Priceless

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She runs through the mud
on the stagnant breeze
that drags the wavering heat,
along with the harsh suffering,
and as she passes the ramshackle huts,
cries of childbirth trickle through
the wooden slats,
each one followed by the
cries of grief and loss
that are delayed only by
months, if you are lucky.

The girl is alone, so alone,
yet she is looked upon with
an anguished jealousy
that glints from the glassy eyes
of a hundred still babies.

In a rich country,
her rarity would be valued in a large echoing hall
where wealthy people would happily bid
a thousand pounds
for an ancient vase,
useless, damaged.

Yet in Mumbai,
where she runs through the slums
like the flowing river of disease,
her life could be compared only with
the precious value
that one clean droplet of
priceless water would bring.­




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Hey Emma Louise! :D

I like the contrast between rich and poor, especially when you state how lonely she is, yet how envied it she is anyway! It really sends a neat message... it kind of reminds me when I go to homeless shelters... I think one person I was with started talking about how money doesn't satisfy, but they just ignored us because they didn't have any money, so they thought if they only did, they would be satisfied with their lives. That's in the USA though... it's probably awfully different in India.

Now, the main thing that is kind of convoluted about this poem are the last two stanzas... I'm not quite clear what you're trying to say. Is she being bid on in a large echoing hall? That's what it seems like now. So right now, that image doesn't quite make sense. The last stanza also doesn't quite make sense...is she bringing water to the people?

So just clear up the meaning of the last two stanzas and it should be really nice. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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Thank you Snoink :)
The stanza in the echoing hall is portraying the contrast between the wealth of various countries; in more developed countries, it is easy for people to pay huge amounts of money in an auction house on something that has no use and can only be observed, such as an old vase, maybe made by a famous artist. Yet in less developed countries, it is highly unlikely to see people own this amount of money, let alone spend it on something with little practicality. However because the vase is a precious antique, I have used it as a comparison to the girl whom, in India, is far more precious than such object and the people of the slums would only ever apply such value to a person. The girl is also as rare as the vase, due to her survival in the slums to an acceptable age.

The final stanza illustrates how in the slums, clean water is just as rare and precious as a surviving child and it also illustrates hope: if this child cold survive disease and infection, surely clean water could one day be easily accessible.

Thank you for your comment, I will try to portray what the last two stanzas are meant to represent in a more understandable way. :)




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Well, having been to India myself, I can certainly see where you are coming from! It is so true, and the harsh reality of it is frightening, and very cliche, if you know what I mean - poverty, death, beggars, no food or water, pollution, heat, homelessness, corruption, overcrowding - all the problems you can possibly get packed into one outwardly-beautiful country. I don't know what to make of it. It's really hard to digest for the average non-Indian, and hard for us NRI's too (non-resident Indians), so we simply turn away from it - just like we turn away from the harsh reality in Africa - or even inthe South American countries, for that matter.

So...my main message to you for the poem is to break it up. Make it easy to digest. Make it more accessible and more tangible by making it more ABSTRACT - I know, such a weird concept - more abstract imagery, more metaphorical reasoning, comaprisons with fundamental human qualities and states we can ALL identify with. By doing so, you will avoid the bluntness and directness that currently is making the poem seem so cliche.

Well done, nevertheless.



It's all a matter of perspective. Everyone is the hero of their own story, and the villain of another's.
— James