Staccato Slut

:Edits in Italics:

if only you could calm me down
in my damned staccato lifestyle
cos i'm tired of all you've never given
and i'm tired of losing you to those other...girls
i hate to say i need you
when it feels so damned unrelated
but with all this that i'm feeling
i'll say it all the same
youre so bloody loyal that there's no hope for me
at least if you were a
'serial monogamist' i could get you to myself...sometimes
so don't smile at me, please

Well...my first post, but not my first poem. It's rather short, but I don't know...Makes it simpler? Oh yeah...and I have a thing for writing (...) a lot so...just ignore this silly habit of mine

Thanks

Edited 6/12/04

i don't read this as poem, i read it as lyrics. i can actually hear it playing in my head with a slow-ish tempo and lots of bass and a gravely voiced angry -girl rocker singing. awesome.

youre so bloody loyal that there's no hope for me

contradicts

and i'm tired of losing you

is this guy a jerk who runs away, or someone who just won't let you go?

aha! I see what you mean. It doesnt exactly..make sense because I'm guessing i left out the bits you'd need to know for it to make sense! Hah..this is me...always only time enough to tell half a story because everyone stops listening. And I appreciate the song lyrics comment, I try and put music to things every once in a while, but never seems to work. I'll edit it, with the bits you need to know.

It's basically a guy, who always lets me go for another girlfriend - and how I don't want to care about them, and still 'fool around' if you catch my drift.

I'm not the best at telling stories. Not a lot of practise due to above reason. I generally give up, hah.

Thanks for pointing that out.
Cheers!

Wow, good, that was great.

That did seem like lyrics, instead of a poem. Kind of like a song. But mostly, (isntead of slow tempo said by Avalon), to me it seemed more of a fast rock/punk kind of song.

Hmm, it does seem like a guy running away or girl... thats why it is named staccato slut. Very good and deep, and dark.

I think its an /1o job....damn it, my eight key doesn't work so bare with me, will you! Eight/1o.

*cocks eyebrow* when did i say it was techno?

i think this was a very interesting poem...however i believe that the title kinda brought the value down...it just didn't mean that much to me, really. i'm not one of profane words...which is just me, of course. anyways, the poem itself was great.

Yeah, I too think that the title was kind of bland and just brought the whole poem down. But, the whole poem was really, really good though.