro à vous d'être nouvelle et naïf. Blagues. Bienvenue à YWS par la voie!
Most people see what is and never what can be. - Albert Einstein



You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future, not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.
— Rod Serling