She sat there, minding her own business when her granddaughter came in and plopped herself down at her feet.
In this sentence, you repeat "her" a few times talking about both the grandmother and the grandaughter. Try and clear that up by using a few less pronouns.
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the little girl asked as she got into her grandmother’s lap.
Explain this more. Say how she may have struggled to reach her grandmother's lap or something like that.
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“Moira, you have heard that story quite a few times already,” Eirian said.
What does she sound like? Raspy with age?
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“I know, but I want to hear in again. Your story with grandfather is very interesting and adventurous,” Moira said as she lean against her.
Moria seems to formal for a young child.
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“Mom, have you seen Moira?” the little girl’s mother inquired as she came to the doorway.
You used 'inquired' before, go for something else. Also, I'd write a way to make the mother trail off in mid sentence when she sees her daughter in her mother's embrace.
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“I’m right here and I was about to hear grandma’s tale,” Moira said as she looked at her mother.
I'd split this up somehow. "I'm right here, mommy," Moira said as she looked at her mother. "Grandmother was about to tell me a story." Something like that.
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“Not the one where she meets grandpa again,” the mother said. The small child nodded. “But it’s getting close to your bed time.”
This a bland and robotic. in the tag, add a roll of the eyes or lowered tone.
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That's all I have for advice. Sorry if I wasn't too helpful. I'm interested in the grandmother's story. Hope it's adventerous. Ha
