Kids in the playground

This is literature at its best! The story was absolutely beautiful, I loved the way you created a peaceful, innocent image in my head, that grew stronger and stronger until the one sentence ruins everything and I realized what the point of the story was.
It was great.

Hi there!

This works really well. Although I was drawn in by the bi-line. Serious lack of onion rings in this piece. I digress.

I think we've all been in this situation. Life sucks sometimes. And I'm only seventeen. I'm too young to say "back in my day..."

You're scene setting is really nice. The whole piece is perfect lengthwise - don't try to expand it. The only thing I would say is cut it either after the horribl child's cursing or with "my smile fades." People already know what you mean in the final lines, so there's not much need to say it. Far cleaner to end it sooner.

That was brilliant.
The end was totally unexpected.
But you are right.
Society is targeting younger and younger kids.
These words that no one should even know exsist till high school already know in middle or elemenatry school.
This conveys a great message!
Keep up the good work!
And a gold star...you earned it! =]

Without the last part, it would have been nothing but mere nostalgia.

Not going to try to find grammar errors, 'cause well, I'm not that good at English.

I feel like, if there would have been music to this, it would have been carnival music, coming form a merry go around, accompanying the kids their joy and carelessness. The part at the end, where the boy speaks, would have been when the music would have come to a stop with an awfully screeching sound, and the merry go around would have stopped turning.

It really feels that way, as if you're in an almost fairy-like world (childhood), until you're suddenly dragged back into reality.


Regarding the subject: having them live in there own careless little world with only sunshine and smiles, until one day, they're suddenly launched into the cruel "real world" with all its violence etc. wouldn't do any good either, though. You can't protect kids from everything.