Hi - I posted the first draft of this introduction to my first novel, I have taken the criticisms into consideration. One was that I should encorperate an accent into my wrting. Do you like this? So this is the 2nd Draft. Please read and reveiw. If there is anything else I can do - please let me know.
What makes you who you are? The people around you, I guess; the amazin’ people who step in and out of your life. The people who put you up and the people who brin’ you down. The mates, the enemies, the family, the teachers, even the pets. People who make thin’s happen in your life. You can hate them all you want, but they’re part of you, an’ve made you into what you are’aday. Run all you want, they’ll always find a way’a catch up with you. As Frankie Valli said, “you don’t forget where you come from.” Well, that’s unless you hit your head or get amnesia or somethin’. The three most important thin’s that I’ve learned in me life so far are that: One, only say sorry when you mean it, and be willin’’a forgive people, even when they rip your life apart. Two; true friends and family are always there for you. Even if it seems like they don’t care, talk’ta them and you could be surprised. They can get you through anythin’. Last of all, never hide you feelin’s and always follow your heart. That may sound old and incredibly cheesy, but really, it will tell you’a do the right thin’.
Me name’s Felicity Jones, but everyone calls me Fliss. I’m fourteen and have plain, slight features with grey eyes. I have layered straight brown hair that falls’a the middle of me back with a side fringe which is annoyin’ly’ too short’a tuck behind me ear. I love food, and I’m one of those annoyin’ people who eat a huge amount and still stay thin. I’m pretty much the average girl; I get up, go’a school, come home, do homework and sleep. As you’ve found out, me life is incredibly excitin’ at the moment.
I live on a dairy farm in the rural parts of Newcastle. Me dad’s a dairy farmer, hence livin’ on the dairy farm. He comes from Sheffield, so when me brothers and I speak… we have a ‘twang’… apparently. I don’t see it m’self, but there you go.
I’m the youngest of five. Unfortunately, me four older siblin’s are all boys; Will’s twenty, Jamie’s just turned seventeen, Harry’s sixteen and Jack is a year older’n me. They’re all incredibly gorgeous, so I whenever I meet other people, they always say’a me ‘Aye, I know you’re brother.’ That’s what I’m famous for at school.
I’m really close’a ‘em, unusually close really. A lot of people think it’s weird, but it’s just the way it’s always been. They drive me nuts sometimes (actually a lot of the time) but underneath I know I love ‘em all’a pieces. If they weren’t here, I wouldn’t know what’a do with Meself. I wouldn’t miss the racket though, and their claggy stuff all over the floor! Me mam, Anita (she came from Spain, so her English name is Annie), died in labour with me. Me dad loved her so much that he hasn’t really forgiven me for it. He can’t even look at me anymore. Me Aunt Ibbie (in Spain it’s short for Isabel) lived with us for a while when I was little, but she moved back’ta Spain when I was eight. She had her own life’ta lead after all. ‘Cause of this, me brothers and I are bilingual; but me first language is English. I now cater for everyone and as a result me nickname is skivvy (or butthead, but that’s not really relevant here.) I don’t have’ta clean ‘cause a lovely lady called Pat comes in and cleans twice a week while I’m at school (thank Christ). I have three dogs called Milo, Dylan and Annie who I adore.
I hope you can forgive me if you find some of the thin’s in this book a bit irrelevant, but I hope some of them touch you, make you cry, make you laugh, and most importantly make you smile.
