The Perfect Season

Hey!

Okay people, I got rid of the last stanza!!
This poem was kind of a joke, but I changed it.
I think it's somewhat decent now...

cheers!
-thevoiceinside

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Perfect Season

The leaves swirl in criss cross patterns,
Dancing across the endless sky
A calm wind screams the vibe
Sing with boundless pride
For life seems easier,
More fun and alive
The perfect season is here
Let us cherish it so dear

Mouth-watering smell of baking pie
Makes itself known so clear
No one faking, never denying
That sweet goodness of holiday cheer
Never alone at this time of year
The perfect season is here
Let us cherish it so dear

-----------------------------------------------------------------

haha

nice end, i like it

(y)

lol. great ending. that was nice.

i love this one soooo much

really good, It had beautiful words. But I didn't like the last paragraph. Because first you are saying "What a great season" Then you are saying "But my poem sucks" I think you should take out the last paragraph. BUT STILL I liked your poem. Good job I cant wait when the season you wrote about will come! Keep up the good work!

The last stanza looks out-of-place. The "joke" bit I mean...

And..."rhyme" and "time" are very cliched rhymes.

I liked the first stanza a lot, maybe you could write a different continuation to it.

It starts of so well, bringing in a nice calm mood and then suddenly WHAM! The joke bit ruins the clam and dulls the entire poem.

The joke bit has absolutely no connection with the poem or its title 'cept the last lines. You could write a new appropriately funny beginning to this end. A non-nonsensical poem would go well with that verse, I think.

Sorry for being so harsh.