Chapter 3: Sweet Jesus
“What am I doing?” he yelled back. I trembled with fury as Dillon appeared and started to walk over the seats to reach me. “I got a call from a certain big brother after my game saying that his little sister ran away from home today,” he finished saying. I opened my mouth and realized I had nothing to say. We continued to stare at each other, daring the other to speak. I stomped my foot angrily.
“So what? What are you doing out here so late? You’re supposed to be at home because you have school tomorrow!”
Dillon threw his head back and laughed one cold dark laugh. “I’m actually out looking for you,” he answered. I’m speechless. Maybe because I’m too angry to come up with coherent sentences, confused as to why Dillon would help look for me, or because at the moment I’m one of the happiest people on the planet. Dillon is here, standing in front of me, talking to me.
Unexpectedly, I threw myself at the floor and started crying. I can feel the breakdown coursing through my body. Why did it take so long? And why did it have to happen in front of him? My sobs echoed throughout the entire park, shattering the silence.
“Why would you go looking for me? I’m nothing to you now!” I yelled at Dillon. He stared down at me, unsure of what to do. I don’t blame him; he’s never seen me cry.
“You don’t want anything to do with me! Why are you here? You would rather have me dead than like this!” I screamed.
“You don’t have any idea of what I want!” he yelled back. I stood up and wiped away more tears.
“What do you want then?” I asked. “I was your best friend,” I whispered, “And now you hate me. You absolutely detest me because I’m a Pariah?”
“E, please don’t make it harder than it already is!” Dillon said through his teeth. He threw his hands in the air and shouted. “It just doesn’t work! Kast isn’t meant to be, it isn’t the natural way of life!”
“So I’m not supposed to be here? Is that what you’re saying? That I shouldn’t exist?” I shouted. Dillon turned away from me and ran his hand through his brown hair.
“E, you need to get home,” he said abruptly. I closed my eyes and tried counting to ten. Unfortunately it didn’t work because I only got up to three. He needs to tell me why it’s wrong for me not be here. He needs to tell me what’s wrong with this.
“Not until you tell me why it’s so bad to be a Pariah, to be a part of Kast,” I demanded. He sighed and turned to me. I stood my ground and waited for his answer. Instead, he extended his arm and grabbed me.
“Jesus!” he yelled. We both stared at my arm, wondering what happened. I shocked him. The tingling feeling was still on my arm where he grabbed it.
“Touch me again,” I whispered.
“No, that hurt,” he said with disbelief.
“I thought you were tough,” I said. He rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth.
“I am, but that has nothing to do with you being all magical,” he said, “I can’t do anything against that.” A small pain traveled through my stomach and I grimaced; he’s causing me even more pain now.
“I don’t know how to use magic, retard,” I said, “Just leave me alone, Dillon.” He frowned and crossed his arms. I walked away from him, jumping off the stands to get down. I started towards the playground, my destination: the tube slide.
“Dean needs you,” he said.
“No, he doesn’t!” I snapped, “Nobody needs me. Everybody would be better off if I were dead!” I sat down in the tube slide and stared up at the other end, the sound of Dillon’s footsteps making echoes in the slide as he’s walking over to me.
“Dean needs you and so do other people,” he whispered.
“You know they don’t,” I answered, “I could die and everybody would be happier.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
“No, it’s not!” he exclaimed. I watched his face appear at the other end and he looked down at me, “We have to get you to Dean. He’s worried.” I turned so that I’m lying on my stomach and I started to climb up the tube. Dillon moved out of the way so I could stand as I came to the top.
“Kill me, Dillon,” I said. Dillon stepped back in shock and stared at me, his mouth open.
“No,” he said.
“It’d be easy,” I whispered, reaching for his hand. He didn’t move back as I brought his hand to my neck and left it there. “Just a simple twist and I’m gone. No more disgusting Pariah.” I dropped my hand and was relieved when his hand stayed on my neck. I watched his eyes, closing my own just to have that last image. His hand stayed on me, I can feel our pulses as if they’re one. Hurry, Dillon.
“Dean’s waiting for you,” he said, and his hand disappeared from my neck. I opened my eyes and saw his smirk. Which only made me angry. I turned my back to him and slid down the tube, stomping away from him as soon as I stood.
“Call him then, you asshole, call him now!” I yelled.
* * *
“DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?” Dean continued his lecture. Well, it was more of a shouting contest. My eyes drooped and I shook off the sleepiness. I shifted my weight for the fifth time since I had been sitting in this dumb chair. Our ride home was awfully quiet, so I knew what was coming at the house. Dean drove, Ralph stared out the window from the passenger’s seat, and Dillon and I were seated in the back, trying to get enough distance in between us as we could. It really wasn’t much space, though. The car is so small that during the entire ride if I had moved my hand over half a foot, I probably would have been able to touch Dillon’s.
A hand grabbed my face roughly and made me turn.
“ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?” Dean screamed. I looked behind him at Dillon and Ralph, who were suddenly very busy with looking at the pictures on the wall. Dean has to have an audience.
“What do you think I’m doing?”
Dean let go of my face and turned around.
“WILL YOU PLEASE START ACTING YOUR AGE!?” he growled. How dare he say that? I am acting my age! He’s the one who keeps treating me like a child. I stood up and turned him around.
“I thought I already had! When did I ever stop? And if you haven’t already noticed, I’m a teenager and that means that this is exactly how I’m supposed to act when my best friend leaves me, my childhood friend kisses me, my boyfriend leaves because of that stupid kiss, and my brother is being the worst possible parent on the face of the planet! What am I supposed to do? I had to leave, but then my idiot brother goes and calls my ex best friend and makes him look for me, causing even more problems than there already was!” I screamed so hard that hair flew in front of my face. I started heaving and sat down again, exhausted from working my lungs so much.
Ralph and Dillon stood up, heading for the door.
“I think we should leave--”
“SIT DOWN!” Dean ordered. They both took their seats and stared forward without saying another word. I grabbed onto the couch and took several deep breaths to calm myself down. Ralph had been shooting cautious glances at me all during Dean’s lecture. I can control myself, thank you.
“Esme Ingrid Roe, are you daydreaming again?” Dean asked. I looked up at him and rose from the couch.
“I’m going to sleep, I have school tomorrow,” I muttered. Dean growled at me before he stomped into the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes. I walked over to Ralph and he stood.
“Sorry, I am so sorry,” he apologized. I looked down.
“I’m glad you did it, then I might have killed you today if I hadn’t escaped,” I said. He already has his arms around me and is rocking me.
“Still best buddies?”
“Yup, go home and get some sleep, sorry about that.”
Ralph gave me one last hug and walked to the door. I turned towards Dillon, not sure of what to say. But I didn’t need to say anything; Dillon took advantage of my silence.
“This is because of a boy?” he asked.
“That’s none of your business,” I said sleepily. I swayed and caught myself before I fell forward. “Go home.”
“Whatever,” he said uncertainly. He was about to leave, but my damn body swayed again and I fell forward. I didn’t touch the floor, though. Someone had caught me before my face planted itself into the floor. They picked me up into their arms and carried me through the house. We traveled down the hallway and to my broken door.
Whoever is holding me moved everything off my bed and pulled off the covers before setting me down. I felt so much more comfortable and warm in their arms that the bed seemed cold and stiff without them. My eyes were already closed and I was drifting fast into sleep. I opened my eye a crack and saw that Dillon was the one who had carried me to my bed. Eww, he touched me. I closed my eye again, too tired to even care. He brushed a lock of my hair away from my face and kept his hand on my cheek.
I was on the borderline of sleeping when something brushed softly to my lips. So soft, like satin and silk put together. Dillon? I won’t let myself fall under until he leaves, just give me these last precious moments with him. Dillon’s hand lingered on my cheek for another minute. It felt warm and soft, kind of like what brushed against my lips. I miss you, Dillon. I heard him sigh and leave. I listened to the sound of his retreating footsteps until they died out, then I let myself fall asleep.
* * *
“Have you seen her eyes?”
“Yeah, they were freaky before and now it’s like, whoa!”
“And you can almost see the little loops in between her eyes!”
“I know!”
“I can hear you!” I shouted at Jamie Hernandez and Camille Baxter. They both jumped and started walking away very quickly with their heads together.
“I heard she ran away last night to... feed.” Camille finished saying.
“Still. Within. Hearing. Distance!”
My old friends practically started running down the hallway. They better, my temper is flaring.
Apparently, word has gotten around about yesterday’s events. Why did my high school drama have to start in my sophomore year? That means I have to endure this for two and a half more years! Why holy Jesus? What did I do to deserve this?
I slammed my locker shut and cursed. The bang echoed throughout the hallway, silencing conversations. Everyone stopped in their tracks to stare at me. Now, aren’t I just special? I brought my hand down on the locker door several times before I turned around and glared at whoever was staring at me. It’s weird that I can get them to shut up with only one piercing stare when teachers spend half of the time in the classroom attempting to do just that.
My footsteps echoed loudly as I made my way to my Chemistry class. On normal circumstances, I would be extremely embarrassed with my face completely flushed. But this isn’t under normal circumstances, so it doesn’t apply. I let my feet make however much noise as they could before I entered Mr. Dumonte’s classroom. He noticed my sour mood, but didn’t question me, probably not wanting to deal with any teenage drama.
Students filed into the room and avoided the seat next to me. I purposely sat at the front to avoid the curious and anxious stares from my classmates. The bell rang and I pulled out my notebook.
“Take out your notebooks, we’re taking notes,” Mr. Dumonte said. Everyone in class groaned and pulled out their notebooks. “You need at least five notes from each section and if I see any of you sleeping I won’t hesitate to wake you up,” he threatened. What does he expect? It’s first period! Mr. Dumonte walked over to the TV set, propped in an old VHS into the VCR and pushed Play.
I stared down at my notebook. It’s not even my science notebook. This is U.S. History, which I have next. Running away last night didn’t give me chance to do my homework and I really don’t give a crap about Jamestown and Joint-Stock bladdity-blah-blah we learn in there. But the stupid teacher threatened to send home a work report so I have to bring my grade up to like a C. Isn’t a D still considered passing? I filled in the blank lines with made up answers and stared at my paper. Eighty percent of this grade is having it completed. Absentmindedly, I brought my hand up to my neck and grabbed at nothing. Where’s my necklace? Oh crap. Marissa ripped it off of me when we fought. That ho.
The door opened and everyone turned to look.
A girl with long midnight black hair and a pale face entered the class. She held a few papers in her hands as she walked in at an extremely slow pace. She looked around and stopped when she saw me, then she continued on walking to Mr. Dumonte.
“May I help you?” he asked.
“I’m new here, this is my first class,” she answered.
“Do you have your registration papers with you?”
“Yes,” she said, handing him the papers in her hands, “Here.”
While Mr. Dumonte looked over her papers and signed them, filling in who knows what for her to be enrolled, she turned slightly to the side and stared at me. Not in fear or curiosity, --like everyone else in this school-- but in awe and admiration. It bothered me that she’s doing that. I can barely tell she’s staring at me, but it’s the only explanation because the giant convex mirror next to Mr. D’s desk is showing her reflection and she’s definitely staring at me. I can’t help but think it’s rude. What’s wrong with this chick? Then I realized that her eyes are different than the normal eye. They have barely visible violet sparks spreading out from the pupils and a triangle formed by three dots on the corners.
“Would you please take a seat, um…Violet?” Mr. Dumonte asked her. She turned back to him and smiled, her reflection looking down at the seating chart. The only available seat left is the one next to me. Holy Jesus, this girl is going to do some weird crap, I can feel it.
“Of course,” she said, turning around swiftly and walking over to my desk. She pulled out the chair and sat in it, bringing one of her legs up with her to rest her head on her knee.
“Well, Violet, if you have one, pull out a notebook to take five notes on every section of this video.” Mr. Dumonte smiled at her and turned back to his desk. He shut the lights just as Violet took out a notebook from her small backpack.
Even though I can’t see them, I can feel everyone’s eyes boring into my face. And maybe even Violet’s. She leaned forward and brought her hands up on top of the table to place her head in them. Okay, definitely Violet’s.
I’m going to ignore this. She can’t possibly do anything to me. And just because we’re both Pariahs doesn’t mean we have to instantly connect. No, I’m completely fine.
“What’s your name?” Violet asked. Crap. I turned towards her slightly so Mr. Dumonte can’t tell I’m talking with her.
“Esme,” I said, “And you’re Violet, right?”
“Didn’t you just hear the teacher?” she asked. Okay, she’s sarcastic. That’s good, I guess.
“Yes, I did, which is why I called you Violet,” I said, writing down a couple of fake notes. It’s not like he actually reads them.
“Were you just inaugurated? I don’t think I’ve ever met you before,” she said. Why would she have met me? Is she some important person in the Kast or something?
“I was inaugurated just a few days ago, on Wednesday,” I said. Violet took a few notes. Her handwriting looks like calligraphy.
“Have you used magic before?” she asked. I stared at her for a few seconds. Why does she want to know?
“No,” I said, feeling nervous to my stomach.
“Really?” she asked, “Has something you can’t explain every happened to you and then you just shrugged it off because you didn’t really want to think about it?” Wow, she hit everything that’s happened to me on the spot with that.
“Happens a lot,” I said, “Recently.”
“Ohmigod,” she said, “You are her.” Her expression suddenly became less guarded and attitudish and she seemed to relax.
“Who am I?” I asked.
“You’re going to be amazing,” Violet said, “This is going to be awesome. I can’t wait for school tomorrow. Wait, are you going in the morning or the afternoon?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“To Magiric,” she said. Why does that sound familiar? “You know, the school?” she asked.
“Oh!” I said, “I think I’m going in the morning, why?”
“You’re sticking by me,” she said, “Or, more accurately, I’m sticking with you.”
“What?”
“You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?” she asked, staring at me while her swayed slightly with her. I shook my head and she sighed heavily, writing down some notes as if she already learned the video facts and just needs to write them. I copied her notes and stared back at her as she dug around her backpack for a while. “Well, I don’t have it here. But I want you to join the Exchange with me because you are a very important Pariah and you don’t even know it yet.” I didn’t get to answer my surprise as she continued to tell me more about this Exchange. “You see, at Magiric, there are hundreds of students there because the Lock is constantly putting people in. Most of us graduate and then there’s the ones that die.”
“Die?” I asked.
“Only if they don’t use the magic right and fool around or turn out to be evil,” she said quickly, “Then they have to be killed. Duh.”
“They kill you?” I asked.
“I just explained why,” she said angrily, “Anyway, the Exchange is a group of students that sort of run the school. They are the ones that get turned into the powerful figures in the Kast. I guess you can say it’s a student council or something along those lines. Point is, we need a president. And who better than the only girl who can use magic on instinct?”
“I can use magic on instinct?” I asked.
“This is frustrating,” she said, “The Lock can explain it to you tomorrow when you get there. Let me tell you more about the Exchange, though. First, there are only five members. Me, my twin brother, one of our friends, then we have to have the Lock, and we need one more. The Lock is only in there because he’s responsible for us so he has to make sure we’re not pulling pranks and doing crap behind his back. Which we only do occasionally, so I have no idea why he’s always so worried.”
“Why’s is called the Exchange?” I asked. She stared at me with confusion.
“I forgot, wait, I need to remember.” As she tried to remember, I wrote down some more useless information about Chemistry and filled up my paper. This is easy. No wonder I still have an A in this class. “Okay,” Violet said, “I remember. We called it the Exchange because when we graduate, we exchange our mortality.”
“What?” I asked. She stared at me with frustration.
“The Lock can explain,” she said, grabbing her notebook and putting in her bag, “Anyway, I need to know, what’s your next class?”
“U.S. History,” I answered, tapping my pencil absentmindedly on the table.
“Great, that’s my class, too,” she said. She didn’t even look at her papers to see her schedule.
* * *
For some strange reason, Violet has every class with me, which means she also has lunch with me and has assured me that she’ll be sitting with me. I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence or if someone planned this. Right now, we’re walking over to the lunchroom. She’s chattering about all the different things that we can do together, but I’m not exactly paying any attention. At all. Because standing only ten yards or so from me is Damien. I walked a little faster and then stopped abruptly, pulling Violet back with me. He’s talking with Dillon.
“What’s wro-” I pushed Violet back against the wall and edged closer to Damien and Dillon. Excitement lit up in Violet’s eyes and face, along with a smile so big I had to hide her behind me so she won’t give us away.
“Seriously, I don’t believe you for a second,” Dillon told Damien. I edged closer and hid behind an open door.
“That’s too bad because I’m telling you the complete truth,” Damien mumbled. I turned my head to see through the small slit of window from the door. Damien is standing in a position that is clearly defensive. Dillon is standing across from him with his arms folded and a very disappointed look on his face.
“Are you going to forgive her?”
“I didn’t think I had any other choice,” Damien whispered. Are they talking about me?
“You’re right, you don’t have any other choice, it was a mistake and that’s why she was so upset,” Dillon agreed.
“Is it true then, that she ran away from Dean last night?” Damien asked, a smile creeping up on his face. Dillon didn’t answer immediately. “What?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little private?”
“Tell me what happened to her last night.” Dillon shifted his weight and jammed his hands into his jean pockets.
“Well, all I know is from when Dean called me. He said that she had run away and that she hurt Ralph somehow and had escaped. So he asked me if I could help look for her because she couldn’t have gone that far. I walked around the streets, shouting her name for a while then.
“After about an hour and a half I went into the park, and...um... I, uh, waited, I guess you could say,” he looked away from Damien and started his narration again. “So I was sitting in the park and I thought I heard someone laugh, but I thought nothing of it and instead I just waited again. Then someone called out to me. I tried to leave quietly cause I don’t know what kind of crap there is out at midnight in the park. But then the person said they wouldn’t hurt me and I realized it was her and that made me laugh. She can’t hurt me.” he explained. I had the urge to slam the door and punch him in the stomach just to see what he’d say then, but I kept my calm and turned to see Violet listening intently. “You? Last night?” she mouthed. I nodded and she smiled wider.
“Then what happened?” Damien asked.
“Well, she recognized me. Then she started yelling at me about why I wasn’t in bed and that I needed to go to school the next morning and some crap like that. So I told her very calmly and gently that I was out looking for her and she demanded to know why. She got all crazy and started crying.
“It scared the hell out of me. We started yelling at each other. She needed to get everything off her chest and I think she did. I couldn’t take it anymore and so I grabbed her arm, but she shocked me,” he said, “After that she asked me for something that just, really got me pissed,” he said so low I had to strain my ears to hear.
“What did she ask you?” Damien asked. Dillon looked up and shook his head.
“It isn’t important,” he said. I tried hard to remember exactly what I had asked him. Oh, I remember. I told him to kill me. Wuss wouldn’t even do that.
“Well, what happened next?”
“Um, she asked me to call Dean. I did, he picked us up and took us to her house. Then we stayed while he yelled and lectured her, she yelled at him, too. She told him she was sleepy and he left somewhere in the house.
“Uh, she said bye to Ralph and forgave him, then she told me to leave. But uh, she fell. She was so tired,” he whispered. He broke his contact with Damien and stared behind him. “So I carried her to her room and laid her down,” he took in a shaky breath, “And then I,” he stared at Damien again, “just left.”
“You left? Just like that?” Damien asked. Dillon frowned and crossed his arms.
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Come on, everyone in this town knows you two were sort of a thing your entire lives,” Damien explained, “Do you seriously want me to believe that you didn’t take advantage when you were alone with her for five, maybe even ten, minutes?”
Dillon’s eyes narrowed slightly before he looked back at Damien.
“I’ve had her alone for most of my life and I have never touched her in any way she didn’t want me to during that time,” Dillon growled.
“Not even one kiss?” Damien asked skeptically.
“I have to go to lunch, my girlfriend’s waiting for me,” Dillon scowled and turned to leave.
“That wasn’t an answer,” Violet complained behind me.
...Sweet Jesus.
Both Damien and Dillon turned around to face us, completely shocked. I closed my eyes and brought my hand down on my forehead with a loud smack.
“Oops,” Violet whispered, “I didn’t mean to do that. You know I’m sorry, right?” I scowled at her. “It was an accident! I can’t be quiet for such a long ti--”
“You can shut up now,” I interrupted. She closed her mouth and looked down, obviously ashamed. Dillon raised his eyebrows at the same time Damien looked around to see if anyone else is with us.
“We’ll just be leaving now.” I started walking in the opposite direction from them, pulling Violet along.
“Actually, I’m pretty sure we all have the same lunch, so why don’t you sit with us today?” Dillon asked. I stopped and stared at him. Why on Earth would I do that?
“Sure!” Violet agreed. I turned around slowly, asking myself if it would be better to slap some sense in her or just glare. My answer never came because she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards Dillon. He had a smug smile on his face that made me want to shock Violet just like I had him.
When we started walking, Violet trying to get Damien to talk to her and Dillon smirking next to me, a hand stopped me and pushed me back from Violet and Damien.
“We need to talk,” Dillon said in a very hushed tone. I turned to face him, completely aware that he is way too close to me.
“We already did,” I answered. He rolled his eyes and sighed.
“We didn’t do crap yesterday, we didn’t really talk at all,” he said. I wanted to slap him; he made me shout. But I continued walking, leaving him behind. He caught up to me, pulling on my arm. Only for a second, though. He probably remembered the last time he grabbed me. Instead, he put himself in front of me, blocking my path and stopping me short.
“Are you going to cooperate or not?” he demanded. I shrugged and moved around him towards the cafeteria doors.
Damien pushed the doors open with both of his hands, followed by Violet, Me, then Dillon. I bumped into Violet, which made Dillon bump into me, because Damien had stopped. It didn’t come to me that I could surprise people even more than they already were; then I realized that I was walking in with two more Pariahs and a the quarterback.
A symphony of gasps erupted all over the cafeteria, followed by complete silence. It seems like they’re all holding their breath. Chelsea hadn’t made this much trouble after her inauguration.
Damien turned back to us, motioning for me to go forward first. I groaned quietly and walked towards the middle table. Eyes followed me, my footsteps and heart making the only noise. I heard two different sets of footsteps following me, then a third.
Once I reached the table, I slid into the black seat, put down my bag, and waited for the rest to come with me. Violet sat next to me and both Damien and Dillon sat across from us, just as embarrassed by the scene we’re making.
Somebody’s loud footsteps pounded the floor, coming towards us. I didn’t bother to look up, I know who it is.
“If I see anyone staring at this table I’ll turn both of these girls on you,” Ralph announced. I could only look down to hide my face. Thank you, Holy Jesus. Ralph took his seat on my other side, kissing me on the cheek and turning to Damien.
“Well, what took you guys so long?” Ralph asked. He turned to Dillon, “Marissa is the craziest person I have ever met.” That must be torture, having to sit at the football table, right next to the cheerleader table.
“Um, Roe,” Dillon said, “Would you mind coming to this side of the table?” I stood up, immediately aware of thousands of eyes following me, and moved over to the other end of the table. Dillon moved over a seat so that he was seated directly across from me.
“What exactly is there to say?” I asked, bringing my hands up on the gray tabletop.
Dillon ran his hand through his hair, smoothing back the longer strands on his head.
“There might be a way for our relationship to work,” he explained. Time for the first point of notice.
“Stop right there. It isn’t a relationship, it’s our friendship,” I corrected. He furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. “Go on.”
“I heard the Pak is coming up with a way to turn Pariahs,” he hissed, “back into humans, the way it’s supposed to be.” Second point of notice. The Pak, the People Against Kast. Oh, it’s such a brilliant name! I thought sarcastically. They’re horrible people, always trying to prove that Pariah’s are bad and evil and that’s not even true. But Dillon absolutely loves them, he was always talking about who great they are and how wonderful it is to get rid of the Kast.
“What if I don’t want to be turned back?” I asked.
“What? No!” Dillon argued. “No! You have to turn back! I won’t have you like this!”
“Whoa! Who said that you could have me? I don’t belong to anybody!” I retorted.
“We belong to each other!” he shouted. “It’s always been like that! You and me, together forever!” I winced at our old motto, but it only made me angrier he was so determined to change me.
“That’s what it used to be, Dillon! There’s always a before and after! Stop holding on to the before; we’re already too deep in the hell that is the after!” Dillon stood up, knocking his chair back to the floor.
“It doesn’t have to be that way!” he said, leaning over the table so he’s practically hovering over me, “We’re meant to be together. But we can’t when you’re a...a...”
“A what? A Pariah? Something so detestable that you and so many others absolutely detest it? Something so wrong it triggered some stupid idiotic spark in your brain to break off a friendship of eleven years?” I screeched.
“Look at you! You’re a completely different person!” he shouted. I stood up and screamed, ripping through two octaves.
“NO! I’M! NOT! I just know the difference between right and wrong and what I am is NOT WRONG! I will not change for you or anybody else in this damn world!”
“You can save our friendship if you did!” Dillon yelled. I closed my eyes, fearing tears of anger would rise up.
“This is about us, Dillon,” I whispered, “Don’t make it about me. Our friendship is dying. Did you know friendships work in phases? Ours has already gone through all of them and then some.”
Silence.
“E?” Dillon’s strained voice asked.
Whatever you do, do not open your eyes, Esme.
“E, please?” Dillon asked.
“What?”
“Will you open your eyes, please?”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” I opened my eyes. Dillon is standing barely two feet away from me.
“You better step back before I hurt you.” He ignored my warning.
“Did you just say our friendship is over?”
“It is, we’re too different to be friends,” I whispered.
“All you have to do is change,” he pleaded.
“No, I love being part of Kast.” Dillon’s eyes darkened.
“YOU ASKED ME TO KILL YOU! JUST LAST NIGHT YOU TOLD ME YOU’D RATHER BE DEAD!” he roared.
“Only because that’s what you want!” I snapped. “I’m better off dead than a Pariah in your mind!”
“What we have between us is never supposed to end! That’s why I don’t want you dead!” Dillon shouted.
“But it’s over,” I said desperately.
“It doesn’t have to be!” he shouted.
“Why don’t you understand?” Tears brimmed over. “Don’t say anything else!”
“E, we’re not supposed to come apart!” he continued. “You and me, together forever,” he repeated.
“UGH!” I screamed. I brought my hand down on the table. The table cracked. Dillon walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders. I tried to push him away, but he kept his grip.
“E, I need you in my life,” he whispered. His hands moved up to my face. “Please?”
“That’s impossible with the way you are,” I answered back angrily, my tears burning on my face.
“No, E! It is possible. I need you in my life,” he whispered.
“Why?!” I shouted, staring straight into his eyes. He relaxed them and stared down at me. He bit his lip and gulped before he brought his hands down to my shoulders.
“Because I love you,” he whispered. “I want you in my life as you, as my wife, my best friend, my partner. I want you in my life as mine!”
Did anybody else hear that? Holy Jesus. This can’t possibly be happening. No. Now my life is completely ruined. I started sobbing. “Dillon, no,” I said. He pulled my face barely an inch from his.
“It was the plan,” he whispered.
“What plan?” I asked.
“Break it with Marissa, go to Formal with you, and tell you I loved you,” he said. I didn’t respond. “Kiss me.”
“What?” I looked up into his face.
“Just one kiss,” he pleaded, his eyes burning. Oh, God, this has to be a mistake.
“I can’t,” I said. He stared down at me with hurt eyes.
“Please?” he whispered. I stared at him and he lowered his voice even more. “Just one.”
I pushed myself up on my toes and kissed him.
On the cheek.
A/N: I'm sorry to say that I don't feel secure with having my work just so out in the open so I'm not going to post anymore of my novel on YWS. If you want to read it, PM me and I might send it to you, chapter by chapter in email, but other than that, no more of Souls to Kiss will be on YWS.
