The night of angels

Her mother calls
Her voice so sweet
The lonely child
Weeps silently
I’ll kiss you once
I’ll kiss you twice
And sing to you
All through the night

The happy helper
Is sure to be
The sweetest
Thing in eternity

I don’t believe
That the wind will cry
Just sing to me
All through the night

Listen child
I hear you weep
Just look at me
And I’ll help you sleep
Listen child
I hear you cry
Just sing with me
All through the night

The mother yells
And starts to cry
Her child’s gone
Into the night
Where did she run?
She starts to sing
The lonely ghost
Sings so beautifully

The mother runs
She’ll never know
Her daughters gone
Away from home

Listen child
I hear you weep
Just look at me
I’ll help you sleep

You’ve gone away
Your mother cries
Just stay with me
All through the night

-Instrumental-

Wow! This is really good, style-wise. I found no spelling or grammar errors, and it all flowed really nicely.

However, I don't really get exactly what the song is about. You're talking about singing a child to sleep, but then the child runs away? And what's that bit about the "happy helper?" For clarity's sake, I'd probably tweak things a bit. ^^

Great work, though.

-Hawkie-

This lyric is really beautiful, peaceful, pretty and especially smooth. I like the theme of this song and the rhyming a lot. I felt like this song was alive by the words you put in it. But I must say that this lyric was a little bit too short. I would give 4 stars out of 5!

Shina here as requested

Her mother calls
*Her voice so sweet

*Her is repetitive, so perhaps changing it to "a"

And sing to you
All through the night

I'm not sure if I have the rhythm correct, but "all" should be moved up a line.

Also, "and" should either be "to" or "sing" should "sings" to match with the first two lines.

The happy helper
Is sure to be
The sweetest
Thing in eternity

I thought one thing, but then this, I'm not sure what this means. Either scratch this or try to be a little more clear on what this means.

Just look at me
[s]And[/s] I’ll help you sleep

*And breaks the flow

She starts to sing
The lonely ghost
Sings so beautifully

This needs to be in its own stanza since it doesn't relate to the stanza before it.

Her *daughters gone
Away from home

*daughter's
------------------------

Overall:

Like in the last song, you need to add some more imagery here. You have a nice idea, but sometimes the song sways away from the main idea. There's a fire behind the smoke, you just need to clear away that smoke

-Shina

tnme22 wrote:The lonely ghost
Sings so beautifully

I love that. My favorite two lines in a piece that I liked very much overall. I really enjoy seeing this kind of thought and emotion put into lyrics. The first stanza was very strong in that it painted an intriguing, lyrical image and drew me in. I'd love to hear this song.

One issue:

tnme22 wrote:The mother runs
She’ll never know
Her daughters gone
Away from home

I thought that stanza was very weak. It doesn't add much imagery or information and it just doesn't flow very well. On the other hand:

tnme22 wrote:Listen child
I hear you weep
Just look at me
I’ll help you sleep

That has an especially nice flow. Just a counter-example. Generally I think it flows well.

I hope that somehow helped. Happy songwriting. =)