Crawl (Scarlett fires comp) [12+ for minor violence]

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Points 9561
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To crawl.
To walk.
To run.
To jump.

I would miss those things. So would she. I didn't mean to. But I can't say it wasn't my fault. I can't expect forgiveness from anyone. Not for this.

The head lights were on full beam making possums stop dead on the road. Four, I thought to myself.
Saylise was in the back seat, holding Korey, our new born son. It would have been his first time home, had I not been such a reckless fool.
"Honey, is everything okay back there?" I asked.
"Um, I don't think so..." she said, unsure.
"What?" I turned to look at her and Korey. The baby was as still as a brick, flushed, and his hands were swollen. I turned my whole body to see Saylise's unsure frown.
Mistake one.
"Baby, it'll be okay, I pro-" I was cut off by the sudden impact.
I swiveled around to see a burgundy Honda Prius crashing into my bonnet. The impact snapped my spinal chord and broke a few ribs. Saylise broke both her legs beyond fixing. The only person to die was Korey. My baby. My beloved shining jewel. Gone.

I can only hope for the pleasure of forgiveness. Dare to believe that she, Saylise, will talk to me again. Maybe someday. But for now, we must crawl our way back to life and love.
Literally whatevr




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Hey Biffle1. I think you have got a talent for writing. Your others post have been rated mostly 16+ and 18+ so I couldn't go through it. I like the story and the concept. I couldn't find many mistakes so good job! you are too young but yo write excellently. Here are some nit-picks:

"Um, I don't think so..." she said, unsure #FF0000 ">uncertainly.


I swiveled around to see a burgundy Honda Prius crashing into my bonnet. The impact snapped my spinal chord and broke a few ribs.

Okay you are going too fast. Just let the pain and suffering be elaborated more.

Keep Writing!!!!!
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore




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Points 2338
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i actually didnt read this; i was scanning the pages for my own story and noticed that you had said a "Honda Prius." um, this is a little awkward, but... the prius is from toyota. sorry.
Hellodilly-odilly, there!
Enjoy your time in cyberspace, creatures of the dark.
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