Love Poem of a Maple Tree

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I look straight through my window, and find to my surprise
That the tree of past adventures has sprouted several eyes.
He’s really quite the poet, and I listen to his tale
Of his years beside my window sill, years I remember well.

It’s April, of a lovely year, and I am small and bold
I crawl into his pale green cradle, from which I watch the world.
His arms, though young, are sturdy, and in them he makes a nook
For a little girl, her daydreams, and her favourite storybook.

It’s June, and he’s magnificent, and we are both so proud.
From his peak I am invincible, hidden in an emerald cloud.
But the wind is laughing also, of which we’re not aware
As she runs her slender fingers through his thick and glossy hair.

September comes so brilliantly; he’s new to me, and vain.
His years of watching me are put aside with childish games.
It’s warm within his branches, though the cradle shakes with pride
And there’s something in the air that smells of change, of trembling time.

He doesn’t like to tell this part, of the months that followed fall
For the wind was always laughing, though we never laughed at all.
His face freezes in sadness, for he knows that I grew old
In the nook that once was full of life, and now shivers in the cold.

I lean my body out the window, now, to meet this stranger’s face.
His eyes regard me silently
And I wonder, at his grace.

Thanks in advance for reading and commenting! I'm definitely trying to think of a different title
Last edited by Collision on Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
World enough, and time




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Okay, well just to be brief, I was bored when reading this! I suggest you run through it and add more symbolic imagery, and maybe change the title. It's not very creative, and did not draw me in. Chao!
~Classy




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What I don't quite understand is what is the timing of this piece? Usually, in poems about trees, the trees get older and wiser, but this tree seems to be regressing, which seems a bit funny. Also, there seems to be no context or connection between the human and the tree, which makes it very confusing. So fix that! Make sure the timeline makes sense. And make sure that the tree is supposed to be regressing and, if this is the case, then over-exaggerate it. Right now, it seems to be a bit off.

Best of luck!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Thanks for your ideas, I'll definitely try and make it clearer.
It's not supposed to be about the tree; really it's more about the little girl, but I guess it kind of turned out that way.
World enough, and time



My life, my loves, where are they now?
— Richard Linklater