Last edited by fhwdf on Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What if, doctor, we need these knots and these tangles because they're the only things holding our souls down - and if we untied the knots and untangled the tangles and stretched them out ... would our souls just float away?" ~Luke Kennard, A Practical Course in Entry Level Expressionism
I think it's fine. The only thing I would work on is to be more descriptive about your characters and their surroundings. It would help the mental image and probably get you a better grade if you turned it in as your play. But I like it so far. Good job, keep it up! Waiting for the second part if you write one. :3
And I vow oath to this creed and all who are within it, to protect and value them all. -Altorian Guard Recruit Ceremony
