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My query letter

lyrical_sunshine · 2008-10-06T19:20:37Z

Can you guys read over this for me? I'm not just looking for grammar mistakes; I want to know if it makes you want to read it too. Be critical, please! Dear Agent: What would you do if your worst nightmare was the only thing that could save your life? I read on your website that you are interested in reality-based fantasy novels and thrilling page-turners. I am confident that you will appreciate the world of FIREBRAND, a young adult fantasy approximately 92,500 words in length. Seventeen-year-old Marcella Beauregard is obnoxious, antisocial and sarcastic – and she likes it that way. Because while her teachers and classmates are busy hating her, they can’t ask about the house fire that killed her father, her grades, or her constant nightmares. But when beautiful, popular Vanessa invites her to go swimming at the river, she’s too curious to say no. When Marc is separated from Nessie, a wrong turn takes her over a waterfall and into a dream-world where fire and darkness are alive, and they live in the bodies of warriors who battle the night. In this world Marc is suffering from a disease caused by darkness, a disease that is slowly destroying her body and mind. And when she wakes up in the hospital a few hours later, she has a fever, a wound that will not heal, and the taste of ash on her tongue. As Marc hurtles back and forth between two worlds, not sure which is reality, she begins to question everything – who she is, what really happened to her dad, and why Death and Darkness are hunting her. FIREBRAND is my first novel, and I have tentative plans for two more follow-up books. I have been a staff writer for my local newspaper since 2007, writing both hard news articles and a monthly column. I lived more than half my life in Po-dunk, Colorado, the small town where Marcella’s story takes place. I now live in Slightly Bigger City, where I am studying English at A Major State University. Thank you for your time in reading this letter and considering my manuscript. I look forward to hearing back from you. Sincerely, Sunny

MidnightVampire

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Points 1190

Reviews 200

Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:04 am

MidnightVampire says... · Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:04 am

Hey, good luck with your manscript! It really sounds intersting. My friends is currently going through the same process as you. And (hopefully) I'll be in this stage someday.
I agree with the 'mixing the two' idea.

I realized that I said I'd be gone for only two weeks...but I was gone for much longer.I hope to stay on this time.

Quote

These were autumn mornings, the time of year when kings of old went forth to conquest; and I, never stirring from my little corner in Calcutta, would let my mind wander over the whole world.
— Rabindranath Tagore, The Cabuliwallah

My query letter

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