1st Person, Dialogue?

Okay so I am writing a killer short(actually it's a rather long short) and am writing from the first person perspective. Here's the problem I neva-eva-eva-eva-eva write from first person and seem to be following all my speech(from the MC that is) with "I". Here is a couple examples straight from the story.

“Whadya got there?” I struggle to see below the surface

“There ya go boy. Even the polize 'ill probably let ya keep that'un.” I exclaim.

“Keep your tip up. Watch so he don't circle that stump. There ya go, reel.” I advise

So whats the fix here? Magic wand anyone?

Firstly, your dialogue punctuation's off--I'd check out the rules if you're not sure.

Anyway, are you saying you keep putting "I", and find it annoying? Well, firstly, think of the standard, ordinary rules. You could rearrange the verb and the pronoun, or you could put it at the start, or just be violent and remove the unnecessary speech tags.

For example:

The exclamation escapes my mouth: "There ya go boy. Even the polize 'ill probably let ya keep that'un!"

"Keep your tip up," I advise. "Watch so he don't circle that stump. There ya go, reel."

I hope I helped.

'I' is a mostly invisible word, anyway, just like 'he' or 'she' or '[insert character name here]'. Don't worry about that.

“Whadya got there?” I struggle to see below the surface.
“Whadya got there?” he struggles to see below the surface.

“There ya go boy. Even the polize 'ill probably let ya keep that'un,” I exclaim.
“There ya go boy. Even the polize 'ill probably let ya keep that'un,” he exclaims.

“Keep your tip up. Watch so he don't circle that stump. There ya go, reel,” I advise.
“Keep your tip up. Watch so he don't circle that stump. There ya go, reel,” he advises.

Also remember that you don't need to use a speech tag everytime. If the reader already knows whos speaking, you can always just leave the dialogue on its own, if you like. Like:

“Keep your tip up. Watch so he don't circle that stump. There ya go, reel.”

Also, I know this isn't what you were asking about, but try to avoid varying your speech tags too often. In my opinion, 'advise' and 'exclaim' aren't really needed there - you could just use 'said' instead (and 90% of the time, you should use 'said' instead of another tag). 'Said' is another invisible word - the reader's eye will skip right over it - but the other speech tags aren't. By using other ones, you're bringing the reader's attention to your writing craft, rather than to the dialogue, which isn't really what you want.

Oh, and as Blink said, watch your dialogue punctuation. Here's a basic guide on the subject - I think someone posted a more comprehensive one too, but I can't seem to find it right now.


Hope that helped. ^_^ If not, feel free to ask any questions you might have.

Thats an problem many writers face when they transition between writing in the first person, then the third.
You just have to be careful when writing tags like that to add an I instead of a HE.
You know what your doing wrong, now all you have to do is catch yourself in the act and try to fix it. It's pretty basic. All your have to do is get into habbit of using I instead of the name or pronoun.
There is no magic wand.
sorry.
Good Luck with your writing.

Just don't use tags.

Don't use tags too much if you want the dialogue to flow well. Only use it if neccessary or if you think the reader needs a breather.

Most forms of speech is ABAB. More than two people and you need to use tags for almost every person speaking.

But you don't always have to use 'said'. The "safe words" can be: replied, announced, whispered, etc. Some words that can bring confusion to the reader are: screamed, crowed, chortled, laughed.

There isn't much of a magic wand where you can go biddity-boddity-boo or whatever. But just master the areas you need work in and you'll be writing like the greats.

If and when you do decide to use tags, make sure they don't intrude into the scene. Trying too hard and coming out with things like "he averred" sounds pretentious and so isn't going to do you many favours. Authors like Graham Greene used "said" all the time and it never ever got repetitive. Say more with less!