A Ray of Hope
I wanna ask you one question. Only one. Who do you share your deepest secrets with? Mom? Dad?Best friend? But what if they all are far from your reach? Is it everytime possible to keep everything to yourself ? If you know the answer then please email it to me at any of these two e-mail id's:
• melanie4u@gmail.com (temporary,I guess)
• jemmydbest@hotmail.com
It all started ten months ago when dad received that 'SPECIAL' letter which commanded him to pay back to his country.'Pay back the country for the priviledges and oppurtunities she has provided you,' it read.The letter tore me apart and was the cause of all the problems that I was facing now.
I went to my parents' room.Everything was there.Their bed,mom's dressing table,dad's little almirah where god knows what was kept.But they all were covered with the same white sheet that was ruling over every other furniture.I went to mom's almirah and uncovered it.I opened it(it didn't need any key as nothing of much value was kept there)and took out the letter which had American government stamp.I read it and started crying.Don't howl,I said to myself.I had to avoid anyone knowing that I am here.
"Dad,you should quit army.Going to Iraq is irrational and not safe,"I told him the day he received this pathetic letter.
He was driving his car with mom on his side and I was sitting at the back.
"Stop it,Jemima.We have gone over it a lot of times before.He is going there what may happen.Is that clear?"mom shouted at me.
I sulked and remained silent.But dad brought up this topic once again.
"I knew this would happen.Didn't I tell you before?"he asked me.
"Yes, you told us about your transfer in Iraq but I thought it was not going to happen so soon,"I replied.
"Honey,I am going there and I'll be back in six months,"he tried to cheer me up.But only a resignation letter could make me happy.
"What do you mean you'll go alone ?What are we supposed to do here?"mom was angry.
"Wait till I come back.I think that's not tough,"he smiled but no one wanted to see that.
"No way.We are also going with you to Iraq,"she said.
"Who takes their family to a war-struck place? I am not going for a holiday,"he said.
"No way,"she again repeated.
"Yes way,"he was miffled.
I found my chance here.I said,"Dad,mom is right.We all should live together as a family."
"Don't poke your nose.You be quiet.I want to be there in Iraq.That's it.Either you take us or don't go,"mom offerred.
"Don't talk nonsense,Martha.Nothing you said is possible,"dad was really annoyed now.
"I am talking absolute sense.You only don't get my point,"mom said.
I shut my ears wiith my earphones and started listening to a new song.This was where I found my refuge when mom and dad used to fight with each other.
I took a quick look at my parents photo hung at one of the walls and then again walked down the memory lane.How happy and serene they looked there with mom with her long blonde curls and dad with clean navy cut.But how are they now? was the question troubling me.
"Are you serious ?"Melanie asked me the next day at school after dad received the letter.
"Yes I am.My parents have gone crazy.Mom has finally convinced dad to take us there if government allows.This will devastate me,"I said taking the last sip from my soda.
" It's just for six months.Then you'll be back here with us,"she also tried to cheer me up but in vain.
"You are right but during these six months we have crucial assignments which are essential for me to get in Harvard.Do you understand?"I said putting my fist on table.
"I know what they expect for at Harvard.My dad keeps on leturing on this topic,"Kara was disgusted.
"So then what ? Tell your parents about the situation and they'll understand.You can stay with me here while they both go.That would be so much fun,"Melanie suggested.
"The idea is not bad but my parents would never agree to it.They would never let me out of their sight,"I said.
"Then you have to go with them and forget about admission in Harvard,"Kara snubbed.
"Kara is right.They don't leave me with other option so I'll have to opt this one,"I sadly put my head down.
"You can't accept defeat so easily. We'll figure out something.Let me talk to them as I have a right.They can't separate me from my best friend,"Melanie smiled.
Melanie, looked the same that I look now.She was tall,slim and extremely beautiful.And I was a blonde with medium height and okay-okay face.Actually others liked it but I admired Mel's.I now finally had it but this wasn't making me happy.
That morning I walked to my home as my car had gone for repairing.When I reached the house,mom was baking her special honey cookies.
"Mom,what's the occassion?"I sadly asked.
"This is for Iraq.We'll have it over there,"she announced.
"Iraq? So everything is fixed? Are we really going there? "I kept my bag at the sofa.
"Yes, we are going there in another three weeks.Dad just went to the headquarters and they have sanctioned him the letter,"she said.Now this was getting on my nerves.Here I was crying my eyes for not going there but she was celebrating going there.Why was she acting so strangely? Is she really my mom or some alien species has come inside her.
"Mom,may I ask something?"
"Yes.Why not?"
"Why are you so excited about all this.Like going to Iraq.I don't find anything exciting in this.We are not going for a holiday,"I barked.
"Lower your tune.I am thrilled.Do you have a problem?"she asked.
"Yes,I have a problem.It's like I don't exist,like my opinion doesn't matter any longer to you.You are just concerned about yourself.It's looking as if we are going there for picnic.Have you gone insane?"I said what I should not have.
"Why are you making such a fuss about it? We are just going there for six months.We'll be back.Why are you making us sound like criminals?"she now looked concerned.
"This is because in these six months I have special assignments necessary for Harvard or any other good university for that matter.Besides,I don't want to get involved in the violence.You know I hate it.Seeing people surrounded with blood for no fault of theirs.It's disgusting," I was now crying.
Mom looked really sorry for ignoring me so much and came to me.
"I am really sorry for all this.I am such a bad mother,"she hugged me and started pecking me on my cheeks.
"It's okay," I replied as to avoid troubling her.I had already said so much.
"No it's not okay.Do you want to stay here?Then we both won't go there.Let dad go alone.We'll enjoy here,"she said.
"That's all okay but tell me why were you so excited about all this?"I couldn't stop asking.
"Me?"she started dreaming something.
"Mom?" I brought her out from the reverie.
"Sorry, Jemima.I was a jounalist but after you were born I couldn't continue it.It's not that I regret it but after hearing all those reports from Iraq,I wanted to do something.go there and report live.Tell people of the misery the war brings.That just excited me,"she said.
I felt sorry but for but that was nothing in front of the happiness I was feeling for being spared to go to Iraq.Now I could do my assignments,be here with Mel and enjoy everything.
"Thank you mom.You are really the best mother in world,"I hugged.But the happiness was very short.
That night while we were having dinner and watching news we saw the news.Three American army men had been found dead in a gutter in Iraq.The suspicions were on the locals living there.
"This has yet been a very cruel attack on Americans.All Iraqis are trying to ruin us," the news reporter said.
I looked at dad.He was busy looking at other headlines while mom was crying.
'Mom?Why are you crying?"I asked.
"I am such a fool," she said while glaring at the TV screen.
"Fool? Why,Martha?"dad lft his plate on one side.
"I was letting you go alone,Peter.That' why I am a fool.Had there family accompanied them, they wouldv'e been alive now and would have been having lunch with their families,"she sobbed wiping her tears with her brown skirt.
"How can family save someone's life? You are talking total nonsense these days,Martha,"dad said to her.
"I have decided," she was not listening to dad.
"What ? We decided that I am going alone there and you both will stay here,"dad tried to remind her.
"I know everything.I have not forgot anything,Peter.We both will be staying here andso will you.You leave your job.You'll definitely find something here.I can afford being poor but not losing you,"she was determined.
This was exactly the thing I had been worrying about.About losing my father.I started crying too and dad must be considering an emotional blackmail.
"I am not going to do it.I understabd you both but you don't understand me.If I leave the army then I'll be called a coward which I am not,"he too was determined.
"Dad please.We can't afford losing you.People will say something for sometime and then will forget it.We'll shift to another place," I pleaded.
"That's certainly impossible.You can't stop people from saying something.Besides,I have some duties towards my country.I am a patriot," he said.
Mom was quivering with fear of losing her husband in a futile war.In wanted to go to her and comnsole her but I rather preferred convincing dad.
"Then what about your family? Is country more imoprtant than both of us?"
"Maybe yes,"he sternly replied and that was the end of the conversation.
That night I called Melanie before sleping.
"What's the matter,sweety?Calling so late?"she asked in her pleasing,sweet voice.She didn't know nwhat I was going through.
"I was just not feeling well so just called you up.Are you free?"
"I am always free for a chat.Let's talk online,"she suggested.
"Now? Okay.As it is, tomorrow is Sunday,"I said.,
"Okay then we'll chat after ten minutes,"she said and hung the phone.
I went down for drinking water.Mom and dad were talking to each other in whispers so that I couldn't hear them.
After ten minutes, I was chatting with Melanie.
She typed: Why so upset,Jem?
I replied back:Iraq.It's the biggest problem in my life right now.
What happened?she asked.
Jem: Mom agreed that we won't go and only dad will but now she's again going mad.
Mel:Why?
Jem: She saw a news report about three of our armymen found dead.
Mel:SO then? Was she crying?
Jem:She literally broke down.
Mel:So what next?What does she say?
Jem: Mom? She wants dad either to take us there or leave the job at army.
Mel: What has your dad decided ? Is he taking you there?
Jem: Nothing is fixed yet.They are discussing something.Maybe they'll tell me their decision tomorrow morning.
Mel: If they are going to Iraq then I have an idea.
Jem:Tell me.
Mel:Leave it.It's not worth listening.
Jem:But I want to.
Mel: Okay,I'll tell you but please try to stop your laughtern after you listen it.
Jem:Promise.
Mel:You should try soul exchanging therapy.It really works.
Jem:Have you been taking the medicines again?
Mel:No I have stopped taking them.BUt why do you ask????
Jem:Because you are talking nonsense.
Mel: I knew you would hate the idea.
Jem:No,no,no.It's just unconventional.
Mel: Look it this way.If we both exchange our souls then you can continue school here and I would be able to get some time away from my parents.They are really figting a lot these days.
Jem: Bad idea.I think I will go o sleep.
Mel: Think about it,Jemima.This will just be for six months then we'll be back to our normal routine.
Jem:Now I really hate this idea.BYE!!!!! Take a good sleep,you really need it.
Mel:Make fun.
Jem:BYE again.
Mel: We can give it a try.
Jem: Shut up and go off to sleep.