a note: im not done editing it just yet; i was just a little too excited about posting it. enjoy
Eternal Love
My life has been simple and normal since I was a child, I left my parents house, because
I was honestly sick of hearing… and watching them fight. So I left to live with my bother and his girlfriend. Eighteen was an old enough age to leave, and I didn’t really mind living with my brother at all, I had already graduated high school, and was accepted into a literacy college not far from his house. I had lived there for only about two months, when they decided to move to the states for a while because of my brothers job. Since I didn’t want to leave Mother and Father behind, but didn’t want to live with them, my brother's girlfriend told me to live with her friend Aarin.
PREFACE
I never once dreamed that I would be in this sort of situation. He came into my life like oxygen.
Effortlessly, like nature all in itself. I wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen, but as long as he was at my side, I didn’t need to be afraid. He was my breath. My oxygen.
Chapter One
Always Expect The Unexpected.
My eyes opened to the bright sunlight coming through the clear, wide glass.
I didn’t really like the fact the my bed was right in front of the window, it had
always bothered me. I squinted, looked at the small clock on my bedside
table, and groaned at what the time said. Seven thirty in the morning.
I threw the blankets over my head, shielding me from the light
and covered me in darkness, for a moment..
That light won’t bother me anymore, now that I’m moving.
I wonder what it will be like living with Aarin.
I turned to my side, the blankets still devouring me in darkness, and sighed.
At least I’ll get out of brothers hair.
Suddenly I heard the door open, making that irritating squeaky sound I hated so
much. “Ikira, get up. If your moving today you have to get up at a decent hour!”
I groaned under my breath.
I know I’m moving today, dumb ass.
“Yes, yes I know brother. Ill get up as soon as my legs decide to move.”
“Hurry it up Ikira. Aarin is not a patient person.”
Miyaskie left the room without another word.
I took the covers off of my head, and glared at the sunlight.
I changed quickly into a blue button up t-shirt and black jeans.
My things were already in brothers black jeep.
I didn’t have much, just clothes, and books.
I greeted Riyu as I walked down the stairs into the kitchen. She looked beautiful as usual.
Her long brown hair draped on her shoulders, her light brown eyes
looked at me with joy when she handed me breakfast. She was
wearing a bright blue dress that hugged her curves all around her slim body.
Miyaskie’s girlfriend was absolutely gorgeous.
I ate quickly, the boiling food burning my mouth as I ate. I thanked her gave her a hug goodbye,
and ran out the door without another word. Brother was waiting for me in the car.
I jumped in and he drove off, over the speed limit.
It was uncomfortably quiet, until Miyaskie broke the silence.
“When do you plan on visiting me?”
When I looked over, he was smiling.
“Ugh. I-I don’t know.”
“Well, your not working on Thursday right? You and Aarin can come for dinner then.” He paused.
That was only four days away..
“I’ll invite mom and dad as well, we’ll be moving pretty soon, so I want to have a good-bye dinner.”
“Right, we’ll be there, if it’s okay with Aarin.”
“He’ll be happy to join us.”
“Okay.”
The car ride was silent for the rest of the time.
We finally arrived at his house.
It seemed like it took forever to get there.
As I opened the door Miyaskie held me back for a moment.
“I talked with Aarin over the phone last night, you don’t
have to pay much to live there, he’s being really generous about this, so don’t blow it.”
He winked at me, and I gave him an irritated look.
I got out of the car, shut the door behind me, and waved good-bye as he drove away back to Riyu.
The house was extremely large.
the sun reflected on its peachy coloured paint making
the place almost sparkle.
I rang the doorbell, and he answered the door within the minute.
He looked to beautiful to be real, not that I like guys or anything but he
truly was gorgeous. His pale skin shined in the light. He was tall
dark, slender, and his face didn’t really hold any expression that I could see.
His silky dark reddish brown hair went down to about his neck, his perfect lips
attempted a smile, but he just couldn’t get it right I guess.
When his dark brown eyes stared into mine, I couldn’t help but look at him in wonder.
My heart started beating out of my chest when he started talking.
“You must be Ikira.”
His voice sounded a bit dull, but warm. It sounded almost as if he talked in a low whisper.
“Y-yeah. Thank you for letting me live here.”
“Come on in.”
He walked back into the house expecting me to follow.
My eyes widened in surprise when I saw his extremely spacious house.
There was so much room!
The living area was the first thing you see when you opened the door.
The kitchen hidden behind a short wall, so I couldn’t really see it until I went further into the hallway. The stairs were to the right, and the dinning room
was to the left hand corner, beside the living room.
“Wow! This is amazing!”
I was a little embarrassed. I was pretty over exited about living in such
a nice place. He must be rich!
The huge, long glass windows in the living room brightened the house,
it almost made it shine.
It was very clean, I didn’t see any reason why he didn’t use up the space in his house.
“Fell free to use anything in the house, its both of ours to share.”
Aarin sat down on a high chair in the kitchen.
There was a small brown island in front of the sink.
He grabbed the newspaper and opened it to the first page.
Without even looking at me he began to talk in his soft, deep voice.
“My bedroom is the only one in this house, so well have to share it, luckily
for you there’s two closets, yours is on the left, go put your things away whenever you want.”
“Okay.”
I went up the small planks of stairs, and there was only two doors.
I opened the first one closest to the stairs.
Bathroom.
It was a nice bathroom, big, clean organized, light walls, a bath tub in the middle,
toilet to the side, I closed the door, knowing that I would come back to that room soon enough,
and opened the second door down the hall.
It was dark but I could see.
It was a beautiful bedroom, a chair in the corner, large bed in the middle, bedside
tables and lamps here and there.
There were two large, long, windows on the same wall as the bed.
There wasn’t a lot of light coming through though. The windows were open letting in a small
breeze, making the curtains blow occasionally.
I dropped my bag, pulled it over to my closet
and placed in in the corner. I closed the closet door and headed back downstairs.
As I was walking I realized that I was going to have to sleep in the same bed as Aarin.
Which freaked me out. Sleeping in the same bed as him doesn’t mean anything.. Right?
I shook my head and ran the rest of the way downstairs, hoping I left that thought behind me.
But it stuck in my brain when I saw him.
He was wearing a long sleeved white button up shirt, and black pants.
I guessed he gotten himself a drink while I was exploring the house, he stretched his arm,
placed the glass in the sink, looked over at me and slowly rose to his feet.
Aarin was a lot taller then I expected.
He was about 4 years older then me, so he was roughly 22 years old.
He walked up to me, placed his hands on my shoulders and spoke two simple words
“Welcome Home.”
My heart started beating out of my chest again, that thump thumping sound
pumping in my head. I wasn’t sure what my face looked like at the time.
Why is my body doing this to me?
“Thank you.”
He showed me to the puffy blue couch in the living area and we sat beside
each other, very close.
He leaned forward, placed his arms on his knees and looked at me, with a lifeless
expression. “How do you like the house?”
“It’s great.” My voice cracked when I spoke.
Damn it all ! Why cant I act normal around him. Maybe its because
its my first day here, or ? …
My heart started thumping again.
I breathed in deeply and let out a sigh.
“Something wrong?”
“Oh!”
I jumped when I realized he heard me.
I looked away from him, a little embarrassed
“N-no, its just..”
I felt his hand touch my chin lightly.
He turned my head, his face nearly an inch away form
mine. His eyes looked right through me with a hidden emotion, they were almost dark.
“You can tell me anything, I’m always here to listen.. Ikira.”
I felt like I was in a trance, I could feel blood leaving my face,
My head felt hot, and I felt dizzy, the sound of my heart pumping
faster made the pain in my head even worse.
His eyes looked concerned.
He released his light grip from my rosy chin.
I tried calming down, but my body refused. Breath evenly..
Why am I acting like this, its pissing me off.
My eyes dropped down slightly, I looked away form him, trying to calm down a second time.
“Are you feeling alright? Do you need a nap?”
When he touched me again, it made me loose control.
His cold hand touched my burning forehead, then slid down to my left cheek.
My burning head felt better when his cold hand touched it, my face turned towards him again,
but I closed my eyes, I knew if I looked into his eyes I would start loosing my cool again.
Suddenly I felt the couch shift as he leaned closer towards me.
Then I lost it, when he pushed his forehead against mine,
his left hand combing through my ruffled hair.
I gasped for air when I couldn’t breathe and tried to get away
from him, but his other hand gripped my arm, not hard, but
tight enough that I couldn’t escape his grasp. I closed my eyes tighter,
hoping that he would release me soon. His head moved towards my ear,
and he spoke to me in a low heavenly whisper.
“You’re burning up, do you want to rest?”
I didn’t say anything. For a moment I could barley breathe with him so close to me.
I knew he was looking at me, even with my eyes closed, I could feel it. Just
breathe, relax, calm down! I felt myself loose consciousness, and faint into his arms.
I woke up in the bedroom what felt like a minute later. How long was I out for? I felt a cool
cloth on my forehead. Then I realized that I couldn’t have brought myself up here, put a cloth on my head and went to sleep. How could I have been so stupid!!!!! Ah! I’m so pissed at myself right now! … At least things didn’t get too out of hand.. This is a bad start.. I sighed deeply and got up. I walked slowly down the stairs, rubbed my eyes, and yawned. I could hear laughing behind me when I entered the kitchen. I jumped, the sound really scared me. I started freaking out, and turned around, when I saw him smile for the first time, my heart sank. My eyes went wide when I saw him walk closer to me, I tried to back away but I was frozen and unable to move. He stopped walking when he was about an inch away from me.
My eyes closed when I felt him feel my forehead again, then combed his fingers
through my hair again, and pressed his forehead lightly on mine.
“Your head is still a little warm.” because your making me….ugh!! Idiot!
“Are you feeling better Ikira?”
I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, half smiling, half concerned.
“Y-yeah.”
I looked down and breathed out when he released me from his grasp again. He walked past me going further into the kitchen to get food from the fridge, I turned around to look at him.
“You must be hungry.”
“Well…Uh..” He started laughing slightly when I was interrupted by my stomach when
it started growling. “I’ll cook you something nice, since its your first night here.”
I just nodded once. I didn’t want to waste my breath so my stomach could interrupt again.
I sat in the living space, and laid on the couch.
About 20 minutes later he spoke again.
“Food is ready.”
Chapter Two
It’s Not Polite To Stare
For a guy, he was an amazing cook. He started smiling when I kept
telling him how good the food was. I felt ridiculous as soon as I realized
I was kind of acting a little strange. I did up the dishes and straightened some
magazines on the living room coffee table.
As soon as I was finished the phone ran.
“Ill get it.”
I walked swiftly over to the island in the kitchen, where the phone was.
“Hello?”
It was Miyaskie.
“How are you doing, Ikira? The place okay for you?”
“It’s great! Aarin has been so kind to me, I wasn’t feeling to good a little while ago and-”
My words spluttered when he interrupted me.
“You, are talking way to fast.” he laughed again.
I went to speak again, but hesitated.
“I’m surprised your getting along so well with him, I haven’t heard that happiness in your voice
since…” he paused and my head dropped as soon as I knew what he was going to say. Since I left mother and father… I knew he regretted almost mentioning it, and changed the subject.
“Well I’m glad to hear your coming through fine there. Aarin isn’t the type
that shows much emotion, you must be something special, if he’s happy around you.”
My eyes widened, my heart raced, and I felt the heat on my face again.
“Well, err-um, I guess.” I tried laughing, to hide the joyful feeling when he said that
I must be something special to Aarin.
Wait.. What am I thinking, why do I feel so happy about that. Do I…?”
I held my breath, covered my mouth, and my eyes watered, I felt my face change from red to purple, my heart pumping in my brain. WHAT WAS I ABOUT TO SAY?!! My muscles loosened, my eyes lowered and I let out a short sigh, breathing as evenly as I could.
“Are you alright, Ikira?”
“Err- yeah, fine. Listen I have to get going, dishes have to be done.”
I laughed a little again and looked over at the sparkling empty sink.
“Alright, I’m glad to hear your helping keep the house clean, I’ll see you on Thursday.” I heard silence after he said that, and assumed that he hung up.
I put the phone back in its place, and shivered when I realized I’d been twirling the
phone cord through my fingers, like a girl. I walked over to the couch sat down,
picked up a magazine, and began to read, to make it seem like I was doing something,
other then thinking about Aarin. For a minute I was kind of into the magazine,
but my mind drifted back to him as soon as he came walking down the stairs,
swiftly, quietly, his hair perfectly straight as he paced himself.
“Who called?”
The sound of his voice made my ears ring.
“Miyaskie, just wondering how I was.”
“Hmm.” He walked over by the couch and sat on the arm, his head turned, looking out the window
and then turned to me, his dark eyes looking deep into mine.
I tried to hide my emotions, and twiddling my thumbs just made it more obvious.
He smiled at me, not showing his teeth, but his lips moved into a perfect upward curve.
His smile made me feel strange. “Aarin isn’t the type
that shows much emotion, you must be something special, if he’s happy around you.”
My brothers words kept repeating in my mind as I looked at Aarin.
I looked down. I saw his expression change into a concerned look as soon as I looked
away from him. He cautiously moved from the arm of the couch to the little
space beside me. “How are you feeling now?”
“Better.”
I looked at him, and his smile was a little faint this time, but it still showed.
“I’m glad.”
He moved a little closer to me, My face starting to get red.
Damn it! I cant let him make me all mushy again I have to do something!
I reacted a little to quick, yawned, stretched my arms, and rubbed my eyes.
“It’s getting late, I think I’m going to go to bed now.”
I got up before he realized what was happening, I acted up a little to quick.
He blinked a few times, looking up at me with his wonderful eyes, a little confused.
“Goodnight..”
He looked away, and I started walking towards the stairs, his next words froze me where
I stood. “I’ll be up there soon.”
I looked back a little dazed and worried, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, ran
a little to fast up the stairs, and closed the bedroom door behind me.
His words rang in my mind over and over again. To my amazement I felt happy,
and then disgusted, because I felt happy. Why me? I lived a normal life, he
shouldn’t be putting this sort of feeling into me, I don’t like Aarin, I don’t like Aarin.
I felt dizzy for a moment, and soon realized that I had been walking in small
circles next to my side of the bed. I didn’t even realize it when I was thinking about him.
I stopped, plopped myself onto my half of the bed, and sighed.
I heard kitchen appliances moving around downstairs, and shuddered.
I laid my body across the bed where I had sat before, I didn’t really care if I was on his side,
until he came in here, with me…. And laid in the same bed.. As me…
I really need to relax.. I turned my body so it was on my side, my head sank into
my fluffy pillow, and my body loosened as soon as I closed my eyes.
Just relax, be calm, breathe. My mind exploded when I pictured Aarin saying that to me.
My heart began to pump rapidly in my head, which had happened a lot today.
He’s coming upstairs. I could hear the slow thumping sounds getting closer.
My eyes tightened and I put my arms out, as if I were sleeping.
I loosened my eyelids trying to make it look like I was actually in a deep sleep.
I breathed evenly, slowly, and for a second, I actually thought I was sleeping.
I heard the door open, and it was too late for me to do anything, I had actually
fallen asleep, without even realizing.
I woke up thinking I was at my brothers home, that everything that happened the day before was just a dream. I was confused though, because there was no light blinding me when I half opened my eyes. The only light I could see was the light coming from behind me, on either side of the bed. I realized that my body was turned to the side, much to close to the side of the bed,
I pushed myself back a little, closed my eyes and turned to my other side.
I tried to fall back asleep, suddenly I felt a warm breath on my face, it smelled so good.
I opened my eyes, still sleepy, and saw him not even an inch away from my face,
our noses almost touching. My face was scorching, I felt as if my heart was going to explode,
it was racing so hard, beating out of my chest. I covered my mouth, It took me by surprise, I wanted to scream. I calmed down, let my heart come back into my chest, and took my
hand off of my mouth. I looked at him, I never really had a good look at him, I always
looked away when he starred at me, but now I had the chance to had a good chance to glance at
every feature of his body, his pale skin, perfect face, dark silky hair. He looked so peaceful as he slept. Almost beautiful. I looked down, my face lightly blushing, and looked back up at him.
This is getting way out of hand, I can’t possibly like him. Is this what ill have to go through
while I live here? I cant even look at him without being…
His body moved a little, and it kind of startled me. his eyes moved a little bit,
and I tried to look away from him before his eyes opened, but I was mesmerized by him.
To my relief his eyes didn’t open and he went back into his perfect slumber.
I sighed and looked back up at him, I realized that I was getting used to being so close to him.
I noticed that I had moved closer to him when I was starring, and I couldn’t budge.
What am I to him?
I tried to let go of that thought, but in had sunken in, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I knew I that I had looked at him long enough, but still I stared, suddenly his face got closer
to mine, his eyes opened and he whispered softly in my ear, in that wonderful voice.
“Good morning, Ikira.” I stayed in that position, and I was frozen where I was.
It all happened so fast, it was almost un-human how quick he moved all at once.
My heart didn’t react as bad as it did before, and I was relieved about that.
He looked a lot different then yesterday when he woke up, his eyes looked heavier.
I didn’t notice he was shirtless before, and when I did notice, my body shook,
but not so much, and I was glad he didn’t notice.
He was still in the same position and I was still frozen, there wasn’t really
anything I could do. I could hear him breathing slowly, deeply, in my ear,
and for a moment I thought he had fallen back asleep.
He moved his body a little closer to mine, not awkwardly but swiftly,
and it didn’t bother me at all, which freaked me out.
If it was some other guy that was this close to me I would’ve been grossed
out but with him.. I feel so… My thoughts were interrupted when his head moved
to the front of my face, our noses touching. He looked deep into my eyes.
I looked at him for a long moment, my eyes shaking, I couldn’t stare back at him straight.
He touched the side of my check. His hands were cold as ice, his touch made my skin shiver..
“You know.” He was still staring deep in my eyes, scorching me with his beauty.
“It’s rude to stare at people, especially when they’re sleeping.”
He smiled down at me. What should I do? What should I say?
I tried to act calm, normal, but I was to jumpy. I looked down,
not looking into his eyes as I spoke, my checks turned a little rosy.
“You… just looked so peaceful… when you slept.”
“hmm.”
He grabbed my chin, and turned my head to his, I gave in and let my head follow where
his hand was directing me to. I knew he was about to stare at me,
with those beautiful eyes, I shut my eyes tight, and held my head back as far as
his hand would let me. But he held his grip, and kept my face very close to his.
“Open your eyes.” his soft voice made my heart skip a beat.
He put his other hand on my check and his forehead to mine.
His cool breath touched my face, I had to obey him.
I opened my eyes slowly, I could feel my cheeks go rosy again.
I looked up at him, our foreheads still touching, and he spoke again.
“Ikira, you really are adorable.”
He looked into my eyes again, more powerfully, more forcefully
then before, making the feeling that I had before more intense.
I looked back into his eyes, much deeper then before, and I felt that something
was about to happen.
We are in the same bed together, and were this close. He closed his eyes, pulled my face as close as it could get with his hand, and he wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me tightly to his body. It was to late, I was being seduced, unable to escape his grasp.
He pulled my face up to his, and before I knew it, our lips were touching.
He was kissing me!
Two men kissing.
But I didn’t pull away, I closed my eyes, and felt my body become warmer against his.
My arms went around his shoulders and I hugged him tight.
My body loosened, my mind was clear, and all I could feel was his lips touch mine.
I felt as if the world was spinning, my heart was racing faster then before,
and it exited me. I never want to leave his side….
We stayed like this for a while, and I didn’t mind at all.
He was the one who broke our lips apart, I was still surprised that he kissed me,
but I didn’t feel weird at all, it was different with him.
I put my head in his shoulder, my hands going through his hair, trying to imitate
what he was doing to my hair yesterday, it just looked stupid when I did it, but I didn’t care,
we were alone and that’s all that mattered.
“Sorry.” I sighed.
“For what?” His soft voice whispering.
“For starring.”
He laughed a In a low whisper.
“you are forgiven.”
I pushed my body back not to hard, but hard enough
to let him know that I was ready to get up.
He held his grip for a minute and released me from his warm grasp.
I sat on the edge of my side of the bed, I could
feel his eyes staring at me in the back of my mind.
I got up and started to walk slowly out of the room.
Before I opened the door, I felt him grab my wrist,
I hadn’t even heard him get out of bed.
The rest was a blur, because it all happened so fast.
He had my back against the wall, his hand over mine, above
our heads, also pressed up against the wall, and he was kissing me,
seducing me once again.
Chapter Three
How Do I Feel?
I tried to escape, but he was to strong. His body felt so cold now.
I felt the room spinning, and he was what was staying in place, I felt so strange.
Most of his body was pressed against mine,
squishing me against the hard wall,
I could barley breathe. His other hand was pressed against the wall,
right beside me. I couldn’t think straight, I
didn’t know what to do, and this was getting serious,
but I knew deep in my heart that I didn’t care. I knew there was something different with him, or maybe.. He was just using me… To be his personal experiment, or just wanted to let it out.. Like he’d been holding in something…Whatever the case, he was seducing me, and it creped me out how I didn’t mind. He was still kissing me, but within a minute, while my heart was about to pop, he pulled his head back, breaking the soft, cool, grip he had on my lips.
I gasped for air, I had been holding it in half of the time. I bent over, my head almost touching
his chest, put my hands on my knees, and tried to get over what had just happened.
I could tell he was looking down at me, I even heard him laugh a little. he patted my head like a dog , and opened the door. With that last touch, he was out of the room, probably going downstairs, to get some breakfast for us. He closed the door as he left the room.
My Body sank to the ground, my back still against the wall. I just sat there, my arms wrapped around my knees my head in between my legs, looking down at the carpet. What should I do? What if he keeps doing this to me? I can’t tell brother, I wont give in, no matter what!
I let out a deep sigh, my breath still cold from when he kissed me the second time.
I tried to calm down, and rose to my feet, hoping my legs wouldn’t give up on me.
My muscles tensed, my legs wobbled, and waited to have the strength to walk.
I didn’t take long, I walked to the bed, fixed the sheets, and straightened the creases
and ruffled lines. I dragged my feet along the carpet, got dressed, and put
my clothes away. I guess I had forgotten to unpack the day before, and it didn’t take to long.
My eyes squinted at the sun as it was rising into the sky, through the glass windows, and
right into the corner of my eye. I covered my face and escaped the light, heading for the door.
I walked down the hallway, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, and turned to the stairs.
It looked black for a minute because my eyes then had to get readjusted to the brightness.
Then the downstairs was sparkling, especially the dark brown hard laminated wood floor.
I walked cautiously down, making sure that I wouldn’t loose my footing.
I kept my head down watching my feet as I went along, forcing myself
not to look up. He could be staring at me. When I reached the last step I stopped,
let out a short sigh, and looked up.
He wasn’t in the living room where I thought he would be.
I found him sitting on the high chair in front of the island, reading the paper
and drinking some tea. He didn’t even seem to notice me come down the stairs.
I walked slowly into the kitchen, watching his every move as I paced myself.
My legs were still a little stiff, and the room felt like it was spinning a little.
I guess I wasn’t fully awake at the time. I need to have a bath, I need to get
this sense of sickness off of my body. I opened the fridge door, and grabbed
some juice. I went to the other side of the kitchen and took a small glass cup.
Then I walked over to the sink, hoping that he would notice me on the other side
and poured the beverage into the clear glass.
I finished drinking within a minute, knowing that he wouldn’t look up,
as if I didn’t exist. I put the juice back into the fridge and started walking out of the kitchen.
I stopped in my tracks and turned to him, talking in a calm voice, my voice almost sounded sweet. “I’m going to have a bath..” I waited for a response, I wanted to hear his voice, I wanted to hear him talk to me. He took his eyes off of the newspaper and looked at me.. Lifeless.
“Okay.” He turned his head back to the paper, and went back into his routine.
I wanted to speak again, or try to make him talk more, but I help my tongue under clenched
teeth. I skipped a few steps as I ran upstairs, and closed the door behind me as soon
as I entered the light peachy colored bathroom. I turned the taps on, making the
water extra hot. The sound of the rushing liquid soothed my ears, and my mind.
As soon as I laid the tub, my muscles felt relaxed, the warm heat of the water melting
off the ache in my arms and legs. I sunk deeper into the steamy water,
feeling relieved of all stress. I laid like that for a long time.
I got out of the tub, dried off, drained the water, and changed back into
my clothes. When I opened the door, all the cold air
passed through me, my body shivered as it attempted to get used to the cold.
My nose felt like ice, I thought I could feel the invisible icicles on the tips of my hair harden.
I didn’t realize how cold it was in this house before.
I walked down the stairs, my legs shivering as I tried to balance myself as I went along.
I wasn’t even thinking about Aarin at the time, my mind was drifting into the cold.
For a brief moment I thought my body was frozen, but to my relief I was moving.
My feet finally came to the first floor, I stretched the little stiffness that was
clung to my body off, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw him on the couch staring at me.
Oh crap. I felt a shiver go down my spine, but it wasn’t because of the cold.
I stood there staring right back into his eyes, trying to find some sense of warmth, but there was nothing. He stood up, holding a woolly black blanket in his hands. I stayed where I was, as he
walked closer to me. He gave me no personal space, his hard chest pressing up against me. I looked up at him, and watched his hand move towards
my forehead moving my hair out of my face. He looked in my eyes and hugged me,
wrapping the blanket he had around my shoulders.
“Ikira.. You look freezing.” My cold body melted against his, My head felt hot,
my face was red, and I was warm again.
I felt a feeling of relief as he was touching me and talking to me again.
The blanket wasn’t the thing that was keeping me warm.
I felt his hands move down my back, a little to low, I thought he was about
to seduce me again. But instead without my permission he picked me up,
as if I weighed nothing. I was still wrapped in the blanket, being carried like a helpless
child in both of his arms.
He sat down on the couch, placing me on his lap, like a rag doll.
I felt his arms wrap around my stomach, making me unable to escape his grasp.
I didn’t even bother trying to run away, I knew for certain he was to strong for me.
His arms tightened around me, almost depriving me of air.
I could feel his cold lips touching my neck, my body shook without my permission,
I felt ridiculous, just for the fact that I was the one who always freaked out,
and he always acted as if he’s done this one hundred times.. Wait,
he obviously has done this before.. Is he still seeing people?
Did they leave for a while? And he’s just using me for a substitute?
My body flinched again when one of his hands moved to my check,
his cool fingertips sliding down my face.
I couldn’t get my mind off of the topic, was what I was saying true?
I might be falling in love with him, but…dose he feel the same way?
Dose he feel that same churning feeling in his stomach when
I touch him? I soon found myself answering these questions without thinking.
He obviously doesn’t feel that way, because he’s the one that kisses me and touches
me. I just sit there, helpless.. If he doesn’t feel the way I do.. Then what dose he feel?
I felt an unexplainable emotion well up inside me. I could feel my body go cold again,
and soon I realized I didn’t feel at all. At that moment I felt emotionless.
His cold touch didn’t seem as cold as before, as my mind drifted off into all my questions and thoughts, the world become a blur. I could hear him breathing in the corner of my mind, but it
wasn’t really enough to bring me back to reality until he spoke to me with his sweet whisper in my ear. “Ikira.” I lost my breath for a moment, as the world came back and my thoughts disappeared I saw his face. He seemed so warm and caring at the time, his eyes gazed
deep into mine with concern. “Hmm?” My heart wasn’t pumping that fast anymore, I was eager to
listen to what he had to say next. “Are we still going to see your family on Thursday?”
His arms unwrapped around my waist and placed them on my legs.
I looked down at my legs, where his hands were. “Yeah, well I-I mean if you want to, then sure.”
He laughed a little, and smiled at me, which made me feel better, because he seemed happy.
He slipped out from under me and turned to walk in the entrance hall.
“Alright, then we’ll go, he said five o’clock sharp.”
“It’s two days away though.”
“It will go by fast enough. Anyway, I need to drop by at the grocery store, I’ll be back soon, alright?”
“uh-yeah sure, see you later, Aarin.”
“I won’t be long…”
With that he was gone, and I was left alone in his empty extremely clean house.
what to do? I guess I could do the laundry.. I took the blanket off my shoulders, and it felt cold again, but ignored it.. I walked upstairs, into our bedroom, and opened his closet.
It smelled of fresh strawberries. His closet was very spacious, just like the rest of the house.
The hamper was half full, so I assumed it wouldn’t hurt to wash them.
The washer was in a large closet beside the bathroom door.
I set the time of the wash, placed the laundry detergent inside, and pushed the dark clothes into the first load, it ran quite smoothly.
I placed the hamper in the closet beside the washing machine, and closed the door shut.
After that.. I was bored. My legs dragged me downstairs. I flopped on the couch, and grabbed the first magazine I saw off of the coffee table. I turned the pages, skimming through it for something that would interest me, but nothing would suffice, so I gave up on reading magazines, and decided to wash Aarin’s cup he used in the morning. After that… I was really bored, there wasn’t really anything to do. It’s only been ten minutes since he left.. I have to find something to do.. Well I guess I should call my parents.. It wouldn’t hurt. I went over to the phone, and dialed the number The phone rang about three times, then mother answered, I had almost forgotten how soft and kind her voice was. “Hello?” I didn’t say anything right away, I was just happy to hear her voice.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Oh, Ikira! I haven’t talked to you in ages.”
“Yeah I know sorry about that.”
“I thought you went with Miyaskie and Riyu?”
“No, I didn’t want to leave my home town, so Riyu told me to move in with an old friend of hers, and they‘re not moving until next week.”
“Oh yes, that’s right…Well, when ever you decide to come live back here…”
“Mom, you know the answer to that, and I’m doing alright.”
“Alright.., but you know your always welcome here. “
“Yeah, I know. How’s Dad?”
“He’s alright, his asthma getting a little hard on him, we’re still fighting sometimes… But I guess things are getting better.”
“I’m glad to hear that, are going to dinner at brothers house on Thursday?”
I could hear my father yelling muffled words in the background.
“Yes, ill see you there alright? B-but right now.. Your fathers had a
little too much to drink, so I’d better get going.”
“A-alright, bye mom, and please.. Take good care of yourself.”
“Thank-you dear. Bye, Ikira.”
I placed the phone back on the charger.
Father… I could see my memory flash back in my mind. Memories of my Father.
He was sweet, kind loving and caring once. Aarin reminds me of my father a little, (beside the ’I think im in love with him part) the father I knew when I was a child.. A little bit.
Father has changed though… ever since he started to drink.. When I was twelve.
Alcohol is a poison, when drinking to much.. It changes you, into something.. You
would never wish to become. It changed my father, and he will never be the same…
I’m thinking about too much.. All of this, Mother, Father, Brother, Aarin.. College…
I’m stressing myself out over nothing…
At that moment I heard the phone ring.
My hands reached for the phone, and as I put my ear to the speaker, I heard his voice.
“Ikira. How are you?”
I felt well, happy that he was calling me to see how I was doing.
“I….”
I could felt my lips shut tight, I couldn’t think of anything to say..
Why is he calling? He should be home by now.
“Ikira?”
“I’m fine…”
“I’m relieved, I wanted to call you to tell you something.”
“What would that be?”
It was quiet for a moment, on the other line.. He seemed to be thinking. Is he having second thoughts about calling or…?
“I want you to meet someone.”
“Who is it?” his lover?
“You’ll find out.. When I come home. I’ll be back soon.”
He was gone, with those last words.
The clock in the kitchen.. It’s noise became louder and louder in the corner of my mind.
tick tick tick tick… booming in my head, all my thoughts, and pictures in my mind. and the ticking of the clock. I’ll see you on Thursday. Ikira, take care of yourself. Father… IKIRA! What the hell do you think your doing?! I could hear the voices.. Of those who are dear to me, but those who have hurt me as well.. Brother, mother…. Father.. The ticking noise that was hurting my ears suddenly stopped, when the thought of Aarin came to my mind. Could he be someone important to me?
I could see his face, and heard his voice in my head, saying my name, over and over again.
Ikira….Ikira…Ikira….
“STOP!”
I put my hands on my head, and feel to my knees, my forehead rested against the cold kitchen wall.
My body started to quiver, I covered my ears. Hoping, praying, that the thoughts in my mind, would go away.. I heard the door knock.. I stopped shaking.. And all my thoughts disappeared..
he’s here. I couldn’t move, for that one moment.
“Ikira? Are you there?”
my breathing became shaky, when I tried to speak as I got back up.
“Yes!”
I walked over to the door, and let out a sigh, trying to forget the thoughts I had before.
I opened the door and saw him, with a woman. I felt my heart sink, but I covered my emotion with a smile.. “Welcome home.” “Thank-you Ikira. I’d like to introduce you to someone.”
He held her wrist and pulled her lightly in front of him, placing his hands on her shoulders, like he was showing me some sort of prize. She looked about my age maybe a year older. “This is my sister, Maria.” She looked almost identical to Aarin.
Her long dark brown hair went a few inches over her rounded shoulders, it had the same reddish look to it as Aarin.. Her face looked similar, but her eyes were a hazel color.
She smiled at me, with innocent eyes.
“Nice to finally meet you Ikira. “
I couldn’t say anything.
For that moment I was stunned.
She seemed so nice. Hate began to fill me up, my heart felt like it was
turning black, as if it was being devoured into pure darkness.
Why should I hate this girl? She’s done absolutely nothing to offend me.
The emotion I felt was unexplainable. As I finally spoke to her, the words didn’t
come out right. “Nice you to meet. Ugh- I mean.. err..” I looked the other way,
it was sort of embarrassing, and the fact that I was scratching the back of my head,
wasn’t helping either. I moved my arm to my side, took a breath, and smiled sheepishly.
“Nice to meet you.” She giggled at me a little, and walked swiftly past me into the living room.
Aarin made a sort of inward laugh, wrapped his left arm around my neck, and dragged me with him into the living room to sit with his sister. “Hey wait ! Let go of me! A-Aarin!!”
He released his grip on my neck in front of the side of the couch. His arm jerked my head forward,
which made my body loose balance, and I feel helplessly forward, head first into the couch.
Now I was embarrassed. I raised my head, saying cursed words behind clenched teeth. As soon as I looked up I saw Maria not even an inch away from me. The expression on her face was sort of stunned, and I thought she was going to back hand me any given moment. But to my surprise, she covered her mouth, and laughed. Her cheeks were red and her now her sparkling eyes were watery. After her laugh attack, she looked at me and smiled. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.” I sat up on the couch, and looked over at Aarin, who was sitting somewhat uncomfortably on the other couch not five feet away. He wasn’t staring at me, or Maria, but in between us. My eyes glanced down at were Aarin was staring, and I realized, that me and Maria were sitting very close together, and her hand, was on my leg. I placed my hands on the couch, and moved to the left of me, near the end of the couch, away from her. She gave me a confused look at first, as if I moved because of something she did, but soon let it go and started talking to me in a giddy sort of tone. She asked me so many questions, as if she was interviewing me or something, and Aarin didn’t look pleased. He stood up calmly, and looked away from me and Maria. “I’m going to get a drink.” He might be irritated by me or- I glanced over to the hallway, and saw a large white bag with yellow polka dots covering it. My eyes narrowed, I looked over at Maria, and moved a little closer to her. “Maria.. Are you staying here tonight?” She held a blank look on her face for a moment then smiled. “Yeah, I’m actually staying here for a few days, you see.. ”
“I couldn’t stay in my apartment anymore because I couldn’t afford it, I rented another house just a week ago, and I was suppose to move into it today, but the people that are presently living there need more time, and since I had no where else to go, I called Aarin.”
I blinked a few times, trying to figure out what she said. She was talking a little too fast.
“I see, well you are definitely are more than welcomed to stay here of course.” I gave her a smile,
it seemed kind of different then the way I usually smile. My face seemed kind of warm now..
“I’m going to go see what Aarin’s up to.” She blinked a few times, again a little confused for some reason which was uncertain to me. “Okay.” I turned away from her as slowly stood up. I saw Aarin the moment I stepped into the kitchen. He was drinking liquor, and let out a deep sigh as soon as he had finished chugging it down his throat. At first I didn’t know what to say to him, but without thinking I spoke. “You… shouldn’t drink so much.” its was silent for a moment, I guess that he didn’t notice that I was behind him. “Adults are allowed to do as they please.” In what seemed to be a second, Aarin walked swiftly towards me, grabbed my arms and pressed me against the kitchen wall. “Only you..” his body was pressed up against mine, crushing me against the wall as he whispered in my ear. “huh?” “I can only have you.” I could feel his heart beat against me, my heart was beating much faster than his. He took a step back, I took a breath while I had the chance. I lost my train of thought when he wrapped his arms around me tightly. “Aarin.. W-what are you doing?”
“Ikira. Don’t ever betray me.” I didn’t really understand. He let go of me and smiled as if nothing happened. “Lets get back to Maria.” What is he doing? PMS-ing?
“Okay.” As we walked down the hallway I felt sort of strange. Was Aarin drunk?
I wasn’t sure as to how much he drank before I entered the room…
When we finally walked into the living room, Aarin grabbed my arm and dragged
me over to the other couch across from Maria, and sat beside me. It was quiet for a long time..
Maria stared at us, Aarin had his arm around my neck, his eyes closed. I sat motionless staring at the ground. It was so quiet, it was almost uncomfortable. I knew no one else was going to say anything so I started. I wonder, what their childhood was like.. ”Ikira?” “Huh?” I realized that Aarin was talking to me, I guess he broke the silence before I had the chance, and he was ignoring his little sister. He wasn’t looking at me like he usually did, something seemed different about him.
I could see in the corner of my eye that his fist was tightening on my shoulder. He was staring at Maria. She interrupted before he could say another word. “So, Ikira. How’d you end up living with my brother? I mean if it’s not to rude for me to ask..” Her face looked so innocent, her sparkling eyes gazing into mine. Aarin took his arm off of my shoulder and leaned forward slightly, as if he was defending me. “Maria, I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Aarin made a huff sound. And Maria smiled.
“You’re right, it was unnecessary for me to ask..” I guess they don’t like each other..
“Um. Maria, where will you be sleeping? Since well, there’s only one bedroom.”
She seemed surprised.
“Oh.. I hadn’t really thought about it .. Well, where do you sleep? Since there’s only one bed?” Aarin interrupted. “Ikira sleeps in the same bed as me, we share a bedroom. I think Maria, since you’re only staying here for a couple of days, that you could sleep on the couch. If that’s alright with you” Maria looked at Aarin. “Yeah, that’s fine. Anyway, I need to go get the rest of my things..” I got up without hesitating. “Do you need help?” I walked over to her. She had already gotten up and was heading towards the hall. She stopped and turned around. She walked slowly like she was hovering towards me, and I had to admit, she was a little close. I knew Aarin didn’t like it. “I’ll be alright, there just at my house, and there’s not too much.” She put her hand on my face and let it slide slowly down my neck to my chest. ”Thank-you” She gave me a smile I hadn’t seen on her before, and walked away. “I’ll be back in a few.” With those last words, she was gone. I stood there a little embarrassed. I could feel Aarin’s eyes
starring at me. I heard him get up and walk swiftly behind me. I could hear his even breathing, his cool breath on my neck. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
We stood there in silence for a while. “You shouldn’t be so care free around her.”
“Why is that?” He responded a little too quick, almost defensive.
Because, you don’t know her like I do. Just please, for me, be more cautious.”
“Fine.” I stared ahead of me for a while, trying to figure out what Aarin had meant.
I tried to take a step forward, but his now cold arms wouldn’t budge around my shoulders.
It seemed like he was thinking deeply about something. “Ikira..”
“Yeah?” He whispered in his deep soothing voice in my ear.
“How do you feel, about me?” What he asked took me by surprise, I didn’t know what to say to him. How do I feel about Aarin? I hesitated for a moment. “I-I don’t know, I’ve only known you for a few days..” I bit my lip. His grip on my shoulders tightened. Did I offend him? Suddenly his grip loosened. I held my breath when he turned me impossibly fast. His hands were still on my shoulders. He stared into my eyes, I gazed back into his. There was something different in his expression at that moment, something I had never seen before. I soon realized that he had started hugging me tightly a second later, I hadn’t realized because my eyes had been infatuated by his. My arms stayed at my side. “I’m sorry, if I made you feel uncomfortable, I just….couldn’t keep myself away from you. There’s something about you, that I’m drawn to. Your just so appealing to me.” As he said those words in my ear, I began to think about yesterday. How he seemed so calm and uninterested at first, but I soon as I came in… His actions changed
so dramatically. My thoughts were interrupted when he took a step away from me. His eyes
were thoughtful and kind, they had some sort of truth in them as he spoke again.
“You can understand what I mean now, is that right?” I hesitated. “Somewhat…”
“Ikira, the first moment I set eyes on you, I wanted to do anything to get you to love me,
to get my hands on you. It was my first instinct. Its difficult to explain…”
His eyes strained away from me, deep in thought. I felt the tension between us.
I wanted to take a step closer to him, to comfort him, but my legs wouldn’t budge.. There was a long moment of silence, then he was starring at me.. Again.. His voice was lower now, the way he said his words so calmly, so perfectly. I listened attentively. As he spoke he walked slowly over to me. It was almost as if he was walking on air. “I can’t keep my mind off of you. I can’t stand other people being around you. I want to be someone who is special to you..” His eyes lowered, I assumed that he was waiting for a response from me. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same way, and that I wanted to do anything for him to make him happy. That I loved to see him smile, and that I love …… My mind trailed off again. I spoke without choosing my words properly.
“I feel weird when I’m around you…I’ve never liked a guy before. But there’s something about you that drives me crazy.. That makes me want you.” I gasped at myself when I realized I had just pretty much told him that I loved him in the first two days that I had known him for, and knowing that he felt the same way.. Made me feel relieved for some reason.. He laughed in a sort of low tone, and placed him hands tightly on my shoulders. “Well, now that that’s over with..” I suddenly realized that Aarin had picked me up. I couldn’t help but squirm around in his arms. But he kept walking as if I weighed nothing. He dropped me on the couch were we had sat together before Maria had left, and laid on top of me. I was trapped in his grasp once again..
CHAPTER FOUR
At first I thought I was going to be crushed, but his weight wasn’t even on me.
His face was an inch away from mine. He seemed almost graceful as his hand
held my face. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to press his lips to mine, I didn’t make
any attempt to move. My body yearned for his touch, I heard him laugh under his breath
as I opened my eyes. He was smiling differently then he usually did. His teeth glowed in the afternoon light. I assumed that he was going to kiss me, but stopped at my reaction.
I stared into his eyes blankly, trying to figure out why he seemed so happy.
He sat up, his legs on either side of my waist, his arms by his side, starring at me.
He wasn’t smiling anymore just looking at me, deep in my eyes. I realized that the color of his eyes were slowly changing from brown to black. I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or if I was just going insane. I was sure it was both. I sat up before I starting seeing more strange things. My face wasn’t that far away from his chest, his even breathing was almost like a lullaby to my ears.
His cold hand lifted my chin to look into my eyes again. Before I could even think his lips were pressing against mine. I felt his cold hand on my cheek.
I laid slowly back down as my lips were still locked with his. His breath was as cold as ice.
My face felt frozen, I couldn’t hold my breath for much longer, but I wanted nothing more than to kiss him forever. I could feel his hand move into my ruffled hair. He let go of the grasp he had on my lips,
and moved his hand to my neck. He closed his eyes and smiled widely. My heart began to beat faster as he whispered softly in my ear. “You’re heart is beating quite fast..” The grip he hand on my neck tightened slightly. “Do you want me to slow it down for you?” There were many things I wanted to say, but I stayed quiet and helpless.. “Hmm.” I could feel his hand move slowly down to my chest, his face moving down to my neck, his inhumanly cold breath freezing my entire body.
I thought he was going to move down lower, and I was going to stop him if he did. But he didn’t.
I guess he didn’t want be to be too freaked out about the whole ‘male lovers’ thing.
His stone cold lips slid against my neck, to my collar bone. It felt numb were his was kissing me,
almost frozen.
I twitched while his right hand slowly moved up my shirt, to my chest.
Why am I sitting here? What should I do ? Just sit here, like an idiot ? No, I have to do something..
There wasn’t much I could do. I put my hand in his hair, and tried to move down. He really seemed to like my neck, a lot. In fact it was kind of creepy, he was attached. His lips finally moved up to my face, but didn’t intent to kiss me, just whisper to me, and smiling.
“I’ve been waiting to do this, for quiet some time…” I hesitated while his hand left my chest, slowly moving down to my belt, the smile still smeared on his face. I flinched, closing my eyes, waiting for him to touch my pants, or where I thought he was going to touch. His hand stopped as I closed my eyes, right at the first button of my pants. I started breathing heavily. Curious as to why nothing was happening, I opened my eyes. He was smiling still, accept it didn’t look as creepy and smeared on as before. It looked natural, and charming, more like him. He shifted himself off of me and sat on the edge of the couch, looking right into my eyes, with a serious and curious expression.
“Do you really think that I would have touched you like that right away?”
I sat up, and hugged my knees, then sighed, and hoped he didn’t notice I was relieved.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t, but I didn’t want to say anything, or push you away.. I just didn’t want to hurt you.” His eyes widened as I spoke unevenly. His teeth clung together in some sort of disapproval and responded quietly. “Don’t ever hesitate to say what’s your mind. How will I ever know your feelings in those kinds of situations unless you tell me?”
My eyes narrowed. “I’ll be more open minded towards you from now on..”
He smiled,
