Soulmate

Soulmate


An Autumn afternoon,
I sat on the porch alone-
When I suddenly saw you walk round the corner,
My heart leapt with joy,
I went in your pursuit,
But you had gone...
Leaving me alone;
But then I heard your laugh behind me-
So sweet and pure
I could not resist its lure.
I ran in search of you,
But you had disappeared into the blue-
Loneliness engulfed me, my heart filled with despair
For I had searched for you everywhere,
But you had left me and gone away,
To the myriad land of dreams, the place where land meets day
Abruptly, a rustle broke my reverie, the sound of shoes on the autumn leaves
And my heart filled with hope
I hastened towards the noise, I was sure I would see you,
And finally, there you were standing in the shade of a tree-
Your arms outstretched
I ran blindly towards you,
But suddenly I tripped, I fell,
And when I stood up, you were gone...
My eyes filled with tears,
The shadows of loneliness claimed my soul
When suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder-
I turned, and saw your radiant face, shining through the gloom,
I smiled, for I realised
That you had always been by my side-
A true friend...

So I'll just get right to it.

An Autumn afternoon,
I sat on the porch alone-
When I suddenly saw you walk round the corner,

In the last line, "suddenly" seems a bit misplaced.
The second line's hyphen seems unneeded; maybe a comma would be better placed.

My heart leapt with joy,
I went in your pursuit,
But you had gone...
Leaving me alone;
But then I heard your laugh behind me-
So sweet and pure
I could not resist its lure.

First line, the comma doesn't work unless you have a conjunction.
The third line is good but the fourth doesn't work with it.
"So sweet and pure,
I could not resist it's lure." The comma connects it.

I ran in search of you,
But you had disappeared into the blue-
Loneliness engulfed me, my heart filled with despair
For I had searched for you everywhere,
But you had left me and gone away,
To the myriad land of dreams, the place where land meets day

After "despair," there needs to be a comma.
There needs to be a period after "day."

Abruptly, a rustle broke my reverie, the sound of shoes on the autumn leaves
And my heart filled with hope
I hastened towards the noise, I was sure I would see you,
And finally, there you were standing in the shade of a tree-
Your arms outstretched

Semi-colon after "noise" instead of the comma.
Comma after "were" instead of "finally."
Period after "outstretched."

I ran blindly towards you,
But suddenly I tripped, I fell,
And when I stood up, you were gone...
My eyes filled with tears,
The shadows of loneliness claimed my soul

Period after "soul."

When suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder-
I turned, and saw your radiant face, shining through the gloom,
I smiled, for I realised
That you had always been by my side-
A true friend...

I really like this last line.
There isn't really anything wrong with it.

This was a very well written poem.
Other than some grammatical errors, it's awesome.
Good job.

~Rachel

Hello,
Welcome to YWS! I'm happy to be your reviewer for today With what the person before me said I thought this poem was very well written and enjoyable.

I just wanted to inform you that we only have one rule around here and that is before you post a work of your own you have to review two other pieces of work, it's a 2:1 ratio so everyones work is reviewed and critqued:) If you have any questions please feel free to pm me. And if you ever need anything to review please pm as well.

Keep working hard

-Tiffany

This really is a well written poem. It really shows that you care about your friend and vice versa.