My End

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Rated for dark themes. This is my first time posting on the site in forever. I hope you guys like it.

My End

The sun shifts its position in the sky, casting little tinges of gold over the placid world below. Leaves flutter to the ground, twirling as they make their way like tiny ballroom dancers. A light breeze picks up and I feel my hair swish up, blowing around me like a halo.
The world spins, leaving me to watch it as it goes. Time flows around, like a visible stream of light; sweeping past in gentle arcs. Everything is changing, all of it deserting me as I stand stationary in the light of the autumn sun.
My mind is full, thoughts jumbling around in an untamable manner. I curse them. How I wish my consciousness could be empty of any and every thought plaguing it. There is no peace to be found in contemplation. There is no mercy for those with too much on their mind. I have learned this first hand over the last two weeks.
In the sky, in the earth, in the waters. I see the gentle lines of his jaw, his eyes, his smile. They are reflected gloriously by anything and everything. He is there, beside me watching the leaves as they fall. He is gone. He laughs with others and lives a life apart from mine.
My fingers twitch. I want to trace him. I want to feel the lines that make him up. This body of mine aches and pleads to be taken in his arms. But just as there is no mercy for those deep in thought, there is no sympathy for those in over their heads. I will find no solace from the golden sun, nor the dancing leaves, nor the stream of time.
I long for him so much it hurts. Tears like dewdrops graze my cheeks as I ponder his perfect smile, his twinkling eyes. He is everywhere, but I am frozen in time, unable to catch him. There is another breeze and, as the autumn leaves fall, so do I.
The jagged edge of the cliff disappears from below me, but I am unafraid. I breathe and am calm. This is the end. He is my end.
Twisted and turned like a funhouse mirror, you're the one who's gone and I'm the one who's here. Thrashing and fighting, trying to destroy me, this is what we could be. I am what you should be.




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Wow, this is excellent. Your writing is extremely descriptive and paints a gorgeous picture in the mind of the reader. It's also elegantly tied together, and your punctuation is exactly where it needs to be, especially the commas. I really love the way you threaded the emotions into the imagery. Overall, very well done!

-Allie
"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
-Thomas Mann




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Wow! Very well done. I love it. Very good descriptions of emotions, it made everything flow neatly together. You did an amazing job with being able to connect with the reader. Anyone can pull images from what you wrote. Very good job! :D

-Z



I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights