neww. no name yettt. help me outt?

2 posts

likey?

  • :) 67%
  • :( 33%

Total votes: 3

User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 25
okay. well i put myslef in the position of my best guy friend.
everyone says he likes me. but if he did i think this is what he would have been thinking
this was also very easy since it was basically inspired from the music video for lollipop by framing hanely.
:D


It's been a while, I'm so nervous.
people surround me. i know no one. their eyeing me like I'm a freak.
"I get enough of this at home" i think.
But there you are, more beautiful then ever.
Your brown hair shines and your floating like a feather.
Your leaving your date, he seems happy but his smile is fake.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
All my fears have literally walked out the door.
Your too good to even know my name, you said things just haven't been the same.
Your mix CD is leaving my hands. I'm ready for us to dance.
Everyone seems to disappear. But i can't care,
Your truly the one here. I'm in the corner of the room, staring at my feet, your making everyone laugh, the party is finally complete.
You were the missing piece.
Oh how you shine in this crowded room.
But now your leaving the party group.
Their faces are filled with jealously.
But your blue eyes tell me,
over here is the only place you wanna be
"isn't it supposed to be like this? the glory of first love, and all that. it's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"---twilight




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 8
I like it but if there lines were even it would have a better flow::). Other than that you did pretty good I like this part of your poem


"Oh how you shine in this crowded room.

But now your leaving the party group.

Their faces are filled with jealously.
"

Anyways I enjoyed reading this piece.. I would like to see more from you';P

Keep writing!
I may not be the best writer, But I will do my best!



Life is about losing everything.
— Isabel Allende