My Special Place

My Special Place

It is often said that true happiness lies within... that is exactly where I go to find my special place. The outside world has an ugly face; it is damaged and disfigured from the actions of mankind. My inner sanctuary is a place of peace and tranquility, a place where dreams can come true and happiness abounds.

For me that special place is deep within my soul. It’s where I escape to when the unhappiness surrounding me becomes unbearable and threatens to snatch all joy away in its icy claws. I close my eyes and float away like a butterfly to a magical place. Rows of autumn trees, dressed in bright citrus coloured garments, wave their arms to welcome me. A gentle breeze sweeps across the landscape inviting the leaves to dance as they flutter softly to their bed below. The crunch of the colourful carpet underfoot releases an earthy rich aroma that wafts upwards to awaken my numbed senses. I feel alive and refreshed as I take in the sheer beauty of my special place. I gaze upwards to the heavens and am greeted by a brilliant blueness dotted randomly with white, fluffy wisps. It is as if a great artist has taken a bucket of pastel tones and spilt it purposefully to create a masterpiece.

All too soon the golden sunset fires up the horizon. As dusk turns to darkness in my dream-world, the creatures of the night come out to share in its splendour. Wide-eyed owls hoot softly in the trees above as fireflies dance to the rhythm of the rustling leaves, their bodies like glow-sticks drawing patterns in the darkness. Squirrels and field mice scurry playfully around my outstretched body as I lie still so as not to disturb the picture-perfect setting. The full moon, in all its boldness, illuminates my special place almost as if it does not want me to miss a thing as the star-studded sky winks cheerfully down on me.

Someone is calling my name! I take a deep breath and prepare to return to reality. With a heavy heart I know that the time has come to leave. It is only the reassurance of knowing that I can return to my special place at any time, that eases my soul.

This was so sweet and full of depth at the same time. Sorry for this short review but I don't have much to say except for that you describe things very nicely and makes the reader feel the pain. Drop in a request when you need a better review. The link is down in my signature. Dial S.H.U.B.H.I.. Do dial!

Hi DarthKay! Awesome name. I'm here to review.

Well, I think this was awesome! It's extremely original, in my opinion. Your imagery is nicely used, and makes me think of cool things.

The only pointer I have for you is this: I notice that you separate your punctuation marks from the words. Don't do that. Instead, do this:

Hi Darth! (space)How are you? (space)I'm Mr.Knightley, (space)your resident Keira Knigthley freak!

See what I mean? I hope I could help. Keep up the good work!

-Knightley

Thanks Mr Knightley , I'll keep that in mind

This is my first post so wasn't even expecting to get any comments at all... so thank you

Welcome Darthkay to YWS hope your getting along okay. For your first post your composition was good, the imagery was subtle and descriptions creative, your usage of words was powerful. Now that I'm finish with my review I thank you for the read and bid you adieu.

PS: If you have any questions about anything or
want a review PM me or the other fellow
members of YWS.

*grumble, grunmble* Hey Kay, this was really amazing and as soon as the *LIKE* button comes back, I shall click it. I've never written anything with imagery like this. If we could embed music into our work, I'd recommend you do that. I have a few things to say though,

DarthKay wrote: All too soon the golden sunset fires up the horizon.

I'd kick the All too soon part. It feels as if you are ready to bring the piece to an end or else something bad is about to happen. Meh, It's not huge, just stuck out.

Also, I think you might want to put a bit more of yourself into this. You've given us a very beautiful piece but YOU are not in it. That makes it less biased, but if you want to really show yourself to the world, you'd do awesomely with a line of dialog, or a piece of movement on your part. In other words, is this in modern times or not? Is this you, or point of view of a princess long ago? When you leave do you bid farewell to and kiss the birds or pull your hoodie over your head, tuck your hands in your pocket and remorsefully leave? That's IF you want to make this more personal and less open-viewed.

I'm sure this is featured work worthy Really awesome.

Your friend,
TheNewHero

*LIKEY!*

Thanks a lot!

The reason why "I" don't really feature in this piece is because it is supposed to be a descriptive essay (Yes, this was my english homework ) Although, If I were to be in it, I probably wouldn't kiss the birds goodbye (Because of this whole Bird-flu thing going on )

But thank you!
PS, I hope the internal bleeding has stopped

DarthKay wrote:It is often said that true happiness lies within... that is exactly where I go to find my special place. The outside world has an ugly face(no space between word and semicolon); it is damaged and disfigured from the actions of mankind. My inner sanctuary is a place of peace and tranquility, a place where dreams can come true and happiness abounds.

For me that special place is deep within my soul. It’s where I escape to when the unhappiness surrounding me becomes unbearable and threatens to snatch all joy away in it's icy claws. I close my eyes and float away like a butterfly to a magical place. Rows of autumn trees, dressed in bright citrus coloured garments, wave their arms to welcome me. A gentle breeze sweeps across the landscape inviting the leaves to dance as they flutter softly to their bed below. The crunch of the colourful carpet underfoot releases an earthy rich aroma that wafts upwards to awaken my numbed senses. I feel alive and refreshed as I take in the sheer beauty of my special place. I gaze upwards to the heavens and am greeted by a brilliant blueness dotted randomly with white, fluffy wisps. It is as if a great artist has taken a bucket of pastel tones and spilt it purposefully to create a masterpiece.

All too soon the golden sunset fires up the horizon. As dusk turns to darkness in my dream-world, the creatures of the night come out to share in its splendour. Wide-eyed owls hoot softly in the trees above as fireflies dance to the rhythm of the rustling leaves, their bodies like glow-sticks drawing patterns in the darkness. Squirrels and field mice scurry playfully (you had a double space here)around my outstretched body as I lie still so as not to disturb the picture-perfect setting. The full moon, in all it's boldness, illuminates my special place almost as if it does not want me to miss a thing as the star-studded sky winks cheerfully down on me.

Someone is calling my name! I take a deep breath and prepare to return to reality. With a heavy heart I know that the time has come to leave. It is only the reassurance of knowing that I can return to my special place at any time, that eases my soul.

You had a lot of spacing issues. Sometimes there was no space, and then sometimes there was one space too many. You need to be consistant with those.

Other than that...

HOLY CRAP. Words cannot describe how awesome this is.
This felt like it was written by a poet, it is simply that beautiful. I loved your descriptions, and the word usage was perfect. I hope this gets featured.

Awesome.

I fixed it up now so hopefully there are no more problems,
But thanks for pointing that out and thanks for the feedback, much appreciated