Tree-Climbing

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Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 46
I stood below
A maple tree
And looked up into the sky.

I heard an inward voice cry, “Climb!”
It was calling out to me!
“See what’s out in your backyard,
Atop that maple tree.”

I set my foot to the sturdy roots
And onto the man made stair
I put to my hand the first brown branch,
That seemed inviting there.

Up and up,
On up and up,
I climbed that maple tree.

“That branch is gone,” the voice bemoaned,
“You broke it months ago.”
But I, determined, just made do
With one that did near grow.

I finally managed to get myself
To the top of that maple tree
A level above the usual one
So more of the world I could see.

At the top
Oh, what a sight!
Did meet my hungry eyes!

The whole wide earth, it seemed to spread
Out at my very feet
The colours! The sights! The thrills I got
From the top of that maple tree!

The reds, and greens, and yellows, too
The oranges, golds, and whites,
The greys and browns and purple-blues
The shadows and the lights!

I listened
As I stood atop
That grand old maple tree!

I heard a cicada’s tuneless song
And the chirpy little bird
A car drove past, and made the noise
That always can be heard.

Then I heard a sound that was
Not quite so pleasant to hear.
The sounding of my mother’s calling voice,
“It’s time to come in, my dear!”

So down, down
Down I went
From the top of that maple tree.

I put my foot on the closest branch,
That for the broken substitutes,
Past the wooden man-made stair
Onto the God-made roots.

So down I jump from that maple tree
That grand old, strong old tree,
But content am I, for well I know,
It hasn’t seen the last of me!
Last edited by Mrs Elizabeth Darcy on Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.
Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 1




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Points 1057
Reviews 9
I loved this so i gave u a star! Enjoy. You told us the story so well. I loved it and to think you are only 13! As your senior i shall congratulate you in your sucess! Congrats! I would write more but i must be off. I thought i would just say that i loved your poem and that i shall probably be back on later to give you a more detailed comment. Until then then.




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Gender Female
Points 1057
Reviews 9
right, i'am back. Ok so your poem is really great. really. I loved the last stanza, 9th stanza and 6th stanza best because they flow so well and are worded really well too. I do however think that the first two stanzas were a bit iffy. I got a bit confuzzled to be honest. I didn't really understand what was happening so i think you should make your thoughts/ ideas a bit clearer there. And ummmmm sometimes your syllable counting thing goes out a bit but other than that i loved it. (i'm not very good at grammar correcting etc so i will let someone more experienced do that part) I thought you have alot of talent and am looking forward to reading more of your work in the near future! Good luck!!!

:)




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Points 1090
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I too gave your piece a star!! Wow I could defenitly see the whole thing happening! I really loved it! It was a really good break from all the very emotionaly driven poems that get posted here, which don't get me wrong are very good... but oh how I love a clean crisp breather every now and then. Your poem was simple, to the point and beautiful! How do you do it? PLEASE keep writing!

The Happiest Bear You Ever Did See!
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"when in doubt pinky out!"



Not tryna sound like a houseplant but sometimes all you need is food water and sun and suddenly everything is better
— Quillfeather