Ode to the Gambler (Victory)

Who else can say
they've left it all to chance
and won it all in the end?

Who else can say
they could fight fear head on
without a care in the world?

Who else can say
their impulse is perfect,
and there's nothing in the world
that can prove them wrong?

Who else can say
they can give birth to victory
painlessly and joyfully
with everything they toss
and everything they drop?

Who else can say
dreams are made in silence
and in speedy decisions,
and each leads to another
and then another again?

Who else can say
you can win or lose
while on top of the world,
no matter how crazy your chances could be?

Who else can say
they lost gracefully
by fighting 'till the end?

Who else can say
victory is their business,
and they love their job more every day?

Hey Howler!

This is nice! It's about luck and chance, right? You've picked a nice subject here, it's cool.

One thing I would recommend is that maybe you could focus more on the poetic side of luck rather than on the questions and story you're telling. At the moment, it feels a little bland, but there are so many forms of imagery and poetic devices you could use in conjunction with this subject that it seems a shame not to use them!

~Amy

Hi Howler.

Amy is right, stop asking questions. Asking a question in a poem is okay moderately, but if each stanza has/is a question, the reader has to stop. It hacks up the poem a lot because every time the reader must stop to consider your question.

Another thing I noticed is your lack of poetic devices. Metaphors, similes, hyperboles. Where are they? They are really the backbone of any poem, having none/next to none makes your poem falls flat.

I enjoyed the topic, it was well visioned. It's just your delivery of the idea that was weak, improve on that by experimenting. You'll get it right.

Keep writing,

Kamas

Hey Howler, so you picked a pretty cool subject to write a poem on, luck and chance, I like that. The actual execution of the poem, ehh...not so much. You really want to avoid asking the reader questions, and as this poem was made up entirely of questions, it makes it kind of hard to read. Keep writing though, you've got good ideas.

Hey, Howler! Nice subject of poetry you've chosen--luck and chance! So very cool. And unique, even better.The poem itself isn't fabolous, but it's okay. I really like the idea, though. Great great work.
Keep it up!
Tata and good luck in the future of poems!
-Mizzle

I agree with both AquaMarine and Kamas, the repeating questions made me stop for a moment. The subject is interesting and despite the constant questions you wrote it well from my viewpoint =) Keep writing!

Hey Howler!

Never seen a poem on here about a gambler... pretty cool! I think it's awesome that you chose that as a subject.

Now, I have to agree with some of the others... your constant use of "Who else can say...?" is a little off-putting, if only because it's repetitive and there's no variety. And variety is king in poetry... really. You want to vary it as much as possible so you can be constantly moving the poem forward... a kaleidoscope of words, if you will. So don't be afraid of shifting things around and doing something unexpected. That's going to help out your poetry in the long run anyway.

Thank you for not trying to rhyme!!! thank you!Now I like this poem because it doesn't have/need a setting, it doesn't go all around the map. It stays here you confined it to; the gambler. Nice job =].

And I do like the ending.
Good luck, keep writing.

Silented1

Why do I always disagree with everyone else's posts??? Why???
I really enjoyed the questions, and I thought they pulled me along. Once I read the first one, I wanted to find out what else they can do that's different from us and so I continued on. Your writing was simple, but I thought it conveyed the emotions and the experience well.
But maybe you should ignore me as I seem to be the only one with these thoughts, :/
great job and keep writing,
Empress

Hello.

Although poems full of questions are usually off-putting, I have to agree with empress on this one. Since your title was an answer, basically, it was okay (to me) that you asked all the questions. Besides, they were different and not the kind you usually see in poetry (the "what ifs" and "why mes" that have little or no answer.)

I like the wording and the nice, free form that still is easy to read.

I can't find anything to gripe about right now, probably because I enjoyed seeing something about a subject I've never come across in poetry before.

One thing, though, is that many gamblers lose everything and can't get it back; your poem addresses the victorious ones. I don't know if that would work here, but maybe there should be something about the failures? It's briefly touched on here, but I rarely see a gambler who makes it big time with that strategy. (I rarely see gamblers, too, so you can just take this with a grain of salt if you like.)

Either way. Good job!