To Lily

Juniper · 2009-01-28T03:22:31Z

To my best friend Lily That day, When I told you how stupid you were, and I said that you needed to grow up, and move on I didn't really mean it. I was foolish, and stupid and I spoke before I thought. I didn't mean it. And, now, I wish I never breathed a single word I regretted it, I really did. But, I thought you needed to hear it I didn't pick up the phone, dial your number, and say the words that replayed at the back of my head: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry It was my phone that rang. And your number flashed on the orange screen. I ignored it. I was stupid. And I went to bed, hating myself. It was four a.m. when it rang again; I never woke to the telephone before, but as it rang, continuous, besides my bed, I reached for it and when I saw your house number, my heart jumped and I almost didn't answer But I did. And your mother was screaming and crying and asking me why I tried to understand her; My ears wouldn't listen, Maybe I could have, If I tried-- but then; She's dead The world stopped turning at that moment, My ears stopped working completely, My hands couldn't hold the phone anymore; It fell to the floor. I was frozen; the world was silent, but Your moms voice replayed in my head. Over and over and over again Remember the little ceramic statue of the two friends in the grass that played music when you winded it up? You gave it to me when I was twelve. I picked that up and I threw it, sending it across the room into a million pieces. I didn't regret it, because my heart was shattered into so much more. I didn't go back to sleep. My feet walked downstairs, and out of the front door, they were bare, and I walked right down to the creek and right onto it. Lily, if the water hadn't frozen, I would be beneath the surface right now trying to wash away the guilt and the grief. I fell asleep on the bank; I didn't feel the cold. And when the sun rose, I awoke in my own bed. Nobody understands me now; and Nobody can take your place; I wish you could live, just one more day, so that I can tell you, I'm sorry and how much you mean to me. Maybe you would change your mind, and not end it all so soon; Lily, if I could tell you one more thing, It would be that, I've forgiven you, and I love you, and you forever have a spot in my heart. And even though we're separated by life and death You're still close to me maybe closer than you were, before you ended your life, with my necklace around your neck.

LightOfTheDawn

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Points 890

Reviews 4

Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:22 pm

LightOfTheDawn says... · Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:22 pm

A beautifully simplistic style... A heart-rendering, somber story. I am so sorry for what happened to Lily and what heart-ache you had to go through. May she rest in peace =*(.
This is a lovely dedication to her, though. I bet she's smiling down at you now for such a forgiving poem.
Keep up the good work, hun. xoxo

* Catch a Falling Star
* Put It in Your Pocket
* Never Let It Fade Away...
~~ SAVEITFORARAINYDAY...~~

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Anshita

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Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:00 pm

Anshita says... · Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:00 pm

OMG..this is perfect. I don't have words fro this poem. its simply awesome.
Ans seeing that this happened to you in real life. OMG. I am so sorry. I was literally crying as i was reading the poem. :smt089

~ Anshita

If love is rude to you, be rude to love.

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gamechanger10

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Points 890

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Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:35 pm

gamechanger10 says... · Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:35 pm

This is a very strong, meanful poem.
Loads of emotion and all that jazz.

Sorry, I sound pretty shallow right now.

Anyhow, this was very touching and conveyed your guilt and anguish perfectly.
Beast job.

-Jocelyn

"The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." -Mark Twain

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emotionally(un)stable

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Reviews 16

Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:40 am

emotionally(un)stable says... · Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:40 am

I really like this poem, its full of raw emotion. I literally cried reading it.
It's such a sad thing and even sadder that it's true. It portrays your guilt and mourning very well.
I've been through an all too similar event and i know how incredibly difficult it must be for you to write about this but its amazing especially under the circumstances. Good luck and I'm so sorry.

We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box.

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Hailey_Ann

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Points 890

Reviews 33

Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:50 am

Hailey_Ann says... · Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:50 am

Hello June!!

I thought I'd drop by and leave you a comment (since you've commented on some of my pieces), and.....I found this....

Wow...This poem was so tragic, but then again, so beautifully crafted. I really think you did a magnificent job on this wonderful poem!! I have NOTHING bad to say about this poem and I don't see one thing I think you should change!! This poem was truly great, maybe one of the best I've read in a long time. You had great wording and imagery, and I as the reader felt the heartache of the girl (or guy). I loved the theme of this poem and am very happy you chose to write a poem like this. My favorite thing about this poem though is that the emotion just leaps out at you, and grabs you completely! I'm pleased to have reviewed this poem!!

Keep up the great work!! Thanks for reviewing my poems as well!! Can't wait to read more from you!

~*Hailey,<3

~*Summers filled with breaking the rules and standing apart, ignoring your head, and following your heart. <3*~

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Selin

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Points 1196

Reviews 9

Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:43 pm

Selin says... · Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:43 pm

Hey, June; it's Selin here!

I still am not sure why did I choose this piece of your work to review, but I can say that when I see something very touching and full of emotions; I can't let myself just go to another page.

I am really sorry about your loss; in every meaning, that is a loss for you both material and the most important; losing your best friend; no, it shouldn't be that way.

I admired your braveness and decisiveness about writing such a wound down, must have taken a while.

I know, this is not a review but as the others said; nothing to actually say. The only one who can exactly have an idea of such an event is you, so...

But I can't say keep going that way even if I think that is a great poem. I hope and wish; you will never live such things; if you will; I wish you will be able to struggle and go on your way like it seems you did before.

Bye for now,
Selin

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MiriamHannah

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Points 1880

Reviews 73

Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:22 am

MiriamHannah says... · Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:22 am

Amazing. I can't really speak. It's emotionally charged and beautifully told. For once I can't actually say something you need to improve on, because there isn't anything. I'm so sorry that this is true, because I can't even imagine what you could have gone through. You are inspirational for writing it down, and unbelievably talented for writing it as you did.

:star:

Miriam

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment - Bill Bailey, can sometimes be seen scurrying towards a fast food outlet.

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ThisIsAUserName

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Points 1068

Reviews 39

Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:37 am

ThisIsAUserName says... · Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:37 am

I don't even know you, but after reading your poem I found myself wishing I could comfort you in some way. If you can have that affect (effect?) on people, you must be an outstanding poet. I really don't cry much.

Don't stop doing what you're doing! That's all the criticism I can really offer.

*gold star*, without question.

In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the deathbed whereon it must expire,
Consumed by that which it was nourished by.
(Exerpt from Shakespearean Sonnet Number 73)

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