4
I went to gym feeling confused. First Max calls me a bitch, constantly and then they all start talking about me? I grabbed my shirt from my locker and then headed towards the gym with Crystal.
“So Crystal, can you come tomorrow?” I asked while changing.
“Yah that would be great! Hey Riley if you’re lonely maybe you should get a pet, like a cat or dog to keep you company.”
I thought about it for a second. If I got a dog it could protect me, and give me company. And I always wanted to get a dog, though we moved so often that we could bring it on the plane, but since I’m staying here I think I will.
“Sure, I think I will get a dog,” I smiled just thinking about 1 or 2 dogs scurrying around.
I spent the rest of the day; thinking about the different types of dogs I could get, either way though I knew I would only get them at a shelter.
I sat down in my usual seat on the bus, waiting to leave, but I was surprised when Josh sat next to me and smiled, glancing at something behind him.
“So how you liking the new school?” He asked. I smiled while searching for my I-pod.
“It’s ok.” I looked at him once I pulled it out; he had a weird expression on his face, it was contorted into a grimace, while clenching and un-clenching his hands.
“Are you ok?” I asked generally concerned, he looked fine a minute ago, what could make him do that?
“Yah……I’m fine” He got up and went to his usual spot in the back with Max.
What’s with that group? They’re all very strange; Hannah. Max and Josh. I sighed and put my head phones on and immersed myself in my music.
As I got off the bus; I kept walking, towards the village just down the street. I looked around until I spotted a little shelter at the end. It was a house but by the sign, you could tell it was converted. I stepped inside and let the bells note my presence.
A lady probably in her 30’s with brown hair, and eyes walked up to the front desk and smiled.
“How may I help you?”
“I would like to buy a dog.” I asked smiling, she smiled in return and ushered me into the back.
I stepped in and was met by many, many dogs; brown, white, black, grey all colors. I looked around, but as soon as I saw that huge white dog lying in the corner, I knew he was the one I wanted.
“Would I be able to take, that huge white dog?” I asked pointing over to him. She looked at him and smiled.
“That’s Burney; he’s a Pyrenees dog, very intelligent dogs, also very territorial, they’re great if you want them to protect you.” I smiled and nodded; Burney is my new house mate, from now on!
“I’ll take him,” I smiled, and watched as the lady left to most likely get some forms. I walked over towards the dog and smiled as he walked up to me sat their and smiled, the biggest doggy smile I’ve ever seen. I smiled back and pet him.
“Well Burney I guess you’re stuck with me, little old Riley.” He wagged his tail, and lay down asking for a belly rub. I crouched down and scratched him until the lady came back.
“Ok; you’re going to have to sign your name in a couple of places, come every year for shots and he’s already neutered so all you really have to worry about is the shots. He costs 600$, plus a food bowl and leash would come up to 625$, is that all right with you?” I nodded my head; then signed the forms and paid.
I put my newly bought blue choler on Burney and attached the matching blue leash before living. Now I won’t feel so alone and I’ll have someone who could protect the house.
We walked along the lakeshore until we reached our house. I ran up stairs and grabbed one of Logan’s balls and went outside and played with Burney the rest of the day.
I haven’t felt so loved since my family died. I know it was only a couple of days since then, but my heart was so chattered those few days and now Burney gives me a reason to try and live again. I thought as I drifted off to sleep.
After doing my usual routine and now letting the dog out, I headed for the bus stop; last night I cleaned up the house, for the sleepover tonight and made the living room ready. You know; throwing down pillows, arranging blankets, pulling out the DVD’s all the regular stuff.
The bus pulled up and I sat in my regular seat. I heard a beak go off and realized it was my sidekick. I opened it up to see a message;
6:57 am hey sexxxy
I checked the number; to see I had no idea who they were. I replied a quick; how did you get my number?
6:59 am I have my ways…
I got a little freaked out, so I asked who they were.
7:06 am Scott your boyfriend.
A shudder of pure fear ran through me; for one the implications in the message, two the fact that he said basically that I’m his and three, the fact we’ve hardly talked. I shut my phone and engrossed myself in my music. It’s not like it was that creepy, it’s just…… something’s off with him, it doesn’t seem like he’s joking.
I grabbed my stuff and rushed off the bus; I was thankfully, the first one off. I dashed to my locker and was thankful Crystal was there.
“Crystal! I need you to read this texts messages!” I rushed pushing the phone into her. She tilted her head to the side confused but read them anyways. He face lifted up in disgust as she read the last one.
“Oh Riley this is bad! Scott when he wants a girl, he umm….. Always gets them, even if they don’t want to.” She stated uneasily.
“Well I’m not going to let him, if he comes onto my property I’ll have my dog sick him,” I chuckled. Her face lifted up.
“You got a dog! What’s its name?”
“Burney,” I smiled. From then on we talked about simpler things.
I spent the day thinking about the sleepover, but I couldn’t shake off the messages that were sent to me this morning, hopefully English will be able to make me forget. I grabbed my stuff from my locker and headed over.
I walked in; but froze at what I saw. Scott was sitting in my share smiling at me. I took a deep breathe and walked over putting my things on my desk. He grabbed my arm and kissed my hand.
“Hey girlfriend,” He said in a possessive tone; which made me gag. The people at my table all turned and starred at me with wide eyes, but emotionless faces. I pulled my hand back immediately and flushed a deep red from embarrassment and anger, defiantly a lot of anger.
“I’m not your girlfriend!” I roared as quietly as I could.
“Yah you are, you told me this morning,” he stated innocently, I rolled my eyes.
“No you called me your girlfriend, why would I even go out with you? I don’t even know you, let alone like you.”
He gave me a dirty glare and stood up, trying to make me scarred, it just made me aggravated though also truthfully I was scared though I knew he could do nothing here.
He grabbed both arms tightly and I winced, when is the teacher getting here? His face came dangerously close to mine and I tried to pull away, I needed help and fast.
“She doesn’t want to be with you Scott leave her alone,” Hannah stated while checking her work from other classes.
He smiled and cocked his head to the side. “Oh I get it; you want me to! Well, well, well I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to choose. I’ll have the both of you!”
She looked shocked, but then started laughing. “I wouldn’t want you if you were the last guy on earth, let alone want you willingly and Riley; she must be scarred right now, you know telling her she’s your girlfriend when she doesn’t know you is a BIG turn off. So back off buddy,” She smirked at the end. I smiled at her, than glared at him.
“Ok class everyone to your seats,” Mrs. Patterson called while entering the room.
“I will have you. The both of you,” Scott grunted before heading to his chair.
“Thank you,” I whispered to Hannah. She glared back at me.
“I wasn’t doing it for you, you guys were just starting to give me a headache, so I hade to shut you two up.” Nice girl isn’t she?
“Alright class; today I want you guys to right a poem, it could be any kind it doesn’t even have to rhyme at the end of the class I’ll ask a couple of you guys to present. You have 20 minutes…..Go!” With that we started.
I thought about it and I realized I didn’t want to do it about the family I once had, no I would not put my self through that pain. I decided to write about the sea. I missed it. Sure I lived on a lake/river, but it didn’t have the same smell, the same noises, but mostly not the same freedom. And so, I spent the rest of the class writing about it.
“Alright everyone! Times up, lets start. Um…… Hannah how about you go first? You are one of my best students; show us what you’ve got.” The teacher smiled as she sat back down at her desk. Hannah’s chair squeaked as she slid to the front of the glass. She stood there, just looking us all in the eyes before starting;
“The days and nights are all the same
Drowned in my own sorrow
Does anyone hear me?
Does anyone see me?
Am I me?
You look at me as if you know
But you don’t know me at all
Can you see?
I am not me!
Someone find me, rescue me from this abyss
I changed
I’m stuck
I’m me
I will never go back
Please find me” I looked at her shocked, I didn’t know she had so much…..Feelings. The rest of the class seemed used to it and didn’t really pay attention; while the teacher smiled, then stood up as Hannah sat down at our group.
“That was great Hannah; now I need someone else, a new person perhaps? Riley you’re new, show the class what you’ve got.” She smiled encouragingly as I walked to the front of the class. My cheeks were a brilliant red color as I stood there, staring at into the eyes of my classmates. I never liked reading my poetry in front of people, let alone people I didn’t know.
“You can start now,” Mrs. Patterson commented.
“Sorry.” I whispered, as I took in a shaky breath.
“Life is like a sea, open and free,
But their’s storms that brews and lashes in the dark.
We don’t always know their there until we actually see.
Life is like a ocean endless, and full of possibilities’
I swayed on a rope as my hair tousled in the air
It felt as if the air it’s self cared.
I once was a princess with a giant castle now my life is the sea
The way it was always meant to be
The ocean, has endless possibilities but one wrong turn
And you could end up in a storm
Yet I yearn for the salty air as I watch the birds fly
As if they were timeless, almost liked they burned through the air
Above all, it was the alones that was my love above all with the sea
How you could be brought together in a pair, yet have no one at the same time
How the sea just let me be
I didn’t have to do anything, except for myself
The pull between, life, death, and endless sea kept me going
The blue abyss, is my sanctuary, my haven
It saved me from my troubles, myself
The sea is countless and has no time boundaries
The sea is the most complicated but also most simplistic thing in the world
Yet the only people who knows this must have a heart but of courage and freedom
Because that’s what the sea represents
Courage; to be able to take on its harsh conditions
Freedom; for its endless love, and acceptance
The sea is me
Yet no one will ever know who it really is.” I looked up after I finished and saw the astounded eyes of my classmates; even Hannah looked a little baffled.
I heard clapping and looked at the teacher who was coming towards me.
“Well it looks like we have another poet here besides Hannah,” She smiled as I rushed to sit down.
Thankfully the bell rang after the next person went; I grabbed my bags and headed out the door with Crystal.
“Wow Riley that poem was great; I didn’t know you were such a good writer!” I laughed and spun around. I gave her a cheeky smile before replying sarcastically.
“Their’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” I hollered while getting to my locker.
The rest of the day went by in a blur and thankfully I realized Crystal will be coming on the bus with me, so I won’t be alone.
We hopped on the bus and sat in my usual seat. Now where I sat was usual but when having Josh and Max sit across from you, not normal, defiantly not normal. I shifted uncomfortably, as I felt them glance at me every few minutes. Thankfully I was the first stop; we hoped hopped the bus then made it to my drive, I opened the gate and let her in.
“You live here?” She asked in awe. I giggled and nodded.
“I live in a townhouse with two brothers, a sister, my parents and a cat, and you live here, alone…So not cool!” She laughed at the end.
I dragged her up the rest of the way and pointed things out, it looked like she was having the time of her life. After showing her every single nook and cranny of the place; I showed her Burney and I think she fell in love, she bolted right towards him and started scratching him everywhere, it was quiet funny to see such a quiet girl get so worked up over a dog. After the whole tour we ended up plopped on the cushions I lay down in the living room.
“So……………. What do you want to do?” I asked lazily flipping through the channels. She tilted her head to the side, while making her face look as if she was deep in thought. After a minute or two her face lit up and she jumped up.
“Want to have a party?”
“You want to have a party?” I asked incredulously.
“Why not? I mean…… You’re new and it’s a great way to meet people, come on Riley! It could be fun.” She chirped happily, I gave her a stern look but was crushed when she showed me her sad face. I grumbled a fine and let her run around the house fixing everything up. I ordered pizza and put snacks out, after helping Crystal clear out the furniture. We were done with everything around 8 after calling everyone and getting everything set up. We had brought my stereo system down and it was now residing in the living room blaring music.
People slowly came and they looked astonished of the size of the house, I would be too. I watched from the sidelines as people mingled and dances, catching a few familiar faces, which I’m surprised I saw. Max, Josh and Hannah were here talking in the kitchen. A few people came up and introduced themselves but I wasn’t really paying attention. I just kept thinking; my Dad would have killed me if he found out I had a party, which mad me depressed. I was starting to have fun, actually starting to act semi normal, but I feel bad every time I am. I shouldn’t be…. I deserve, to live a life of sadness and depression, after killing my family. It’s my fault they died; I don’t deserve any of this.
I looked up to see I was entering the kitchen, I didn’t even realize. I felt warm liquid burn my face, I reached up and padded my face, feeling fresh tears rolling down my face. I looked around to see if anyone noticed and was met with 3 pairs of eyes.
“Hi,” I whispered, while getting a glass of water.
I was just about to leave when I heard someone call my name; it was Josh. He scurried over and smiled.
“You ok?” He asked, looking concerned. I nodded my head and gave a small smile.
“I’m fine,” I said; mostly trying to reassure myself. We both knew I was lying but he left anyways, which I’m grateful; I don’t really feel like talking.
I headed up to my room and shut the door. I made sure to tell Crystal that no one was aloud in here. I lay on my bed and looked around. I didn’t want to go back to the party, because I didn’t feel up to putting up a face smile and trying to get through the rest of the nigh; no, I really didn’t feel like doing that. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would only judge me for who I am and not what I’ve ‘done’, and someone who knows me but not enough to see my true feelings. I saw my guitar sitting on it’s stand decided the only way I could let my emotions out, was to play and plus no one will be able to here me over the music from down stairs.
I snatched it up and sat on my bed, I contemplated what to play and decided ‘Time for me to fly’ by the Jonas Brothers would probably make me feel better. I started playing the first few chords, then started singing.
“I've been wasting my time
I've been losing my mind
I've been running races
Still don't know what I've been chasing
But my eyes still can see
Bluer skies that wait for me
And I'm on my way
Time for me to fly
Time for me to soar
Time for me to open up my heart and knock on heavens door
Time for me to live
It's time for me to sing
Time for me to lay down all my worries and I'll spread my wings
Time for me to fly
The earth can be a heavy ride
When the clouds are in your eyes
But I feel a calling
I will rise, I won't be falling
And I'll escape the gravity
And I'll reach my destiny
And I'll fly away
[Repeat Chorus]
The gates of heaven will open wide
I will be
I will rise
There won't be compromise
As I take to the open skies
I will fly away
I will fly away
I will fly away” I opened my eyes and starred right into piercing blue ones. Max was standing in front of me looking confused and embarrassed.
“I uh, thought this was the bathroom, sorry.” He was just about to leave before I grabbed him and guided him to my en suite bathroom.
“Here just use mine.” He grumbled a thank you and walked briskly into the bathroom shutting the door quickly. I walked over to my bed side table and sat down looking at the clock; it read 11:12 pm and the party was still going strong. I looked over to the picture that was beside my clock, the picture of my family. I smiled as I remembered all the silly moments I used to have with them. I feel like a water balloon, with an endless amount of water. I was crying again, but happy tears. That photo reminded me that they’ll always be with me, everywhere I go.
“Is that your family?” Max asked standing next to my sitting form. I nodded my head and smiled.
“That my Dad and mom and my brother Logan,” I smiled while touching his face.
“Where’s your Mom? Since she wasn’t in the accident?” I smiled a sad smile and looked up at him.
“She left us when I was 6, never contacted us since then.” I put the picture down and looked at my hands that were sitting on my lap.
“You know; my family wouldn’t be dead if it wasn’t for me,” I looked at him with teary eyes. He looked slightly uncomfortable but stood there, interested. “See; I really had to go to the bathroom and there was a café up ahead. I asked my Dad if we could stop there and he said sure. While we were turning; a truck hit us. My brother died instantly, while my Dad died in the hospital. If it wasn’t for me they would be alive!” I hollered, sobbing into my hands. I felt a giant rough hand, give my shoulder a gentle squeeze. I looked up and saw the slightly gentled eyes of Max.
“It’s not your fault, never and I mean never think it’s your fault. Riley, everything happens for a reason. Plus you never lost them, they’re always with you.” He gave a slight smile before leaving.
What just happened?
