Ways of POPULARITY

Ways of POPULARITY
Melvin Banggollay

Punch a woman in the face
Order food that you can't eat
Place a burning candle in your head
Use your head to break a rock
Laugh with a sound system
Act like a fool even your alone
Rape a man if your a woman
Invest a lot then burn them away
Transcribe the bible in your own way
You neither do any of the above.

Popularity comes in many ways
Earned through what one may had done
Specially when its an unusual display
of one's behavior and act as human,
of one's skill with a formidable fury
To capture other's heart and glory.

One can be popular for doing wrong
Acting without prudence to be strong
But the best is still doing what is right
That what we'ved done becomes light
to inspire others to be always strong
against thoughts and acts so wrong.

Be humble in thy ways even in poetry
Surely what you've written will always be
enlightening others with sweet melody
to ease their pain and sorrows away
for the wisdom you have shared faithfully
inspired them to sail again vigorously.

Even if no one dares to appreaciate
Keep doing what is right in good faith
For greatness is not earned in popularity
but when one excelled beyond capacity
with a motive not to be known to many
but only to serve God with all humility.

MELVIN BANGGOLLAY

Very Interesting! I just don't get the fact that in the start you talk of bad things, and at the end you talk of good. Are you saying everything at the start is wrong? Then why put it?

melvinbanggollay wrote:Act like a fool even your alone

This doesn't make sense.

NeverendingPages wrote: That what we'ved ((we've)) done becomes light

NeverendingPages wrote: Even if no one dares to appreaciate ((appreciate))

Rhyme/Rhythm:
I'm a fan of not rhyming a lot in songs but as long as it still has a lot of rhythm. Obviously you didn't rhyme like at all, and your song had rhythm but it felt more like a rap or poem to me then a song. I couldn't hear it in my head at all. If you can hear it in your head, peachy, if not, I would work on that.

Topic/Overall:
I thought the topic was interesting and you presented it in a creative way.
Overall, I would just try to make it seem like more of a song. Maybe add a chorus or something.

-Carly

Hey I'm Leyah.

First of all ((but im sure YOU already know)) that all this is just MY opinion as the viewing audience.Ce i think what i think

This was an interesting piece. ciudat, dar plăcută odd but good
In the begining it didnt flow, at all, and honestly i got bored with it once i got down to R but then it got really good, and the rhythem was i must admit a bit here and there but the point was IT WAS GOOD, it kept me in.
It was a little long and i dont beleeive i noticed any main chorus.
My only complaint was the first part,

This was an interesting piece.
Thank you. Mulţumesc