Gray (IV)

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Gray

Scene IV

(It’s nighttime, now. Prate is tiredly making twine. Mute is curled in the corner closest to Sage’s cell, and Sage is resting against the back wall. Blaine can’t sleep, so he goes back into his escape mindset. The noise jerks Sage out of his thoughts.)

SAGE: Are you still trying to escape?

BLAINE: Are you still just going to sit down here until you rot?

SAGE: I don’t give up easily. I was a very stubborn prisoner. But there’s just no point in escaping.

BLAINE: Because the guards will find me and drag me back, I know.

SAGE: That’s part of it.

BLAINE: I’m not going to wait until they starve me to death or string me up or some other wicked form of execution.

SAGE: Is that your sentence? Execution? (no answer) So you’re only exaggerating?

BLAINE: Not by much, I can tell you that.

SAGE: Hm.

BLAINE: (beat) I bet you I could reach that window up there if I climbed these bars…

SAGE: Those bars don’t have much grip, and that window is high up. (beat) Sorry to kill your joy, but—

BLAINE: There has to be a way.

SAGE: Suit yourself.

BLAINE: (pause) No, you’re right. I can’t hold on to the bars.

SAGE: Giving up so easily?

BLAINE: I haven’t given up escape. Just that idea.

SAGE: I see.

(The two are silent for a while, and Prate falls asleep. Mute shudders in his sleep.)

BLAINE: Do you have anyone waiting for you to come out? (no answer) Sage?

SAGE: Yes?

BLAINE: Do you have any—

SAGE: I heard you the first time.

BLAINE: Then, do you?

(Mute shudders again. Sage puts his arm through the bars to touch his arm.)

SAGE: (beat) Some want me to come out, or are wishing that I could come out. But no one is waiting. No one is expecting me to come out. Not after what happened to all the other tutors.

(Long pause as Blaine slowly realizes.)

BLAINE: Then…then you…why the hell you were here for two years?!

SAGE: Shh…keep your voice down!

BLAINE: That can’t be right…are you sure?

SAGE: Yes, I’m sure. The king was waiting to see if there would be another tutor willing to do it. There was, a few months back. Most likely another arrogant fool like me. Hopefully he’ll have better luck.

(Mute shudders again, and Sage puts his hand back through to try and comfort him.)

BLAINE: Does…does Mute know?

SAGE: Of course not.

BLAINE: Why? Why keep it away from him? He should know!

SAGE: (stands suddenly to turn on him) Don’t tell him anything! Don’t you dare tell him anything!

BLAINE: Why not? Why shouldn’t I tell him?

SAGE: Shh!

BLAINE: No! He should know what’s going on around him! Just because he’s blind doesn’t mean—(Mute shifts, and he quiets himself.) Just because he’s blind, doesn’t mean you should keep him that way!

SAGE: Says the man who wouldn’t tell him what color the sky was.

BLAINE: He could ask anyone that! But there’s not another Sage out there, waiting for Mute to be freed. He should know that.

SAGE: And if he does know? What happens then? (pause) He may not be thrilled to be down here, and he does miss seeing the world around him, but he’s happy enough. Already he’s swaying in the balance. One more thing to make this point of his life even more unendurable, and he might not be able to make it.

BLAINE: Have you thought about what it will do to him when he does find out, though?

SAGE: He won’t know.

BLAINE: Oh, he’ll know. When he wakes up one morning to find that the cell next to him is empty, he’ll know.

SAGE: You think I haven’t given this any thought? I’ve been considering this for two years. Don’t tell him anything. He can’t know.

(Mute stirs)

MUTE: Sage? Are you ‘wake?

SAGE: I’m awake.

MUTE: S’there light?

SAGE: Yes, there’s light.

MUTE: What’s it look like?

SAGE: It’s moonlight, a blue pearly color that shifts constantly.

MUTE: Moonlight? It’s still night?

SAGE: Yes. Morning is a long way off.

MUTE: Then why are you up?

SAGE: I couldn’t sleep tonight. I have too many thoughts.

MUTE: Why?

SAGE: (smiles) And you say I ask too many questions.

(Mute smiles and turns over, trying to get back to sleep.)

MUTE: Well, you do. A lot.

(Sage watches him for a while, making sure he’s thoroughly asleep, then stands up and moves over towards Blaine.)

SAGE: What would he do if he learned I was going to die?

BLAINE: He would hold on to every last second he had with you. He’d memorize your voice and your words. He wouldn’t create any false hopes of being let out of prison with you to describe everything around him.

SAGE: How long have you known him, Blaine? How long have you spent with him? (beat) He’s a fragile boy, and sooner or later, I’ll be forced to drop him. But I don’t want him to crack. The best I can do is try to drop him as gently as I possibly can. (pause) Promise me you won’t tell him. (no answer) Promise me, Blaine!

BLAINE: Fine, alright.

SAGE: “Fine, alright” what?

BLAINE: Fine, alright, I won’t tell him.

SAGE: “Fine, alright, I won’t tell him” what?

BLAINE: Do you have to be so skeptic?

SAGE: I’m in a prison, Blaine. That itself is a very good reason to be meticulous.

BLAINE: (beat) Fine, then. I promise I won’t tell Mute that the man he respects the most is going to die. I promise I won’t tell Mute that one day he’ll find his world shattered. I promise I won’t tell him that the man he sees as a father has been lying and keeping secrets from him the whole time he knew you.

SAGE: Do you have to make this more difficult than it already is?

(Blaine doesn’t answer. Sage turns his back on him and sits in the corner next to Mute’s cell, going back to his thoughts.)
Where are we going?




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Hi Volant! :D

Oooh... this one seemed sort of deep. :wink: But the problem with that is, is that this is with Sage and Blaine. Blaine is not like that according to the post when you first introduced him. He was rough, indifferent, and stubborn. In this, he's curious and caring about Mute. The one that he really didn't seem to like because he wouldn't stop asking about what colors things were.

I especially think that this didn't make any sense for Blaine's character:

BLAINE: (beat) Fine, then. I promise I won’t tell Mute that the man he respects the most is going to die. I promise I won’t tell Mute that one day he’ll find his world shattered. I promise I won’t tell him that the man he sees as a father has been lying and keeping secrets from him the whole time he knew you.


and

BLAINE: Why not? Why shouldn’t I tell him?

SAGE: Shh!

BLAINE: No! He should know what’s going on around him! Just because he’s blind doesn’t mean—(Mute shifts, and he quiets himself.) Just because he’s blind, doesn’t mean you should keep him that way!


Why is he so suddenly caring?...

--

Okay, now on to the grammer review! :p

After you use the elipses after a sentance you need to put a space.

Haha, wow, that was short.

--

Anyway, this was pretty good. Although I'm going to have to say that I'm disapointed with this. Especially with Blaine's sudden personality change, and the fact that Prate still hasn't said a word and won't leave his twine alone. -.- *steals twine and thows away*

Okay, I think I have a little request if you'll allow it. WILL YOU PLEASE GET PRATE TO TALK?! Lol.

*runs away with twine*

-kittykat
Our happiness here is all vain glory,
This false world is but transitory,
The flesh is weak, the Fiend is slee
Timor mortis conturbat me.
--William Dunbar




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hahaha Thanks for the interest. Actually, there is a reason Blaine has a sudden change of character. Has to do with his past, which will be revealed...um...next scene, I think? Don't remember. Yeah, I think so. *checks* no, scene after that. haha.

He was supposed to be shocked out of his normally "rough, indifferent, and stubborn" facade. I'm disappointed I wasn't able to show that....:( Any ideas on how I can change that?
Where are we going?




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Shocked out of it, yes, okay, but you have overdone it just a bit.

I'm going to go ahead and assume there's a reason why a) the King is such a tyrant as to hang all the boys tutors and b) Sage is still alive, despite his failure. I am guessing it has to do with his noble bloodline - but then, if that meant anything, he wouldn't be in prison anyway, he'd be exiled from the court or something. That will be explained, I hope, otherwise that is somewhat of a hole, no?

Something that just occured to me is that on a few occasions now, Sage has threatened Blaine - to make him answer Mute in scene two, and a few other times as well, he at least acted threatening. This, on top of his rough-seeming accent in the first two scenes made me believe he was a toughened criminal - which in turn, made everything seem much sweeter and more comedic.

The fact that he is an educated man, a noble no less makes all that ring false.

Again, as I mentioned before - where are the guards in all this? The food? The gossip? - and yes trust me, even there, there would be gossip from the guards mainly - drunk nights on watch and such. You need to introduce some prison guards; you can be sure at least one or two of them would have formed at least an amiable bond with the prisoners.
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I found the part when they were talking about why Sage was down there for two years remarkably hard to decipher, and I didn't realize that he knew he was about to die until you stated it openly. You may want to change that. Other than that there is nothing that I see that hasn't already been mentioned.
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