Not So Good

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
why does it matter
what goes on in your room
on the side of the bed
that no one sees?
does it matter
if you're alone
and writing of a suicide?
the ink spots the carpet,
and the floor is weaker here
your head's against the bed
and hands are trembling.
you don't know where it's going
when she knocks on your door
and says you broke something.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Gender Male
Points 18178
Reviews 1259
Too vague and proasic for my tastes. I have no idea who "she" is near the end. You don't make enough profound comments to make this strong at all, and nothing stuck with me.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
I've really been experimenting with a different kind of writing lately. Perhaps it wasn't such a good thing because now all of my poems remain a mystery and are empty.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.



all of my friends talk to me like a dog rooting through a trashcan
— winterwolf0100