Love You Forever

16 posts1, 2
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 962
Reviews 42
I enjoyed this :D

The last stanza is most powerful!

Beautiful. Although, it can be improved. I agree on what Hassan said by expressing complex feelings with simple words. I would recommend you look this over, and modify it.

If anything, I find this to be a beautiful first draft.

-PG



Oh, Brightlord Tumul! How unexpected it is to see you standing there! I didn't mean to insult your stupidity. Really, it's quite spectacular and worthy of much praise.
— Wit (The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson)