amazing girl

i talk to her,she talks to me
i like this girl,as you can see
we laugh all day,and talk all night
this girl is filled,with beams of light

she make me smile,at her sight
this girl is gorgeous,and packed with joy
i wonder if I'm,the right boy?
I'm very lucky,to have this girl

I'll never let her go,a swear of will
this girl is great,she is my fate
if i could describe her,in one word
I'd tell her,she was amazing

Kilo

Hi! This was poem was pretty good, but I have two minor things.

-Firstly, you should probably remove your full name from the post. There can be some weird pedophiles on here that will track you down if you aren't careful.

-Proofread your work before you post. Whenever you have a comma, there should be a space before the next word. Also, you probably shouldn't have smiley faces in your work. Although they are cute, it makes you seem like an amateur.

Otherwise, good job! PM me if you have any questions, okay?

-Elinor

Awh, Ellie, you beat me to him! *Kilo... she's no fun *

Haha... Love you Ellie <3

Okay, Kilo, first off, I would like to tell you that whoever this is about she's got to be pretty lucky. Nice job.

I have already torn apart one of your pieces tonight, so I'll cut you some slack. Just work on spaces (those are necessary to have an actual word) and line breaks. Make sure that you know when to have a comma in the middle of your line and when not to. Good job on the stanzas, though, they were nicely fit.

I loves the poem! It's fitting, but like Ellie said, smiley faces & names are no-no's. Instead, use your nickname and have the smiley next to it.

Love,
Fixed


(see, I used mah nickname. I loves me some nicknames. they taste good. *nom, nom*)