A Vampire Story CH.1

i think you need to back up your story with something more reliable.
Blood tablets? sorry but that doesn't seem very interesting! The whole point of being a vampire is that you drink blood from humans!
and i don't really understand why he's in school pretending to be in the 10th grade. Maybe you could explain why he was there?

The concept isn't bad at all, and with the idea with the blood capsules is very clever of you. However, like many would think, it is kinda random, and if this is the first chapter of book or some story, there should be more of an expostion to the story such as background, if your character had family, interests, or something that can connect the readers to the main character. And the scene with the "bully" guy, the dialogue can be more interesting. It feels like they are just random lines. And punching the guy was kinda random. You could make the bully guy make the first move or something, but in a secluded area such as the hallway outside the classroom. And then the biting of the bully could be more descriptive. Describe more on how the blood came out and how the character tasted it. How warm was it, or how cold it was. It would draw in more readers and help them visualize it easiler. That's just my criticism, but other than that, it is a very interesting concept.

Point:
You can't actually be 100 years old, because you sound WAY to immature for that.

Point2:
I so agree with that other person about blood pills. Maybe something else, but certaintly not that. I mean REALLY. Aren't vampires supposed to be a bit prideful about the sucking blood variable about their personality.

Point3:
The very idea of vampires attending school is just the most stereotypical thing.

Point4:
Harsh language was not necessary. If it was ABSOLUTELY necessary then a rating of 'R' is required.

Point5:
Fluidity would be appreciated in this story if you want to keep pursuing it.

Question/Point6:
What reading level do you want this to be directed toward?
Young Adult, Super Mature, Mature...etc
Well it sounds like gradeschool minus the unnecissary harsh language. If you want this story to sound good and to attract the reading level you want, you need to add better transitions, and be open to a wide vocab.

Point7:
This story may be deserving of the bin if not cleaned up! Come on! Don't make the Steriotypical vampire! Make one that you create ALL ON YOUR OWN.

Point8:
If you want to post this on a site, proofread it first. I was bitten AFTER my transformation.Uhhuh.

P.S. Why would a vampire let someone like that bully live? He might not kill him in school... but outside is a whole other thing.

P.P.S. Twilight stereotype?

P.P.P.S. MORE DESCRIPTION

P.P.P.P.S. More character building.

Jealous? (insert scoff here)

This is overall pretty good. i see potential.

EDIT!!!!!!!
It's like the main thing to do. And you have failed to do that. If you had you would've picked up the capitals and all other nitpicks my spellcheck changed.

A/An:

or anold alley cat

the next word begins in a vowel, so you use ‘an’ for A/E/I/O/U, ‘a’ for the rest’

I personally do not see the need for that beginning. If you write the story correctly your reader should realize that information.

The blood scene could be better. In fact the whole story feels rushed and you should, ideally, describe him better (emo/gothic? Is that why he's a freak? Or is he so normal nobody notices him?)
It left me with so many questions.. ahh!

- Why doesn't he drink human blood? Why would he subject himself to living with humans?
- WHY is he a freak? WHY WHY WHY? Is it because he's goth or too normal or nerdy or doesn't speak or is too quiet..?
- What does he look like?
- Why doesn't anybody like him?
- Where is this? There is a SEVERE difference in American 10th grade and Australian 10th grade and European 10th grade. And if i know the country I should know a whole lot more about the characters.

And yeah. Some has been said. It has potential. EDIT HARD!!