Blind - Chapter 6

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Hey, if you think I'm clogging up the forum with my work, then inform me.
Anyway, this chapter is dialogue galore,
But I hope you'll enjoy it, because I'm introducing more main characters.
Though Melody & Nathaniel are the two most prominent main characters.
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“You have got to meet her, dude. You just gotta.”

“What the big deal about this Melody girl anyway?” My brother Nathan asked skeptically.

“I’m so excited that I think I’m going to pee in my pants.” Nate commented in a bored voice. Typical.

“She’s really funny. You should see her get all fired up when I talk to her.”

“Picking on little girls now, Nathaniel? You should know better.”

“I’m not picking on her, Nathan. But she’s always so…touchy with me. I wonder why.”

“You wonder why. No one would have guessed, watching you annoy her throughout junior high.”

“Always the sarcastic one, Nate.” I rolled my eyes and punched my brother’s shoulder.

“I try.”

“So is she in the same class as us?” Nathan enquired absentmindedly, eyeing his own timetable.

“Eh, I don’t know. It’s not like I had her number.”

“We don’t blame her for not wanting to tell you.”

“Shut up, Nate. I just didn’t ask her for it. But this year I resolve to befriend her, even if-”

“She kicks mud in your face? Like what Lena Rosset did to you in fifth grade?”

“And we had to pull her off you before she gave you a free tooth extraction.” Nathan added.

“Haha. Very funny guys. But your triplet mind-reading has failed this time. I was going to say ‘even if she doesn’t want me to’. And how was I supposed to know she didn’t like worms?”

“Nathaniel, even if she did like worms, which moron would try to make friends by dropping an earthworm down the girl’s dress?”

“Yeah, ever heard of a simple hello, nice to meet you?” Nate scoffed.

“Why are you guys always ganging up on me?” I grinned, “You know you love me.”

“Because among the three of us, you’re the stupidest. And the youngest.” Nate replied promptly, adjusting his backpack strap.

“Hey, I resent that.” I whined, and Nate simply rolled his eyes.

“I think you’ve mixed up ‘loathe’, with ‘love’.” Nathan chipped in. The two of them had a full-time occupation making my life as miserable as possible, but I knew deep down, those guys just envied me.

Ha, you thought I was going to say that they cared about me, right? Fine, they do care, though most of the time it may not seem so.

“Oof,” I gasped as a guy bumped into me.

He looked like a senior, tall, muscular and mature. “Sorry kid,” he took a close look at me then glanced at my brothers and his eyes widened in recognition. “Hey, you’re the Peyton triplets, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded, rubbing my shoulder where he had injured.

“Woah, it is such an honour to meet you guys. Everyone’s been anticipating your arrivals.” He grabbed my hand and started pumping it up and down excitedly.

“They have?” Nathan raised an eyebrow.

“Of course we are. You guys are legendary here. I mean after all, your dad’s like our hero. He’s totally jazzed up the place.”

“Ah, that.” Nathan didn’t really like the fact that we were popular because we were loaded. None of us did. It makes you wonder who is truly your friend.

“Oh hey, I’m so sorry about the shoulder, dude.”

“It’s okay.” I grinned goofily.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you around. I’ve got to meet my tennis coach. The name’s Justin, by the way. Look me up if you’ve got any problems finding your way or stuff.”

“Sure,” Nate replied, starting up the steps to the school’s main entrance. Nathan and I followed suit.

“You should smile more often, Nate. It’s like someone threw away your emotions or something.” I chided.

“And you should smile less often, before you start looking like you’ve got a botox shot.”

“Which is why I will outlive you, bro.”

“If I don’t kill you first.”

I hid behind Nathan and pretended to be terrified. “Nathan, save me! Nate’s about to make you a twin!”

“I don’t think I’ll mind. It was nice knowing you, Nathaniel.”

I pouted. “You guys are always so mean to me.”

“Twit. It took you so long to figure that out.”

I ignored that. “You know, you really ought to stop wearing black all the time, Nate. It’s very unbecoming.”

“I’ll give you a black eye if you don’t shut up.”

Upon reaching the top of the stairs, we entered the building. It was a familiar place to us. Our dad had brought us here a couple of times when he had his alumni meetings or when he came to visit Uncle Jared.

Amidst the stampede of students that scattered as they entered the building, I saw her. Melody.

Oh God. She had changed over the short summer holidays. Her hair had been restyled and she was taller and svelter than ever before, the jacket could not hide that. Even the goddess Aphrodite would be jealous looking at this gorgeous green-eyed beauty. I stopped breathing altogether.

She spotted us and abruptly stopped in her tracks. I wanted to wave but her face registered shock, horror or both. Her eyelids flickered and she collapsed onto the floor.

“Melody!” I yelled, dashing towards her with Nathan close behind me. Nate acted as if nothing happened, strolling in at a relaxed pace. That git.

“Move aside, I know her!” I ordered, panicking. Please be alright. Please be alright…

The crowd encircling her parted and I handed my bag to Nathan, I gingerly scooped her into my arms and quickly brought her to the Nurse’s office.

Nate was still trailing behind us by the time we reached our destination.

“Oh dear,” the nurse gasped when she saw Melody, rushing over to help us put her on one of the beds.

While the nurse busied herself with attending to her new patient, Nathan and I sat down on the couch nearby. “God, I hope she’s okay.” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair anxiously.

“Relax, she’ll be fine, Nathaniel.” He patted my back and added dryly, “What an interesting way to be introduced to her. Does she do this often?”

“What?”

“Faint.”

“This is the first time she’d blacked out whenever I’m around. Maybe the surprise of seeing triplets was too much for her.”

Just then, Nate walked in.

“Nate, where the hell where you?” Nathan sighed.

“Following you guys. Duh.”

“You couldn’t pick up the pace?” I snapped in irritation. I was rarely ever in a bad mood, but it was different when things involved someone I really cared about.

“No,”

“Why did you bother to come here anyway? You don’t really seem to care when someone faints.” I asked, still peeved.

“You’re right. I think I’ll head to our homeroom first. The bell’s gonna ring any moment and someone will have to explain your absences.”

“Remember, it’s room 301, on the second floor.”

“I’m not dumb like Nathaniel, Nathan. I know where room 301 is. I’ll see you later.”

We sat in silence while the nurse retrieved a bottle of smelling salts, removing the lid and placing the small bottle under Melody’s nose. She stirred and her eyes slowly opened. She seated herself upright and looked around, catching sight of my brother and I.

She flopped back on the bed, slapping a hand over her forehead. “Someone please tell me this is a nightmare and that Nathaniel Peyton doesn’t exist.”

“No can do. I am one hundred percent real and you’re not dreaming.”

“Nightmare,” She corrected.

Nathan and I stood up and approached her. “Hi,” He took Melody’s hand, shaking it gently. “I’m Nathan Peyton.”

“Melody Keyes.”

“Yes, Nathaniel has told me a lot about you. Judging by the way you regard Nathaniel, I think we’re going to get along just fine.” Nathan smiled.

“Yes, but unfortunately, he hasn’t told me much about you.” Melody cracked a brief smile, then grimaced at Nathaniel. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were Mister Peyton’s son, and that you were a triplet?”

I shrugged, “You would have figured out sooner or later. Anyway, you haven’t met the third triplet yet, but his name is Nate.”

She frowned, “Nate, Nathan and Nathaniel Peyton?”

“Yeah, our mom didn’t realise that our names all came from the same root.” Nathan explained.

“So my brothers got their name from mine.” I chirped happily, pleased with the fact.

“But you didn’t seem to have gotten our brains.” I scowled at that remark. Melody giggled at Nathan’s comment and I felt a strong emotion swell inside of me.

Jealousy. Melody never laughed at anything I said.
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"




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You have a knack for ending a chapter perfectly!
Lol I do find that name thing weird, but it's all part of the fun.
And I do like that they take the piss out of Nathaniel, and now I'm starting to think that maybe him taking the piss out of Melody stems from his brothers taking the piss out of him!

Lovin' it a lot. And maybe there could be some conflict with the triplets and the other students because they're rich. That would be kinda interesting if their time at the school didn't go as swimmingly as it did in Playing the Field...
Keep it Old Skool.




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*grins evilly*
You'll have to wait and see...
*shifty eyes*
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"




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Hi again! :D

Okay, the only thing I have to say for this chapter is that I was really confused with the dialogue in the beginning. Nathaniel was called "Nat" in one of the other chapters, so I confused Nate with Nathaniel; and also, I thought Nate and Nathan were the same person, but it said there were three, so I kept looking for the third one. You may want to explain the name thing a bit earlier so as not to cause confusion.

I do think it's cute, the little same-root-name thing, though. (: I actually liked the fainting thing a lot better in this chapter. I thought it was cliche at the end of the last one, but that's a never-mind now I've read this one. >.< Sorry!

Overall, I really kind of liked this chapter. 9.5/10! (: *claps* Yay!

~Dark Angel
♥Your tears don't fall,
they crash around me,
her conscience calls
the guilty to come home...♥
~Tears Don't Fall, Bullet for My Valentine




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I had purposely confused you with the names XD
I don't know why but I seem to be keeping a lot of things shrouded in mystery and confusion.
Then I'll end up revealing it later on.
But this is still early in the story.
Lots of things to develop! :D
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Oh! I called that! I soooo called that! Jealous much Nathaniel! :twisted:

I loved it that he gets annoyed by his brothers, because it's perfect. I don't really see why he doesn't use that irritating trait of his on his brothers, though. Hmmm....

I loved this chapter, but I thing you under-did it just a tad with the detail. Other than that it looked well-edited and interesting.

I wonder if she could ever fall in love with more than one of them? That would be a sight to see, or read. Anyway, great job on this chapter!
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Wait, Nate, nathan & Nathaniel? don't you think that it's going to get too confusing? and what about the principle, wasn't his name Jared too, aswell as the senior guy? I think you have some major name issues, better sotrt that out before you get it published! (if you want to) I think it might be a little too short for each chapter to be an actual chapter.
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Just one little thing I saw:

“You couldn’t pick up the pace?” I snapped in irritation. I was rarely ever in a bad mood, but it was different when things involved someone I really cared about.
“No,”

Should be a period instead of a comma.
Onto the next chapter!!!
So it goes.




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WHOA.
HOLD UP!

that is really confusing. having their names all the same in a way? i was getting mixed up just reading it! but it does at to the story! definitely!!

i see a little love triangle or somethign going on here? maybe?
i think the way everybody is related adn stuff and Melody didn't really know until now is kind of weird.

Like, how did they go to gradeschool together and her never see the other triplets?
Idk.

I'm a fan though!!



I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
— Holden Caulfield