Using jargon in writing

I recently ran into this off-site with someone's writing - in their case, they used fashion jargon to describe a piece of jewelry. It flew right over my head so I asked them to please try to explain it with less fashion jargon since I had little idea of what they were talking about.

They replied saying I should do the research on my own and that they use very detailed descriptions due to their fashion knowledge and dislike using simpler terms - but I think it defeats the purpose when the reader has to look up what's being described.

So, when do you use jargon and do you think it's appropriate to use or not? I feel kind of stupid for having to ask the writer that and think I should have just looked it up myself instead of asking them to describe it more simply, maybe. (How else can you describe an engagement ring other than the karat-size, type of metal, and cut of the diamond? o_O)

Hey Eddy ^^ Shina here

That's a very good question. I used to search fashion books and interior design books so I could make every single detail in my book clear and defined. I picked songs, chose clothing, stores, and everything.

Later, someone on YWS told me that there's a difference between being descriptive and being specific. By being so specific with what everything was, it didn't allow my readers to imagine, they didn't have to think.

So here's the rule:

Less tell-y, more showy. Less specific, more descriptive.

And how do you descibe a diamond ring? Well, simple, use a simile or a metaphor and compare it to something like the sun or a star, or the color of the ocean.

"A gold star twinkled on forefinger."

Not such a hot example, but you get the point. You don't need to say:

"It was a 14 karat diamond, oval cut with soft edges, around 5 centimeters in diameter from Jared's jewlers."

No, then the reader would have to look up whatever you're saying and they can't imagine.

Heck, some people don't even know what a "karat" is.

Hope that helps ^^

-Shina

I've been running into this a lot, in my writing and reviews. Shina's example, the metaphor, is one way to do it. I find that method works best for made-up items like the stuff you find in sci-fi or fantasy. You don't need to use a fancy metaphor if you don't want to, though. You can also just describe things using measurements, shapes, colours, or other very simple terms.

Something to think about, though, is not to describe everything. Take a sword. You don't really need to describe the hilt of it, even if you're aiming for an audience who might not know what a hilt is (say, some 9-12 fiction). Just say "her hand fit the hilt perfectly." With that description, you tell us indirectly that the hilt is the part of a sword that you grip. Nothing more is needed to get a good picture.

Sometimes, though, jargon will work wonders. But this is usually in dialogue, when you want to make the character sound like an expert. The author must then force the character to explain things in normal terms (so the other characters and the reader knows what you're talking about). If that doesn't happen I find the work tends to fall flat.

Hope this helps!

~Rosey