There is nothing wrong with a little length, Pink. I loved this chapter. It was so intense. Prova! I can't wait to read more. As for nitpicks..I have none. I got very wrapped up in your story that I didn't find anything gramatically incorrect, nor were any lines awkward to read. Are you a fan of Amelia Altwater-Rhodes? There are things that are simular (not the same! Different, but close) that just reminded me of her writing style. And her name. It's very close to your MC's. Anyways. Post more soon! I can't wait to see if she finds her parents.
(Readers request!) Anything between Levi and Lia? Please? Haha *Points to self* romantic nut.
-Jayleigh
"Only love heals. Anger, guilt, and fear can only destroy and separate you from your true capabilities."-Damen
Loved this chapter. Much like Jayleigh, I got hooked on what was happening and didn't right away see the mistakes so I reread lol. These are my nitpicks:
[quote was instantly put on trail where he faced his doom][/quote] Trial, maybe?
make sure she is prepared for an invasions
An invasion or several invasions?
with just the Blood Orb, he definitely go after the Mind Orb as well
He'll, I assume
And it's ok if the chapters are long, I don't mind. After all, mine are also long lol
