SOCIETY:The Ultimate Masquerade

A mask, when we smile for our parents
A mask, when we laugh for our friends
A mask, when we grimace at class work
A mask, when we come to the counselor and smile all over again
Under these personae
the elements of the heart:
are truly at war,
are in harmony,
are in vain,
are completely insane
and Universally Inane….
Rampaging, anger setting the earth on fire like Vulcan force winds in high gear
Pulsating, Joy, glee, cheer throughout the year, happy enough to be cruel enough to jeer
Bubbling, Sadness, whispering like a corpse’s soliloquy reverberating off of one gallon tears.
So I beckon thee, oh all kind of man
Rip away your mask…
If you can…
Spare me your feigned ignorance, concepts and lies
Do not betray yourself
I would know
You would die.
I am reality
I am only as real as you perceive me to be
You cannot deceive me, for if you are trying…
I have already deceived thee.
There will be times of rest
Where I’ll allow you to be free
But don’t try to escape
There is one who enforces me.
His name is Suffering ,
He keeps you awake
If you defy even him you risk making yourself brake.
Suffering is relentless, strong as despair and swift as lancing pain
He will never subside
For I have your mind to gain.
Remove your mask and bare all truth unto me.
I am the body of truth, I am reality.

Another largely impressive piece, man.

At times it seems almost too pretentious; however, that is up to the writer to decide, not the reader. The only part that really bothered me was the line with the exclamation mark: "are completely insane!!" honestly, the punctuation there just seems to bog the poem down right there. Otherwise, the rest of the poem picks it up and really continues to make the reader think about what we really are.

Very nicely done. When are you gonna post that novel/story/whatever it was on here? I was interested in that, actually.

Monument Soul wrote:A mask, when we smile for our parents
I am only as real as you perceive me to be
You cannot deceive me, for if you are trying…
I have already deceived thee.
I am the body of truth, I am reality.

This stuck out, it reminds me of the relationships between people. It's really a blind faith thing and a trust issue. I always find those ironic. Irony is hilarious. This captures humanity very well. And I do so enjoy our humanity, as horrible as it may be. This is actually about my favorite thing in the world to ponder and

Monument Soul wrote:Pulsating, Joy, glee, cheer throughout the year, happy enough to be cruel enough to jeer

This emotion is so ridiculously elementary. I love your use of words here, it adds on to the whole "happy enough to be cruel enough to jeer" Pulsating indicates that it beats, and glee is open delight and it's like it's a denial but a truth. The happiness circles around almost. It's really a wonderful use of words, sorry if I fail at explaining what I mean.

Monument Soul wrote:Spare me your feigned ignorance, evil and lies
Do not betray yourself

I loved this line too because it emphasizes that the weight is not on anyone else but it's on yourself. Here you point out really the loneliness that goes along with the truth. And the illusion. You infer that everyone is aware of it. I'm curious though as to why it is evil? Yes it's a lie, but I think it should be left open as to whether it's a good or bad thing to want to live a sham. Personal choice after all.

Overall I loved it, but I may be biased because this is something I think about myself quite often. I could go on but what do I know?

^_^ Mind if I slip some opinions in here?

Under these personae

the elements of the heart:

are truly at war,

are in harmony,

are in vain,

are completely insane

and Universally Inane….

Well, in this list we see insane complemented by completely, inane complemented by universally, and the leader, 'at war' complemented by truly. I should think 'in harmony' and 'in vain' deserve their own descriptions, but that's up to you. ^_^

Pulsating, Joy, glee, cheer throughout the year, happy enough to be cruel enough to jeer
Bubbling, Sadness, whispering like a corpse’s soliloquy reverberating off of one gallon tears.

Eh, just punctuation things through hear, but I'd like to point out that I LOVE the imagery of 'one gallon tears', about how over-worked they are. Beautiful. And the 'happy enough to be, cruel enough to jeer' line is so profound -- it really speaks to your poem as a whole and the mask of hypocrisy. ^_^ Great.

Suffering is relentless, strong as despair and swift as lancing pain
He will never subside
For I have your mind to gain.

I'm confused as to what 'lancing pain' might be, but that might be my inferior intelligence showing, haha. If not, I know it's hard to break the BEAUTIFUL rhythm you have going {the rhymes are perfectly placed and jump out at you sometimes when you least expect it, but they're lovely}, but perhaps try to clarify.

I also wonder if this is a point where the narrator reveals that he/she IS in fact, Suffering? If not, then working /with/ Suffering? Just a point upon which I was pondering.

All in all, a beautiful, powerful, moving piece of work. Keep it up! ^_^

Like always, I do not have the faintest idea what to say in response to your masterpiece. This is absolutely incredible. I'm literaly at a loss for words. Keep up the great work and PM me when you have more for me to fall in love with! This was my favorite part:

Pulsating, Joy, glee, cheer throughout the year, happy enough to be cruel enough to jeer
Bubbling, Sadness, whispering like a corpse’s soliloquy reverberating off of one gallon tears.

This was filled with emotion and imagery. I think I re-read it nearly a thousand times haha. Truly amazing.