What Can I Say

Glowing words, everything is alight
I watched you change my life
My heart was once filled with bitterness
But you changed me from that first smile

And I’ll cry if you have to go
Always know that I’ve loved you
More than you can comprehend
You always shall belong in my heart
-
Chorus:
What can I say
(To keep myself sane)
What can I do
(To keep you here forever)
What can I say
To make you say
“I’m here to stay.”
--
How do kind words come to this
I think about you all the time
But that’s no excuse for the way I behave
God, I get so nervous

I’ll be sorry if you want to leave
I’ll always blame myself
No matter what your reason is
You’ll always be in my heart
-
Chorus:
What can I say
(To keep myself sane)
What can I do
(To keep you here forever)
What can I say
To make you say
“I’m here to stay.”
--
Bridge:
Be with me, breathe me
Know me inside and out
I need you here beside me
‘Cause without you
I don’t have anything to say
---
Chorus:
What can I say
(To keep myself sane)
What can I do
(To keep you here forever)
What can I say
To make you stay here
--
Chorus:
What can I say
(What can I say)
What can I do (do)
What can I say
To make you say
“I’m here to stay.”
--
I want you to stay

Hi, I am jemjive and I will be your reviewer today. I think these lyrics are pretty good however there are some spots that I think could be slightly changed. The part that I am not a fan of is

What can I say

To make you say

“I’m here to stay.”

to me it just sounds akward. Say, say, and then stay sounds weird to me. I suppose it would be fine to keep it like that I just think that it could use something different. Maybe like "What can I do?" or "Is there anything I can do?" Other than that spot I really liked it, it gave me a vivid image of what you were feeling. Keep writing,
-Jem

Hello, I'm Hydey. Let's take a look at your lyrics, shall we?
First of all, this was beutiful! The feeling, the emotion, and the flow is what holds a good song togeather, and I believe you have it.

Hey Ross!

So, you're writing lyrics! Yay!

Now, for the first verse, it seems really really cheesy. I don't know. I like the chorus and how it runs, but the first verse is driving me nuts.

Also! This!

I’ll be sorry if you want to leave
I’ll always blame myself
No matter what your reason is
You’ll always be in my heart

It seems weird that you're focusing on yourself and self-pity, etc., and then talk about how he'll always be in your heart. I don't know... it seems decidedly unromantic, if you know what I mean.

Anyway! I did like the chorus and such. It sounds like a catchy pop song.

My heart was once filled with bitterness

But you changed me from that first smile

This was the only part I had a problem with -- it sounds too cliched, to me.

My favorite part was the bridge! it was really neat sounding. I can see this being sang by Demi. ;D


-Jon