I actually really liked this one. It was funny, and light. Nice writing, good flow, good story-telling. Great job, I'd love to read some more. Almost makes me wish for a part II. xD I'd like to really see the mother's reaction when he really tells her.
I'm
an Atheist, a young teen girl, someone who loves Harry Potter and hates Twilight, someone who doesn't see deepness in everything, a person who has never suffered from any diseases of any sort.
I'm average, but...
hey i really like this, i think youve depicted the nervousness of the speaker and the way the mother picks up on it very well and i love the ending.. flows so nice xxx
The story was told very well but they rhyming was off. I will not say it ruined the story but it did take away from it. There are some splling mistakes such as the word "thought" in line 5, you spelled "though", and the word "Stir" in stanza 3 line 4, you spelled it "Stur" other than those few misspellings, that i caught, i fell that the poem was beautifully written. I loved the story because my friend recently went through that and I remember talking to him about it.
