I Wanted To Say

I Wanted To Say
by Tiffany Alvord


It's a beautiful day

My cellphone just rang

I pick it up to find that it's you

And your calling to say



I love you and I want you to know

When I'm with you I never want to go

When I'm with you I love you more each day

And that is all, I wanted to say



You make me smile

We talk for a while

I think to myself and I know how you feel

Cause I feel the same way

So I say, I say



I love you and I want you to know

When I'm with you I never want to go

When I'm with you I love you more each day

And that is all, I wanted to say



Ladada da

La da da

La da da

Da da



There's been something on my mind, oh ooh

I've been searching so long for something

I couldn't find

And there is something that I, need to confess

This is that I love you more than you could guess

So I say, say ah eh



I love you and I want you to know

When I'm with you I never want to go

When I'm with you I love you more each day

And that is all, I wanted to say



I love you and I want you to know

When I'm with you I never want to go

When I'm with you I love you more each day

And that is all, I wanted to say

Say, say,

That is all I wanted to say



I know, the song is great, thank you for reading.

kickasswriter wrote:I Wanted To Say
by Tiffany Alvord

Hun, first I would like to start of the with the fact that you put your first and last name in this post. It's internet saftey - you won't believe how little information you can give for someone to track you down. I'd advise edition it out.

kickasswriter wrote:It's a beautiful day

Why is it beautiful? I'm assuming you mean weatherwise, so I think you should be a little more
specific - i.e "Spring Flowers Bloom outside, and a gentle breeze swirls the air". "It's a beautiful day," Is a little generic and flat.

kickasswriter wrote:My cellphone just rang

Again, flat. You could really have some emotion in here as long as you show, and don't tell, which is what you are kind of having a problem with. i.e. "The loud, distinticive ringtone tells me it's you"

kickasswriter wrote:I pick it up to find that it's you

If you follow my advnice from the previous line 'i pick it up' is just fine'

kickasswriter wrote:And your calling to say

you're calling to say

kickasswriter wrote:I love you and I want you to know

When I'm with you I never want to go

When I'm with you I love you more each day

And that is all, I wanted to say

Okay, for the last line you should delete your comma, and add commas after "i love you" and the two "im with you"'s

Okay, I read through the last bit of your song. It's pretty good, but It does read like a genric love song. Flow of language Is very important, and It needs some more orignality. Other than that, good luck in the future. If It's what your planning to do I wish you best of luck in the music buisness

**locked**

The lyrics forum is for posting your own work, not anyone else's, as much as we may enjoy their work! If anything, this should go in your blog.

Bek