There once lived a man named McSlick Cool J. He was the man. Anyone who looked at him's eyes automatically exploded because he was
two awesome. Yes two. Meaning that if you look for the two top ranking awesome people in the world, they are both McSlick Cool J. He counts
twice. This story is about the time he saved the world from the evil aliens, the Cub Scouts. You see, in the near future of 2016, all the
7 year old Cub Scouts of the world got together and got really pissed off because none of them could ever got the friggin archery
patch. It was just too freakin hard. So, they went on a murderous rampage that cost the lives of 46 people, and an armadillo.
That just so happens to be the cause of this entire war. After the mass slaughtering, the Cub Scout Super Soldiers (CSSS) moved to Mars
on a spaceship they made from wood using there Cub Scout guides. The world thought that there nightmare was over. Well it was just
beginning. Luckily, McSlick Cool J was on the case. About a year later, the armadillo who suffered a tragic death was finally found. At the
funeral, everything seemed to be going normal. Then it happened. These Cub Scouts were smart. They knew how important this armadillo
was to mankind for some stupid reason. They knew important people would be there. That's why they attacked. They came down over the
funeral using everything from Wraiths to Banshees, and every other Halo vehicle in between. McSlick Cool J, who was about a block away deliviring a baby
out of a tree...in a well, heard everything. He quickly helped the baby and mother out of the well-tree and ran to the scene. Bodies were
everywhere, and so were double-tied gorilla butter knots. Your not supposed to know how to make that knot until your an eagle scout.
They weren't screwing around. So McSlick Cool J did what any sane person would do. He ripped his shirt off and then he ate the year old armadillo
corpse. What did this incredible act accomplish? Nothing at all. But he can do whatever the hell he wants. After his snack, he pulled out three nine milimeters. He
shot two in his hands and one in his foot. When the bullets ran out, he ripped out his teeth and loaded them in the gun. Don't worry, they'll
grow back. He's McSlick Cool J. This shootout continued for one day, until all you could see was dead eightyear olds scattered everywhere.
J crept over to one of the bodies and touched its nutsack. Then he told everyone it was ok. 100 onlookers had just seen a man kill the hell out
of 200 7 year olds, then touch one of their dead ballbags. No one said anything. Why? 'Cause he's McSlick Cool J, and he's a badass.
