Turncoat -- Prologue

All right, I'm finally gonna post it. Critiques are very very welcome!
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Despian cautiously knocked on the large iron door of the Blacklion's lair. Without an answer he slowly opened the door. The room was much darker than any of the hall ways in the castle, only a few candles scattered on the desk glowed in the shadows.
And in these shadows sat the Blacklion, king of Singnero. His silvery blue eyes seemed to bore into Despian, unnerving him as he slowly closed the door.
"What do you want?" He rumbled angrily. He folded his hands across his chest and leaned back into his chair.
"General Millennium just left for Linkeep." Despian explained.
"You didn't tell him anything...unnecessary, did you?" The Blacklion asked, leaning forward a bit. "The results would be most unfortunate."
Despian knew to well the results, growing up inside the walls of the Blacklion's castle.
"Of course not." He said, turning back towards the door,
“This plan must not fail, Despian. I will brake the habit this world has fallen into.”
Despian said nothing as he slipped through the door way. As the door shut he leaned back on it and sighed.
This plan was not to his liking, and if General Millennium knew more it would never have gotten this far.

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yeah, its short, chapters get longer though.

This is a really excellent piece. The only mistake that I could see was this one:

“This plan must not fail, Despian. I will brake the habit this world has fallen into.”

The way you spelled "brake" is wrong. Its actually spelled "break" in this instance. Though "brake" is still a word.

That was basically all I could find, and I hope you keep writing this because I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of it. Happy writing!

- Claeren

Hiya Elf! I thought this was pretty interesting from all that I've read,

Without an answer, he slowly opened the door.

You forgot that comma, hon.

Despian knew to well the results, growing up inside the walls of the Blacklion's castle.

Wrong type of two/to/too. The one in this sentence is supposed to be too.

As the door shut, he leaned back on it and sighed.

Comma there.

This plan was not to his liking, and if General Millennium knew more, it would never have gotten this far.

Comma there, because without it, it would not make sense.

I thought this is a good idea, so I can't wait to see what else you do with this.
Dialogue Punctuation - You didn't use proper dialogue punctuation throughout the whole post. You only used periods, where in some places, you needed to put commas.

"General Millennium just left for Linkeep. Right here" Despian explained.

You are always using periods in that spot, and you shouldn't do that every single time. There is a rule for it.
Whenever you say, he said, she said, they said, Angie said, Cat said, Elf said, or anything like that, you use a comma in the Right here spot.

And it just doesn't have to say Cat said. It could be, Cat explained, Cat asked, Cat questioned, Cat commented....stuff like that.

Do you understand?

If you don't, feel free to PM me if you have any questions or comments or anything.

*Cat

If you don't, or

Hiya Elf! Couldn't resist critiquing this.

Without an answer he slowly opened the door.

This line confused me slightly. It makes me feel like he's about to snoop around the room. When you say that there is somebody inside, I wonder why the person did not answer.

The room was much darker than any of the hall ways in the castle; only a few candles scattered on the desk glowed in the shadows.

I would replace "hall ways" with "halls" to make it seem like this is an actual room, not a passage between rooms.

Something about "glowed in the shadows" feels incomplete to me. Yes, it brings the image of a very dark room to mind, but I would like to see more. Does the light cause more shadows to be created then banished? Does the flickering glow play off rows of papers and books on the desk or on shelves around the room? How does the light play on the Blacklion's face?

Grammar correction in bold

Despian knew to well the results,

I would suggest adding "all" after "knew" to make this a little clearer.

turning back towards the door,

This feels inaccurate to me. It is not good protocol to turn your back on the ruler of the country, unless the person turning his/her back has a very good relationship with their ruler.

~~

Hook- As a hook, this was really good. We are left with just enough questions to whet are appetite, but not so many that we are put off.

Atmosphere- The candles were a really well-played introduction that set the tone for everything else. You can feel the slight edge to all the words and the entire meeting thanks to those candles. Like I said in my nit-pick, I'd like to see a little more on them. I would also like to see more fear on Despian's part as he's talking to the Blacklion.

Tags- Here, you touch on a pet peeve of mine: Using tags after the dialogue only. You can start a "dialogue paragraph" with some sort of action, and if the action is done well then you don't need to put any sort of "said tag" after to give the tone of voice. For example, these lines:

"Of course not." He said, turning back towards the door,

Become these lines:

He turned back towards the door. "Of course not."

I find this tag a little easier to read because it actually has tense. Also, if you replace "said tags" with "action tags," then you have more room for giving a little more life into your characters. Even though these characters are well done and there is not much room for more description, you could still highlight some more of Despian's emotion, since he is the viewpoint character here.

Questions I am asking:

Good questions (ones that make me keep reading): What is the plan, what Despian's part in it will be, who the turncoat is, who General Millennium is.

Bad questions (ones that make me stop and scratch my head): What the relationship is between Despian and the Blacklion is. Because Despian turned his back on the king we think that Despian is pretty high ranking, but we don't get any indication of that. Nor do we get any sort of emotion off of him. Does Despian fear the Blacklion? Hate him? Is duty-bound to serve him? Just give us a little more on Despian and this will really grab readers and not let them go.

Overall- I found this to be a really well-written piece that introduces things very well. Just add a little more on Despian and this will be an amazing start to a story.

P.S.- I just have to comment on the name Despian. I love it!

Aside from a few grammar and spelling errors (which have already been pointed out so i wont repeat them) this is pretty good. I really like the names you have. They seem unique without being too outrageous. It has potential. And for a prologue i think it's a good length if you were worried about that. Keep writing =)