I was a small child, then an adult and finally I was old. Then I died and my life truly started, never before had I lived in a second and never again would I live at all. We all die only once, but the experience is well worth the life we have to live before it.
The day of my death was nothing truly spectacular; my family came to visit, which while being slightly out of the ordinary was nothing to write home about. Of course my bloody snot nosed grandson would probably tell me it was worth a facebook status. He'd even brought his games console to play on while they ‘visited me’. My daughter in law just kept nodding with a phoney sad look on her face as I told her that the nurses were trying to kill me. She thought I was lying or imagining things. I thought that too to be completely honest not that they'll ever know. Don’t go away with the impression that I hated my family though, I loved them but that doesn't mean have to like them
Anyway, they escaped from my moaning as soon as they could without being obvious and I went for a walk. By walk I mean I stumbled around the garden like a 7-legged spider and then I lowered myself into a deck chair and fell asleep in the sun. I woke up with that damm nurse shaking me telling me I’d fallen asleep in the sun.
“Of course I’ve fallen asleep in the sun, I’m old. That’s what old people do,” I told her grumpily.
“Well, it’s dinner time so get a drink and eat.” She replied as she manhandled me into the kitchen. I decided to tell her not to do that.
“Don’t manhandle me women.” I said glad how clearly I had explained my thoughts “I can get there myself,” I couldn’t of course the sun had truly made me weak. “What’s your name again?”
“Nurse Baker, Nurse Sarah Baker.”
“I’m sure I remember that name.” I said, not so sure that I did.
“I’ve told you it quite a few times.” Smiling as she brought me to a chair. I didn’t like that smile.
11:59 PM Age 87
I woke just in time to see Nurse Sarah Baker bringing a pillow down to my face, a wild look in her eyes and her tongue licking her lips.
11:59 AM Age 10
I ran into the park, the flowers seemed bright and interesting, my mother had brought a kite but the wind wasn't strong enough, though she’d try to get it flying anyway.
I was laughing. A lot.
11:59 PM Age 17
My first snog. I was a late starter. I didn’t really fancy the girl, but I knew she fancied me, we’d go out for a while but I never really treated her right. I remember other people laughing as the saw us. They were laughing a lot. Maybe I looked really bad at it. I probably was.
11:59 AM Age 33
The words "I do" left my lips. We had kissed before the clock struck 12:00.
11:59 PM Age 33
I cheated on my new wife that same evening with the maid who cleaned our honeymoon sweet. At the time I finished quickly because she might have come back. I later found out that she was fucking someone else. Not that anyone ever forgave me; perhaps it was because it was on our hotel room bed. As I lay on the bed, a while after the made had left waiting for my wife I realised I hadn't laughed for a while.
11:59 AM Age 47
I piped my rival to become manager of a company, which sold Viagra, a product I was happy to have a discount on later in my life. I can’t remember his name.
11:59 PM Age 52
Lying unconscious on the floor with cocaine and whiskey around me and a poor girl, I can’t remember her name, not even sure I ever knew it, was in the room screaming as she thought I was dead. The divorce quickly followed my recovery and the rehabilitation clinic was the first in a long line. Also the cheapest, the company payed for it.
11:59 AM Age 60
I had my first heart attack. You are most likely to have them in the morning as your blood is thicker. I think that’s the right way round. Anyway it was the first not the last. The doctor who treated me bruised my arm as he injected me one time during my recovery. Not only that but it was the wrong stuff, meant that I had to stay an extra week in hospital(a whole week). I sued the ass off him and he never practised again. I can’t remember his name.
11:59 AM Age 66
The last person I ever fired, probably should have told him as soon as he came in, but I was playing Tetris for a couple of hours first. He later killed himself; even so I can’t remember his name. It was 56 years since I'd truly laughed, I didn't care though I was rolling in money. Fuck laughing.
And then I was back in the room, the white pillow hadn’t been washed and it tasted disgusting in my mouth. The nurse was moving it around and my spittle was rubbing around my face. I couldn’t help but think that this was what I had always been heading for. Maybe she was the daughter of that guy I’d fired, a friend of the wife I cheated on, related to the girl in the room who never recovered or the daughter of that Doctor I'd sued...
Or maybe she was just a psychopath and my previous life made no difference to my end. Either way my life was more interesting in the snapshots than in the movie and as I died I smiled… this bullshit was finally over.
Also, get rid of the caps. Use italics or nothing at all. Just looks cheap and amateurish, not very professional at all.