The Survivor ( Extract 2)

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What were we going to do?

This question was way too big for my mind to comprehend right now. I lay my head down on the suitcase, breathing heavily, clinging on to it tightly. All around me, people were crying and yelling. I felt like I should go and rescue them all- but I was just a girl with one suitcase that was only just keeping me afloat. What could I do? I closed my eyes, trying to block out all the despair and horror of it all.
My phone was gone. Passengers were dead. I didn't even know anyone that was on the plane. I was alone.

I opened my eyes weakly. I was certain that I saw a stretch of land in the distance a few moments before. I scanned the horizon. Was that it? Yes, it looked like land. It certainly wasn't sea. Which must be a good thing. But it was so faraway, and all of a sudden, I felt ready to drop.
I had to survive. I had to. I didn't want to be another member of this watery grave. I kicked my legs, using the suitcase as a float. Taking one last glance at the others around me, I started the long journey to survival.

At first, I didn't think I was moving. I was kicking hard, but not making much progress. After a while, though, my legs found a rhythm- a pace. Left leg, kick. Right leg, kick. Deep breath. Left leg, kick. Right leg, kick. Deep breath. Left leg.....
I focused hard on kicking, harder than I needed to. Thoughts and fears of sharks, jellyfish, stingrays and sea monsters filled my head, swimming into the corners of my brain. I was constantly peering into the water beneath me, looking for dark shapes or teeth.
A few others had seen the land now, and were making progress behind me. I was tempted to fall back and drop behind, so that if there were any dangers, the people at the the front of the crowd might be targeted first, but I was scared of being left behind.
So I pushed on forward, at the front. Left leg, kick. Right leg, kick. Deep breath. Scan for sea monsters...

....

My feet touched something. I'd been kicking for ages. My head was resting on the suitcase and I paddled in the general direction of land. My legs were aching. Pulling my head up, I saw that the island was right in front of me. Carefully, I pressed my foot down. Sand. Wet sand beneath the water, beneath my feet. We were in the shallows of the island. Spurred on by a short burst of energy, I pushed the suitcase aside and staggered forward, wriggling my toes into the sand and stones below. I dropped to my knees and crawled forward, occasionally getting hit in the face by a new wave rolling onto the beach. But I didn't care. We'd made it! Land! We weren't going to die! I heard cries of happiness and relief, and saw people rushing forward, before my body gave up and I collapsed.

I opened my eyes and saw pink. Confused, I stared at it for a few moments, before realising I was staring at the sky. It was sunrise. A new day. My skin felt tight where the salt had dried on my face. My eyes were sore and itchy, and I was sopping wet from the waves rolling gently over my body. I must have slept through the night. I sat up, and saw that, like me, other passengers had slept on the beach, too tired to find proper shelter. I counted forty, plus myself. Forty-one people had survived out of three hundred. But I couldn't think about that now. Now I had to think about how I was going to survive, along with the other forty. Casting my vision further up the beach, I saw green trees, pink blossom, creepers and vines.
'That must mean that life can be here,' the voice in my head woke up. ' Trees and plants mean water and nutrients.' It was right. Stumbling to my feet, I took a couple of tentative steps towards the jungle.

As soon as I entered the shadow of the nearest trees, I felt much cooler. The sun had been beating down harshly on my shoulders and neck, and I'd felt dizzy, but now I felt much better. I walked forward carefully, looking round. The vegetation didn't cover the floor, and small insects such as spiders and beetles scuttled over my feet. I could hear crickets, camouflaged by the greenery. Then I stopped. There was another sound. It sounded like...dripping??
Dripping. That meant water! There was water here!
Listening carefully, I followed the sound, and found a small cliff-face. Water was dripping steadily out of a crack in the cliff, and falling into a small pool at my feet. I dropped to my knees and let some fall onto my tongue. It was freshwater. I swallowed greedily, enjoying the sensation as the liquid whetted my parched throat.
Once I had drunk my fill, I started to make my way back to the beach. Should I tell someone about this?
No, I decided. Best to keep it to myself for now. Just in case...
Last edited by Gee on Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:11 pm, edited 4 times in total.
The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do never does what he can do.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them as much.




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hmmm. this is a decent story.

the problem i find with it, is that it's just like every other story about being in the ocean and having to get to land. nothing really makes it stick out, or be individual. i think this is a very fun topic to write about, however. if you developed on it, or made it have a twist, or something unexpected, that would make it a whole lot better. let me know if you do. i'd love to read it.
"It is a dull mind that can think of only one way to spell a word."




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oh wow, do you know what? im really sorry. i didnt even know there was a post before this one. i feel really stupid. i thought this was all there was. after reading the other one i really like it. =]
"It is a dull mind that can think of only one way to spell a word."




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This is a really great piece of work and I want to hear more! Exactly how many people made it to the island and what's going to happen to them? Is there food on the island or do people have to eat each other? I need details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Cobra
The corpses are piled high around. Blood carpets the floor and flames scorch away the last remnants of humanity. The screams of the damned echo in my head. I smile. I am home.




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This reminded me of The sims 2 Castaway. Good work.

This was pretty short, considering its beggining, but greatly written. What are they going to find on the island? People? Or are they alone? Will they find food and shelter there?

No mistakes! Well done. :D

Will you continue it?
Warden: "If you want to lead, all you have to do is ask."
Alistair: "What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants."
- Dragon Age

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I liked this it was interesting! Whats going to happen now? Are there people on the island? Is there food? Do they get rescued?
I think you should have described more about how she felt about the crash and about how scared she was, but its still ok!
I tried to be open-minded but my brain kept falling out!




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This was good! I read the first one and now this. I love the story that this is turning into. You describe things a little bit more. Like where the other survivors are and what they are all doing. Besides that, it was awesome. I can't wait until the next one.
Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.



Don't gobblefunk around with words.
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