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Young Writers Society
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Read / Write
Short Stories
Science-Fiction Short Stories
Shift
16 posts
1
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2
Ashleigh Brown
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1113
Reviews
11
Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:43 pm
Ashleigh Brown
says...
·
Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:43 pm
This was pretty good, and there wasn't a lot of things that needed to be changed. I feel though you should add a little more detail to draw the reader in. Other than this i can't wait to read the rest.
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On some days, my will to write disappears faster than a donut at a police station.
— Arcticus