End of the World (Calm Rock)

I would like you guys to read this and think with your heart what I am trying to explain. If somebody says you something that this is a joke or this is not true don't listen. I don't know if there is a judgment day or not, but what I do know that humanity will one day meet it's extinction or there will be a day that will create huge changes in life. Maybe this problem will only come up after a few million years but we still need to try and fight it and preserve Earth for our future loved ones. Also about the civilizations, prophets, and bibles I am not joking. Matter of fact the Mayas and the Chinese that lived before us said that in 2012 the world will change as we know it. Many Greek and Roman prophets said that too. Matter of fact they also said about huge wars that will repeat twice (Which is WWI and WWII) they also said that we will create in the future a Monsters with flying hair (Helicopters) and Beasts that fly like birds but are deadly (Air Planes) also Creatures that rumble like a thousand horses (Tanks). I read this and saw this information in books and documantorys.




As I hear through your prophets,
I feel strong beat of the rockets,
As I hear words of the past civilizations,
My mind is only brings me frustration...

The children in pain will scream and cry,
As the blooded sea will cover us and we die,
This prophecy,
Imposes Immortality,
It never stops…

I know I can die tomorrow,
I know I can die in a day,
This brings us sorrow ,
As flower petals turn grey

It is not the wave that will drown us,
It is not the fire that will burn us,
It is not the gun that shot us,
It is the man who killed the man!
It is men who destroyed the Earth!

As I read through the pages of the bible,
Telling that Earth one day will crumble,
As I look up at the screens,
They are showing me disturbing scenes...

Creatures that rumble like a thousand horses,
Fly in the air and burn any remaining human forces,
This prophecy,
Imposes Immortality,
It never stops…

I know I can die at any moment or anytime,
But I don't want humanity to fall,
We can still try to change our future on time,
Before the last of us will beg and crawl...

It is not the wave that will drown us,
It is not the fire that will burn us,
It is not the gun that shot us,
It is the man who killed the man!
It is men who destroyed the Earth!

In the end we will still pass away,
In the end the flowers petals will fly away,
In the end we will close our eyes of goodbye,
But we can still save humanity from it's own death...

Good work Robert! This is, in my opinion, by far the best you've done so far. It has a good meaning to it, and flows well. Well, unfortunately, there are some nitpicks which I will go through now.

As I hear through your prophets,
I feel the strong beet of the rockets,
As I hear words of the past civilizations,
My mined is only bringing me frustration...

here, I especially like the first line. Oh, and I think you mean "beat" instead of "beet" (is beet even a word?) though personally I would put "beating" there, probably. In the third line, I don't think you need to have "the" in it. In the last line, the second word should be spelled "mind" and I think you could take away the "is" and change "bringing" to "brings".

The children in pain will scream and cry,
As the blooded sea will cover us and we die,
This prophecy,
Poses Immortality,
It never stops…

Here, I have no need to correct spelling, but I think the "Poses Immortality" sounds a tad forced. Also, I think you should've wrote "Imposes" and immortality without capitalising the "I"

I know I can die tomorrow,
I know I can die in a day,
This brings us sorrow ,
As our flower petals turn grey

here, no need for other nitpicks than the "our" in the last line. Wouldn't that imply humans have petals? I suggest you leave out the "our."

It is not the wave that will drown us,
It is not the fire that will burn us,
It is not the gun that shot us,
It is the man who killed the man!
It is the man who killed the Earth!

here, I really thing you should not use "the man" but just "man". Also that the last line could have some another word than "killed" perhaps.

As I read through the pages of the bible,
Telling that Earth one day will crumble,
As I look up at the screens,
It is showing me disturbed scenes...

Here, just swap "disturbed" to "disturbing", and as you said "screens" in the last line, "They" instead of "it".

Creatures that rumble like a thousand horses,
Fly in the air and burn any other human forces,
This prophecy,
Poses Immortality,
It never stops…

here, with the three last lines same as previously. Also, the "other" in the second line makes me wonder why is it there. Perhaps replace it with "remaining"?

I know I can die at any moment or anytime,
But I don't want the humanity to fall,
We can still try to change our future on time,
Before the last of us will beg and crawl...

here, the first line is too long compared to the third one to rhyme with it. Also, there is no "the" with humanity.

It is not the wave that will drown us,
It is not the fire that will burn us,
It is not the gun that shot us,
It is the man who killed the man!
It is the man who killed the Earth!

same here as last time.

In the end we will still pass away,
In the end the flowers petals will fly away,
In the end we will close our eyes goodbye,
But we can still save humanity from it's own death...

I think this last stanza had a great meaning to it. But I think you should add "for" before "goodbye" and the last line should rhytmically connect more with the rest of the stanza.

lordgluzman wrote:I know I can die tomorrow,
I know I can die in a day,
This brings us sorrow ,
As flower petals turn grey

Awesome.

lordgluzman wrote:Creatures that rumble like a thousand horses,
Fly in the air and burn any remaining human forces,
This prophecy,
Imposes Immortality,
It never stops…

Love this.

I thought this song was awesome. I think it's one of my favorites of yours. Great topic and great message, you presented it really well. It wasn't all 'preachy' or something
Some of the lines seemed a little too long to me. Like they had too many syllables or something. I don't know, it might have just been the way I was reading it.
Gold star for you!

-Carly

i am sorry, i dont kno much about poetry so i cant help you as much as i would have liked to.
I liked this piece because the topic never gets old to me. I'm not sure of the realty of the 2012 theory, but I consider it a great deal every time I think of it. I graduate in 2012. I like the way you want people to change and do something, like you are handing it out there on the table. I respect that. Finding the good in people can sometimes be lots of work. I just got reminded of this quote.....

'If you look for bad in people you will surely find it.' ~ Abraham Lincoln

ps.. socialism sucks.

That was a great job.

Hey Gluzman!
I don't think I've reviewed your stuff before, and its about time I did
Since the grammatical errors have been pointed out, I think I shall leave that alone

Well, to be frank, I've not been a fan of your previous lyrics, (Heavy metal and lots of angst doesn't exactly appeal much to me), but this could very well be your magnum opus.
This would really be cool if it had a tune to it, and I'd definitely be one to listen to it
My favourite stanza is the last one, which I think ended off the song very nicely.

One thing I noticed, "As flower petals turn grey"
Technically, they turn brown, but I'll leave it up to your imagination to paint the picture

Gah, I guess that wasn't really a review o_o
I'll give you one another time, if you'd like. Just PM me the link.
(Note: I'm still not a heavy metal, hard rock, angsty nor emo type of lyric appreciator XD)

We need more meaningful songs like this. Keep up the great work!
~Have an awesome day, and Gold Star for you!
Meep(:
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P.S: Amniel, there is such a thing as "beet". It's an edible plant