RED

"Hurry up, we're late for class" said Kevin as Jenna was rushing and packing to go inside. "Alright, alright I'm coming" replied Jenna. Kevin as you see is with Jenna since they were 5Th grade they had been best friends since 5Th grade too. Jenna, and Kevin are both in the same classes now they are at 8Th grade. Jenna's worst fear is BLOOD, if something that's red and squishy she would think it as blood and that's her worst color!

As soon as Jenna got into class, Rosie tricked Jenna by putting lots of red on Jenna's desk, and...
Jenna screamed and went to the toilet to calm down. Jenna hate Rosie. Rosie is Jenna's top number 1 best enemy! Since 5th grade. Rosie knew that Jenna is scared of red and bloods and stuff. Kevin ran with Jenna and stopped Jenna from running. "What's with the rush? Are you sick?" Kevin asked. "No!" replied Jenna with such disgust..."I'm totally disgust with what I saw" "What is it?" asked Kevin, "red" Replied Jenna.

"I am okay," Jenna continued. Kevin heard their teacher, Mrs.Skywalker saying "Kevin, it's none of your problem, let Jenna calm herself down" "But.." Kevin said "No buts, just leave her alone for a while" Mrs.Skywalker interrupt. "Bye" said Kevin as he walk trough the hall and was saying to Jenna. Jenna nod and sat at the corner of the hallway,Why do I have to fall on those dirty tricks of Rosie's? thought Jenna in her mind.

Jenna went back to her whatever class does she has, and everyone was not in! Everyone was outside with the hospital van! She asked Kevin what has happened "What happened Kevin?" Asked Jenna. "Its..it's..Mrs.Skywalker... She got murdered by somebody, and there's blood all over her body you better don't watch, or else you'll vomit somewhere. Jenna ignored the demand and look at Mrs.Skywalker, Kevin was right. Mrs.Skywalker was covered with blood and everyone couldn't see where her face had gone! Jenna said in an awkward way "I think I'm gonna faint now" Before everyone can look Jenna's face turned DARK RED and she had faint... Kevin tried to wake up Jenna but it was no use, calling the doctor no use, calling somebody else No use... Kevin whisper to Jenna's ear "we'll die together Jenna, don't worry" Rosie came in a hurry with blankness on her face "What happened?" "This is YOU,Rosie stop acting like a drama queen!" Kevin shouted as loud as possible. Rosie took a step back, and Kevin took the same size step as Rosie except forward. Rosie took a deep breath and clear her throat "well, how do you know?" Kevin's face went RED, the same as Jenna's and was now taking his knife out of his pocket and hold it at Rosie's cheek, "Tell me what you did!" Kevin looked at Rosie's eyes, and Rosie was frightened on Kevin's anger! "uhh..."

"No uhhs... Rosie I know and I'm about to tell the whole school what you did Rosie" Kevin interrupt Rosie, "what?!?" "Truth or DARE" Kevin asked "we're not playing those ba..." "Stop commenting!" Kevin screamed. "Dare" replied Rosie with frightenedness inside her heart. Everyone was now sweating and going back a few steps. Kevin crack his neck and finally said "I dare you to tell me WHAT HAS GOING ON IF YOU DONT, this knife will kill you! Right now!"
Rosie was now sweating heavily. Rosie finally said "I killed Mrs.Skywalker,because i was jealous between YOU Kevin and Jenna! You always hang out with her and not the others! and i want to scare Jenna and run away from this school so that You and me could have time together! RED stands for BLOOD..." Kevin is now very RED like dark dark red. So you killed Jenna and Mrs.Skywalker COZ OF ME?!?!?!?! Are you crazy?" The principal of the school had heard of what's happening and took Rosie on her hands and said "You're suspended out of this school and is now not accepted to go to this school anymore, do you think it's acceptable to kill a teacher just because of a boy?" Rosie said with tears on her eyes "I'm sorry" And Rosie wasn't aloud to go anywhere for 5 years and she isn't alour to go to school for about 2 years but she went to a school where kids who has bad habits and attitudes goes.

Kevin saw Jenna was awake now with white face not RED, "What happened?" Asked Jenna, "it's over now, Jenna do not worry" replied Kevin with a smile. Soon Jenna lived happily ever after!


The END!

Hey Anuha! Welcome to YWS! Feel free to PM me if you need anything.

Here are some simple rules for dialogue.
1) At the end of the dialogue, before the "he said" part, you need to put a comma. For example:

"Hurry up, we're late for class#FF0000 ">," said Kevin

2) Try to make the dialogue as real as possible. Here, the character would be more likely to say "I'm" than "I am."

"I am okay," Jenna continued.

3) Do not use weird words that do not make any sense in replacement of "said." Here is an example of where you do that:

"I am okay," Jenna continued.

4) After each person speaks, you need to start a new paragraph. Here, I showed you how to do so:

Jenna went back to her whatever class does she has, and everyone was not in! Everyone was outside with the hospital van! She asked Kevin what has happened
#FF0000 ">NEW PARAGRAPH "What happened Kevin?" Asked Jenna.
#FF0000 ">NEW PARAGRAPH"Its..it's..Mrs.Skywalker... She got murdered by somebody, and there's blood all over her body you better don't watch, or else you'll vomit somewhere.
#FF0000 ">NEW PARAGRAPHJenna ignored the demand and look#FF0000 ">ED/b] at Mrs.Skywalker#FF0000 ">[b].Kevin was right. Mrs.Skywalker was covered with blood and everyone couldn't see where her face had gone!
#FF0000 ">NEW PARAGRAPHJenna said in an awkward way "I think I'm gonna faint now#FF0000 ">."

When you have thoughts, the thoughts must be italicized: (in this example, I took out the "in her mind" because it was stating the obvious)

Why do I have to fall on those dirty tricks of Rosie's? thought Jennain her mind.

Names starting with "Mr." or "Mrs." have a space between the title and the name. For example, you constantly said "Ms.Skywalker," and there should be a space there.

When you are saying what grade the person is in, you should spell out the number. For example, you often say "8Th," which should be "eighth." (Also, when you are simply writing the numbers like that, you don't need to capitalize the letters, ie: "8th"

I don't know what your intention was with this, but I'm assuming that you aren't taking this writing seriously at all. In the future, it is more fun for everyone on the website if you only post serious work. Thanks
If this is serious, then you really need to proofread and perfect your work before it goes on here. This piece is full of spelling errors, grammatical errors, and especially verb tense errors. And everything from the title to the name of the teacher is just dumb. And the plot. I understand that you are ten years old, but you should be taking this more seriously.

Keep writing,
Lena

PS: technically, you are too young to even be a member on this site....

ooooh hahaha!!! Well i like writing stories and im trying my best!!!

Hi Ahuha,
WELCOME TO YWS !!!!!!!!
#BF4080 ">I like your passion for writing. Even though Lena is right that you are too young to be a member of this site but talent sees no age and you are good for your age. There wer couple of errors in the story but over-all it was entertaining. Try making this story a script so that more people read it.I just thought tha a girl killing a school teacher who is just an eight grader seems unusual but gal this is your story. You can create anything. Keep up and PM me when you come up with something else !!!