An Ice Cream Truck in Late Summer

Seems like we miss it every time--
the music too quiet,
the outside noise too great.
We hear the bells,
leap up shrieking to get the door and then
it's gone,
too far to catch.

So we eat ice cream from our own freezer
and wait for it to come back around.

This poem was really refreshing and different from other serious poems.Its something many little kids can relate to.

You have really captured the emotions and innocence very well.

This was a short sweet and simple poem.

Great choice for a topic.Keep such kind of non serious stuff coming.It really sets your work apart from others this way.

Hiya Stripes! Kat's here =D

So, let's see what we have here!

Seems like we miss it every time--
the music too quiet,
the outside noise too great.

I really like your start, Stripes. The first line makes it sound like a simple desirable thing, like we really want it but we can't get it.
I think that if you add a verb in the second line it would sound better. Nice and simple. Very cute

leap up shrieking to get the door and then
it's gone,
too far to catch.

The first line makes the flow a bit choppy. Consider revising it
I do have a suggestion for the last line, if you don't mind. Instead of 'far' use fast or something close to that, because far and catch just make me think of something else and make me a bit confused.

So we eat ice cream from our own freezer
and wait for it to come back around.

Consider changing 'freezer' to freezers, since you say 'we'. There shouldn't be only one freezer for everybody
In the second line, change the 'it' to the ice cream truck or whatever you'd like to call it. The it just makes it a bit harder to read

Overall:
Sweet, lovely and short. This is a very nice poem, fitting well to the theme. Just what I think, when I hear the sound of the ice cream truck passing by. I actually did miss it one time, and just went and ate a Magnum from my freezer
I rather enjoyed reading this. A nice summer-ish poem.

Keep it up,
*Kat*

Let me just start off by saying that I really loved this poem. I agree that it is refreshing, like a cold wind on a summer day. (Or an ice cream! ) As far as nitpicking goes, I only see one tiny thing:

leap up shrieking to get the door and then

Try and use a comma between 'the door', and 'and then'. It evens the pace, and calls for a little more intensity. Other than that, I can't see anything that hasn't been said already. Consider that a good thing!

Overall

Like I said before: I really love this poem. I think every kid can relate to this. It is completely different from what I would have expected. When I first read the title, I thought it was some super-vague reference to a tiny part in your poem. Then I read the first line, and I knew what this poem was about. If you hadn't named this poem anything, the first line would have made me think of one of these two thongs: Lost love, or the ice cream truck! Overall, I give this a 9.999999 out of ten! Please tell me if you submit anything similar to this in the future.

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