Specials - Prologue

This story idea has been inside my head all week. I understand it is short. Hopefully you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please utterly devour my piece.

Thanks,

~DayDreams

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For the past 500 years the specials have lived excluded from the humans within their underground cities. When the special’s genes were first discovered inside the DNA of the humans the world was thrown into chaos. The ruling forces of the world decided those who were infected must be isolated. Top scientists were sent to create a paradise for these people within the earth’s mantle. Completion of the project was declared on the eve of Christmas in the year 2319.
Those who were infected usually became scarred at their new found abilities and began to wreck havoc on the world. By the time the city was completed the estimated population of infected was 1,312. Each was captured and sent to the paradise created by the humans. At first the specials ran ramped, but soon calmed without the fright of seeing their old forms and being hunted by officials. The specials truly were happy within their paradise.
Using the best technology and craftsmanship of the time the city was built over 20,000 sq. miles. To keep them from burning up the scientists had installed a resistance shields surrounding the city. The city featured a sky that was almost identical to the real thing, grass that felt and grew just the same, and water. Rising from the ground everywhere were skyscrapers of the latest design and shopping complexes. Each completely furnished with devices from the world above. Humans gave this identical environment as well as all the modern technology and frills to the specials hoping they would never have a desire to leave their world.
Time passed quickly and the specials became used to their new home. All of the original one-thousand citizens took up home in the largest sky scraper in the city and titled it Olympus after the home of the greek gods. The population grew, and as the centuries past the inhabitants expanded to the neighboring skyscrapers. To occupy their time traditions, holidays and sports were created. Among these the most famous was a sport called Ravage.
Gaining popularity rapidly it soon became the most watched and broadcasted television show. It was divided into multiple divisions each with a certain number of players on a team. The sport involved each special being put into an arena with one ancient weapon of their choice. Environments in the arena could be changed instantly by The Host, one of the original one thousand victims, whose curse during the infection had been immortality. The only rules for Ravage are fight to the death and anything goes. It may seem strange that this game would catch on so fast, but the specials always had an unconquerable desire to do something risky. It was in there nature, their very blood.
This world created by regular humans to protect the world was and is the home of the specials to this day. The city now holds a population of just over one million with those of higher blood or greater skill living closer to Olympus. Ravage continues to capture the attention of everyone throughout the city. Great warriors have risen to be the hero of the city only to be obliterated by the next hero. This is the history of the city named Earth and its inhabitants.

I have to say....WOW.....I am shocked at how amazing this is. I only just understood the whole story thing, well at least I think I did. I had originally written a 3 paragraph review on this, then I noticed CITY NAMED EARTH and I noticed the resemblence between the Ancient Greeks fights in the Colesium(sp?) and "Ravage"; and the obvious one of Olypus. I feel incredibly dumb right now. Your going far with this. WOW! I just figured this out. Stuff like this makes you re-read the entire thing, in light of the new perspective, I have been told I did that in my poem Monster (If you could read and Review I would appreciate it). Keep Writing and you'll be going up the fame ladder on this website FAST!


Read, Write, Peace

~Jasmine~

Oooooo that was awesome! I can't wait to read the chapters. I like stories about arena's and death fights. So yeah I can't wait till you start typing and I promise I will be one of the first ones to read it! Hahaha good job by the way it is awesome!

Hey Day dream,
your comment made me happy. Don't know what reviews you read of mine but I'm glad they pleased you.
Your idea is fabulous. Usually when people post these things you read it and think "Yeah... so what?" Because they have neat idea, or one character, and nothing else. But yours had big ideas, little details, over riding themes and parallels...
I'd say as far as story ideas go, this one is pretty fabulous.
I'm sure you realize that, if you write this out, this part won't be your prologue.
Also, Specials brings to mind that series about pretties and uglies, which I thoroughly despise. I like the title A City Called Earth, though titles are really irrelevant.
Besides that, all I have to say is what are you waiting for? Write it and let me review it, please.

PLEASE keep writing
Empress of the Universe

Thanks for the comments guys! Now here is a reply to you all

@Jasmine: I will go try and review your poetry although it is not my strong point.

@Daisy: I'm glad that you enjoyed, but what I have planned for this story differs completely from just arena fights. Although the arena is a big part of the book/story early something else soon takes its place.

@Empress: Firstly naming the city earth was really irrelevant, but I really wanted to post last night and couldn't think of a decent conclusion. This will not be used as the first chapter. This was sort of a history, the actual date now is somewhere around 2800. I tried to express the history feel in the first paragraph. Don't worry about what date it actually is because I have a plan to easily express that in chapter 1 or 2.

@Everyone: Hopefully I will be able to present you all with the first chapter introducing the main character and the world a bit more. Although I did present a vague description of the world it is nothing like the information dump I resisted from typing. Slowly I shall try to include more and more details.

EDIT: I didn't want to post again because that is obnoxious, but I thought it would be necessary to tell you all that I am currently 1/4 of the way done the first chapter. I am expecting it to be finished on Monday.

Hello Daydreams,
This piece is pretty good, but I noticed a lot of similarities to Scott Westerfeld's Uglies series. It also kind of reminded me of the Matrix somewhat. You did a good job at your prologue -- the short, choppy sentences really did have something of a history-text-book feel.

Those who were infected usually became scarred at their new found abilities and began to wreck havoc on the world.

Shouldn't it be "scared" as in frightened, instead of "scarred" as in marked? And if you were going to use scarred, which in my idea would be something of a stretch, you should probably rewrite it as "scarred by".
Also, "wreck" should be written "wreak", as that is the proper way to use the phrase.

largest sky scraper in the city and titled it Olympus after the home of the greek gods

"Sky scraper" should be "skyscraper" and "greek" should be capitalized "Greek".

Other than that, I haven't come across any nit-picky errors. Keep it up, you really have talent!

Sincerely,
S.S. Rose

S.S. Rose wrote:Hello Daydreams,
This piece is pretty good, but I noticed a lot of similarities to Scott Westerfeld's Uglies series. It also kind of reminded me of the Matrix somewhat. You did a good job at your prologue -- the short, choppy sentences really did have something of a history-text-book feel.

Those who were infected usually became scarred at their new found abilities and began to wreck havoc on the world.

Shouldn't it be "scared" as in frightened, instead of "scarred" as in marked? And if you were going to use scarred, which in my idea would be something of a stretch, you should probably rewrite it as "scarred by".
Also, "wreck" should be written "wreak", as that is the proper way to use the phrase.

largest sky scraper in the city and titled it Olympus after the home of the greek gods

"Sky scraper" should be "skyscraper" and "greek" should be capitalized "Greek".

Other than that, I haven't come across any nit-picky errors. Keep it up, you really have talent!

Sincerely,
S.S. Rose

Thanks a lot you are correct on all the grammatical mistakes. Greek came up as wrong in Microsoft word, but I thought it was correct lower case and I ignored it. Scarred should be scared. I appreciate the edits because I knew their had to be some. It kind of makes me wary that you all say I have talent because I always thought of myself as a good writer, but for it to actually be true would be a gift from God.

As for similarities to the Uglies trilogy if you did find some. This story is much different characters have "super powers" as it were. They do not surgically get these powers. I can tell the relation in the paradise aspect because it does seem technologically advanced. If I and you as a reader stick with this story it will involve much more than the city of Earth if you understand my meaning. *hint*

I thought that this was a very good idea. What I felt lacked though was a narrator. It seemed to me like you were explaining an idea – a good one – but just an idea. There wasn't any story, or main character. As a prologue it's supposed to intrigue the reader into reading more. Maybe you could add some foreshadowing, give hints for the story line. All in all, it seems interesting.
Keep writing! Ofir

Hey Dreams! Sorry this is a little late.

Mistake:

It was in there their nature, their very blood.

Overall:

So, this seems like a neat idea. It seems like a very good idea, actually. But I do have a problem with this prologue. At the moment, it feels like a little bit of an info dump. Now, I'm not the greatest fan of prologues anyway, but this one doesn't seem to be part of the story at all. It's just a history of the place. It's nice to know what the whole thing is about, but it feels like too much information in one fell swoop, you know? It was a little too much.

I mean, all you really need in there is the information about the games. So, perhaps you could use that in the prologue, perhaps from the point of view of someone speaking about the history of the games. The rest of the information could be added in throughout the story. It's pretty easy to incorporate. But I'm just throwing out a suggestion!

Hope this helped!

~Amy

Thanks aqua!

Sadly the games are not the main topic though...