Ciao! I liked the simple, but sweet language you wrote this in. I have very few objections, namely the title: it comes across as ironic. Shrill is high–pitch and often has negative connotations, while melodious is lovely to the ear. The title feels especially odd given the poem's content, with these adjectives clashing.
All three lines are nice, with the first one eye–catching due to its unusual syntax. I do have to say that the first one seems out of place, since the latter two are connected by an idea (grab the hand to prevent a fall, as opposed to music/singing). If you could develop the beginning to tie it in more strongly with the end, I think "tone" would strengthen overall.
Really, though, I enjoyed this. Sparse but effective. Keep it up.
–antimelrose
Sabbatical isn't the right word, but it almost is. loves like a hurricane/i am a tree/bending the weight of his wind and mercy/dcb grace finds beauty in everything... makes beauty out of ugly things/U2
the problem with poems this short is that they have to be so carefully constructed, every word has to be perfect--so I applaud your attempt at this daunting form. Of course, if you include any cliches at all, this form is a total failure. So it starts of shaky but it falls flat by the end.
In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one's literary and philosophical principles. — Lemony Snicket
