I just finished reading the entire thing (chapter 1-6). I do like the story, so keep at it. In my opinion, your first chapter is very gripping and drew me in. Probably your best chapter as well. I wanted to know more about the mysterious girl. I think everyone has pretty much caught everything I wanted to point out on this chapter and the others.
I look forward to reading more of this story! Hopefully in the near future.
Now I think I am off to write my own Vamp. story... haven't tried one yet and this seems like the perfect time to it is a nice 23 outside lol.
If there is one thing in the world I CAN'T stand it is the Redwings.