...Past

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This is the coldest hour
and you are my furnace.
You are standing here
before me—
with a long, accepting smile
across your dusky face.
The deliberate rays of your flames
try to reach to me—
with extended arms
and slow, hazy eyes.
I am looking
and waiting for you
to utter me a word.
A word—
to utter—
a nearby, familiar word—

but you are scrambling
in the darkness—
eternally searching—you do not know,
cannot understand
that it is slumbering here
in the chasm between us—
and that this word
may be the only thing
that leaves us both
here in the cold.
my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away




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Reviews 3900
Gadi.!

We did a video critique of this poem, we being Sgt Salt and me, Snoink. First we read it out loud (which is a scary in itself) and then we commented on it! I know, exciting, isn't it? And we also compared your poem to this. So just watch it and, if you have any questions, just ask! And... um... my sister is kind of crazy.

Anyway!

http://revver.com/video/1348390/affilia ... e-of-pain/

Hope that helps! :D
Last edited by Snoink on Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Gender Male
Points 1108
Reviews 404
OH MY GOODNESS

I haven't even finished watching the review and I want to give each one of you a big wet kiss. I feel like I'm more commenting on a youtube video right now than on my poem or a review. So this is weird.
my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away



huh. didn't realize santa was a batman fan-
— Mageheart